Naughty Business (Cochinas)

CONTAINS NUDITY, SIMULATED SEX, AND POTENTIALLY OFFENSIVE MATERIAL

IF DEPICTIONS OF THE HUMAN BODY OR INTIMACY MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE,

YOU SHOULD STOP WATCHING.

-Good morning, Finn. -Sister, I didn't think you would come.

I was thinking about it.

I couldn't let you die without seeing a friendly face.

A friend? I've never had a single friend in my fucking life.

That's not true, Finn. You have Jesus, our Lord.

And me. I pray to save your soul.

Sister, to save me, would you be capable of surrendering to sin?

What sin are we talking about?

I had thought about gluttony.

Get ready, Sister, because you're gonna gorge yourself on cock.

BIG PENIS WALKING

Like that… suck, bitch.

Eat cock, you daughter of Satan.

That's it.

Oh, my God.

What barbarity.

More… Eat my cock… You like it, don't you?

BIG PENIS WALKING

Fuck.

What a slut.

Please!

Eat it all, that's it.

Oh, my God.

That's it, eat that cock.

Just like that.

SUCK - ORGY - CUNNILINGUS - GUYS - GIRLS ANAL - OLDER WOMEN - BUSTY WOMEN

"Busty." Let's say one and two.

Mom, where's my TV?

Mom, why's it locked?

Grounded for a week without TV!

What? Why?

This is fascism!

Two weeks!

Mom!

-No, Isidro, no. -Please.

-Paca, I want to see you. -No, it's better this way.

Again?

NAUGHTY BUSINESS

Nines, is this a joke? You're asking me to forgive your debt?

Yes, but in exchange for becoming an investor in the video store.

-In a porno video store. -Well, not just any video store.

It's the first porno video store in Valladolid.

Nazario, that's where the money is.

Hello. Good morning.

Here's your order. Pork loin, bacon and sausage, right?

Thank you. Tell your uncle I'm taking it off his tab.

Okay, done.

Ms. Nines.

Well, tell me more.

As I was saying, do you know how many dirty movies I rent out

for each Julia Roberts one they rent out?

How many? Ten!

Ten! What do I mean, ten? No. Twenty!

Speaking of money, how much is that per month?

A lot!

And 20% would be yours.

-Fidel! -What?

What if you have pairs?

Come on, come on.

What? I don't have pairs. I don't have pairs.

Fewer are being rented now,

but that's because the catalog is outdated,

but we're going to order 300 more movies.

-Wait, Nines. I can't put in a penny more. -Nazario, please…

No, we took care of it-- For God's sake.

-Kids, kids! -God fucking damn it!

Stop it now!

Give me another bitter.

Mariví, don't you know how to control them?

Maybe this is not the place to talk about this.

Listen. I can give you two months.

But that means I would have to finish the repairs

-in… fifteen days. -Fifteen days.

Take it or leave it, Nines.

-I'll take it. -Great.

-Yes. -Of course. Great.

Okay.

Listen, why don't you and I close the deal with dinner?

Sure.

-Come to the house. -Okay? Okay.

With the kids.

I make a great orange chicken.

Winner.

Put the shandy on my tab, thanks.

CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS

Hello?

Is anyone here?

0% FAT 100% SEXY

-No. -Yes!

-Go ahead. -I wouldn't dare.

The boss said so. This is the thinnest part of the wall.

-But wouldn't it be better to call a pro? -There's no money.

Come on, damn, do it already.

Come on. One, two,

and three!

-Shit! Wait! Fuck. -There's so much water.

She's going to kill you.

-Paca, we're closed. -How could I know there was a pipe?

Hey! The butcher.

Yes.

The doctor says he is stable. But I don't know what to think anymore.

He looked better to me. Like he wants to wake up now.

-From your lips to God's ears. -Don't think so?

It feels like it's taking forever.

Sure, with the Dorothy too.

You're renovating, right?

I saw the sign.

I asked if you're renovating.

Renovating? No. Well, yes.

We've got leaks.

-Leaks, with the way you treat that place? -Yes.

Mom. Are you coming to see Dad or what?

She's such a moody brat. I oughta give her…

Patience.

With the leaks too.

It's a lot, Nines.

And it'll wear on you, sweetie.

It goes like this.

-This is the wall of the back room. -Yes.

Mariano used it for storage. Until now.

Geronimo!

If we can tear it down without fucking up the pipes

and then clean it all up a little, we'll have a nice big space.

It'll be our new secret X-zone.

And no one will notice anything.

Only the wankers, and they won't say anything

because they're wankers.

Have you thought this through, Chon? People will freak out.

-What people, Agu? -People.

Nines has thought it over.

To the world, it'll be a normal video store.

The video boxes remain as they are, as a facade.

But they'll be empty. In the end, no one comes to rent those.

And we'll sell the VHS.

Just the tapes, I mean.

And that way we can buy new porn.

Oh, sure, new porn. Great.

Great. The boss is writing a letter to Santa.

…14, 15…

Twenty mature, 20 interracial, ten group sex.

-You don't carry any incest porn? -No.

Come on. Do we look French to you?

Mature.

What's this?

They can give us a good price.

Relax, I have the salesman wrapped around my finger.

You left something at my house the other day.

-Fuck, dude, give it to me! -What?

-Okay. -Let go, asshole.

Not that!

Oh, for God's sake!

Look at that.

How many people are there? "Orgy."

"Powerful tits."

It's just…

Let's see, Chon.

-Does it work or what? -It works!

ADULT MOVIES

Well, all right. That's all she wrote, now let's fill it with pussy.

I do not know, Paca. This isn't my…

Just watch. Watch.

Be careful, you might get struck.

I'm off to the bank.

ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN 2

Really?

DOROTHY VIDEO STORE

Asunción! Can I ask what this is?

Hey! All Dogs Go to Heaven 2. A gem of animation.

This little gem was holding up the counter.

Everything is like that. Was it so hard to call a carpenter?

Don't look at me.

I can't do it. The shelves, the paint, the lightbulb, they're all against me.

I quit.

You quit. Calm down, handy-maniac. You'd have to be hired first.

Help the kid out.

And air it out back there.

When I get back, I want everything clean as a whistle.

-Okay. Bye. -Come on.

Damn, lady.

-She's got some nerve. -Yeah.

-You have all this… -Here?

What's this?

-Holy shit, man. Where was this? -The rag? Behind the toilet.

It is not a rag. It's Mariano's lucky shirt.

When he lost it, the Dorothy started going to shit.

Nothing to do with buying a million copies of Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot?

-Paca, honey. How are you? -Hi.

-Did the movies do it for you? -Yeah, well.

They were nice, but they didn't do anything for my Isidro.

Tell us what you're looking for and let's see if we can help.

-We're closed, Chon. -Oh, I don't know. Skinny girls,

boobs, busty ones like so. Something to help…

To ignite that thing.

I don't know.

For instance, what do you like?

This one.

Look, Paca, listen to me.