Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins

Lights, camera, access.

Yes, it's true. The master of midday TV goes prime time.

Talk show host Dr. RJ Stevens has popped the question to Bianca Kittles,

recent winner of Survivor: Kiribati.

What's good, family?

The Doctor's show, with his irreverent guests...

I've been banging your sister.

... party-like atmosphere and his "Team of Me" philosophy...

The team of who?

Me!

Rely on yourself.

... has gotten a significant ratings boost

since news of his impending nuptials became public.

This is, no doubt, welcome news to the ultra-competitive, glammed-out Bianca.

The TV reality star used every asset she possessed

to outwit, outplay and outlast the competition

on her quest for the million bucks.

It's a Q-rating bonanza,

as these two couldn't be more perfectly matched.

Life is good for the good doctor.

Wow. (WHISPERING) On access.

That was fabulous!

Honey, I'm so proud of you. Thank you.

You're such a star. Isn't he a star?

He is a superstar.

Now, that is how you announce your engagement!

That was genius.

You're the talk of the town! Hey, RJ.

Could you imagine this five years ago, bro?

With a girl like that? Hell, no.

Hit show, big mansion on the block. Now I'm international.

You look great, by the way.

Shit, man, that's all this tofu Bianca got me eating.

Besides the hunger pains, being a vegan is the shit.

Cheers. Honey! Telephone.

Get going.

That sounds wonderful. I can't wait.

Great.

Well, it's nice speaking to you. Okay, hold on.

It's your mom. Hurry up. Talk. We still have guests.

Hi! Hi there!

You made it. Oh, my God. You look amazing!

Hey, Mama.

Well, hello, stranger.

We're just beginning to think you just forgot all about us.

No, Mama. I can't forget my number one girl.

And I didn't forget your anniversary, either.

I sent y'all a 50" plasma TV.

One inch for every year.

That's sweet, baby. But we'd much rather meet Blanca.

She sounds so nice.

Bianca, Mama. Not Blanca.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was Blanca.

Well, baby, you know it's our 50th anniversary.

Mama, I don't think we're gonna be able to make it.

Jamaal, you know, he's got this big soccer game.

The boy loves himself some soccer, Mama.

I know. He talks to Papa all the time.

Jamaal and Daddy have been talking?

And writing letters.

Lord... You know, we haven't seen that child since he was a baby.

You've just got to come. Everybody's coming.

We got Ellie and Cleavon,

Clyde and Lucinda and...

Lucinda? Oh, yes.

Lucinda and Clyde?

Mmm-hmm.

They're coming together? I forgot to tell you.

But I... I thought...

That's a lot of questions, boy.

Hey, Daddy.

Especially from someone who has shown very little interest in his family.

Yes, sir, but I...

If you can find the time to explore "The Mind Of A Stripper"

or "Sisters Gone Wild" with your so-called "family,"

then you can find the time to spend with your actual family.

So you've been watching!

Boy, don't disappoint your mother.

Go, Jamaal!

There you go, there you go!

Boy, that kid's good.

Right. Move. Push it!

Come on, get it, get it, get it, get it! Right there!

Let it go, Jamaal!

That's a winner, Jamaal!

Hey, RJ, I'll see you later, man. Okay, take care. You tell Jamaal I said bye.

Jamaal, way to go. Way to go. That's how you do that.

Good going, guys! Yeah!

That's my boy. That's my boy.

That's a lot of running for one goal. But, hey, at least you hit it.

Dad, you should come more often.

Hey, I'm here.

Dad, why don't you want to go to Dry Springs?

Come on. Not you, too.

Papa Jenkins says Dry Springs is awesome.

He said all my cousins'll be there and I'd have a lot of fun.

Oh, really? What else do y'all talk about?

I don't know. School, my friends, soccer, global warming.

Global warming?

We talk about a lot of stuff. He's really cool.

Can't we please go?

I'll think about it, Jamaal.

Oh. Talk it over with the boss, first.

Boss?

Son, men run things in a relationship.

And between us men, never let a woman tell you what to do, and how to do it.

Your dad's in complete control.

Who's in control?

Tell me. Who's in control?

I don't know!

Take me higher, you can do it!

Oh, no.

Come on. Take me. Harder!

Come on, lover! Mama!

Yes! Oh, shit!

Push it!

What the hell are you... Yes!

Oh.

Speaking in tongues. That's a first.

I'm so proud of you.

I want to look hot for your family.

So now... Time for my seven miles.

Can you untie me first?

Babe?

Babe! Babe...

It's all done. I booked the tickets.

Honey? I'm hearing a tinge of doubt in your voice.

I'm cool. You know, it's... It'll be four days, then we get back to our lives.

Exactly.

This will solidify our union to the world.

We'll tape your parents' banquet, you make a heartfelt speech, and the ratings?

Oh, my God!

Yeah.

"Country boy done good returns home with his Survivor queen."

Hey, my... My audience'll dig that.

See? That's why I love you.

Baby, I've dated all kinds of men.

Athletes, CEOs, princes, bad boys, attorneys, mob bosses...

No, no, I get it. I get that.

But I've never connected with any of them the way that I do with you.

RJ Stevens.

Mmm.

Team of Me.

Your very words helped me win Survivor, and they brought me right to you.

They did, didn't they? Uh-huh.

See? We connect.

Yes.

We're winners.

And you? You're the man.

I am the man.

Say it louder.

I'm the man.

Say it louder.

I'm the man! Yeah!

Honey, don't ruin your outfit.

Baby, men don't wear outfits.

What do you have in these bags, anyway?

You went 39 days on a desert island with... With a toothpick and a thong.

I need options.

Damn the options. I need room.

I'd be happy to check that for you.

Hell, no!

I had some bad experiences.

I'll just slip it in the captain's closet.

It's the safest place it could be.

Let's get this party started.

Uh-uh-uh.

I got you beet juice.

Come on, baby, I want to live a little.

Precisely.

It's an excellent source of antioxidants.

Your drink, sir. Drink up.

Enjoy.

Once we have reached a comfortable...

Hey, Dad?

Yeah, son?

This is gonna be great. Thanks.

Anything for you, my man.

And now we ask you to please relax, sit back and enjoy the flight.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Georgia.

How does his bag get lost in a captain's closet?

Explain that to me. Yes, ma'am.

Where's your father?

He won't come out of the bathroom.

The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading only.

Honey, how do the pants fit?

Flight 514 from Atlanta, your luggage will be at Carousel 2.

You mean to tell me

this is the only pair of pants you could find in this country-ass airport?