Days of the Bagnold Summer

I don't know why this can't wait until I'm back.

Because you'll be jet lagged and won't want to come into town

and you'll end up in no shoes to wear to the wedding.

- You know, how about those? - No.

- What's wrong with them? - Horrible.

- What's horrible about 'em? - Everything.

It's just a basic, black shoe, isn't it?

- Exactly. - I can't get anything right.

You could let me wear my trainers.

You're not wearing your trainers.

Why not? They're black.

Hardly. T-pexed all over with that awful morbid rubbish.

It's not rubbish! It's Metallica.

It's not appropriate for a wedding.

It's poetry. People read poems at weddings.

Why don't I get some new trainers, then?

You are wearing proper shoes to this wedding.

A wedding of two people I've never even met.

You have met them, actually, Daniel, when you were two,

Judith saved you from choking on a grape.

I don't remember.

It was rather frightening, actually.

Your face went blue and your eyes sort of bugged out.

- Have that, then. - Nope.

- Is it nice? - Mmm!

- Could I have a little corner? - Every time!

Why don't you get your own one?

Just a tiny bit off the end, there?

- No icing. - Okay.

Mmm!

So six weeks in Florida,

what you most looking forward to?

What if the baby's born whilst I'm there?

How you feel about becoming a big brother?

Half-brother.

If I'm his half brother, then what does that make you?

Well, nothing, really.

Half... step-mum.

No, no, I'm just the baby's father's ex-wife,

I've nothing to do with it... him or her, I should say.

You were desperate for a little brother or sister

- when you were younger. - So?

I thought you would be more excited.

They'll probably name it something stupid

and American, like... Brooke.

Daniel, that's not very nice.

Or Brie.

Candy.

Yeah.

Guess what the temperature is in Florida.

- Ooh, high, I bet, is it? - I said guess.

- Well, it'd be hot... 31, 32? - 30.

Hmm, still, that's warm.

Are you sure you have enough summer clothes?

You'll bake in black, you know?

They got air conditioning.

Can I do the gears?

- No. - Why not?

Because you can't drive.

- Ky's mum lets him. - Hmm.

You're always telling me to try new things.

You know that's not what I mean.

- What do you mean, then? - Oh, I don't know, Daniel.

Olives?

Dad's going to let me drive his convertible MG in Florida.

Well, you're not driving the Vauxhall Astra here.

Hello, Riley!

Daniel, could you get that?

Hello? Hello?

I think they've hung u... oh, hello, Bernie.

Fine, yes, thank you and...

Yes.

Oh.

No, you have to do what you feel is...

Um, actually, it's best if I do.

Daniel.

Sorry, it's just he doesn't really like Danny.

I will.

Okay.

You too, bye now.

What does she want?

- Would you like a cup of tea? - No.

What did she say?

Um, your dad and Bernie, well... there... it's a...

it's a bit tricky, but... with the baby due so soon

they're feeling a little overwhelmed.

- They don't want me to come. - No, it isn't that they don't

want you, it's... bad timing.

They're gonna re-arrange in a few months

and that way you can meet the new arrival.

So I'm afraid you're stuck with boring old me for six weeks,

but we'll have fun.

I'm sorry, love, I know how disappointed you must be.

[footsteps running up stairs, door slams]

Get a load of these puppies...

this, my friend, is what happens when man becomes machine.

Since when do you lift weights?

Since I've been getting a date tonight.

And you're go ice skating with your cousin.

Yeah, but she's bringing her fit friend.

So it's not a date.

I think this calls for the hat.

You might want to put a top on first.

- What's Skull Slayer? - It's the name of my band.

- But you don't have a band. - I know, but when I do...

Well, how is that going to work?

- Do you play an instrument? - I'm gonna be the front man.

Well, that sounds extremely plausible.

Is Daniel ready?

Sorry to hear about his Florida trip... oh!

You must've been looking forward to a bit of you time.

Well, these things happen.

Hmm. Hope you didn't have to cancel any nice plans.

My only plan was to clear out the loft... a bit sad, isn't it?

Oh, no, a clear-out can be fantastically therapeutic...

clear loft, clear head.

Daniel seems quite philosophical about it all, though.

Does he? I think he's quite disappointed, to be honest.

Daniel!

He said he does understand his dad and step-mum's situation...

we had a good chat about it at lunch.

He's very mature for his age.

Gosh, that's very...

Well, what a nice thing to hear.

Don't you think so?

Yeah, I mean, of course his...

yeah, it's different when they're yours, isn't it?

You see all the bad moods as well as ...

Daniel, love!

I'm coming!

Isn't all that energy just so... terrific?

Hi, boy.

Don't tell me you ain't got dressed all day?

I didn't have any clean clothes.

Or taken Riley for a walk.

I was going to, after lunch.

It's five o'clock! And what are you eating?

Is that ketchup?

Yeah, we've run out of everything else.

Will it kill ya to go to the shops?

I don't have any money, do I?

No clean clothes, no food, no money,

- oh, but plenty of excuses. - Just the facts.

Since you're so keen on facts, here are a few for you.

I've been at work all day, I come home to find you

still in your pajamas, the poor dog scratching at the door,

and instead of saying, "Hello, mum, how was your day,

would you like a cup of tea?"

you blame me for the fact you're too bloomin' lazy

to do a single thing for yourself.

Have you finished nagging, mother?

Do not talk to me like that.

Then don't be a bitch!

I don't want to be here, do I? I want to be in Florida,

where I'm supposed to be, with dad!

Morning!

I've had a wonderful idea.

You're going to look for a summer job.

Oh.

This morning you can work on your CV

and hand it out this afternoon.

- Okay. - I don't want any arguments,

I want you to get on and do it, please.

I said okay.

Oh. Good.

Have a nice day, love.

- Mr. Porter, isn't it? - Uh...

We met at Daniel's parency thing.

Yes, of course.

Bagnold, Daniel Bagnold, is my son... 10J.

Very nice to see you again... Daniel Bagnold's mum.

Sue. It always does that silly thing.

Maybe I ought to put it on back to front to start with,

then it might turn itself the right way around.

So, Sue, is Daniel enjoying his summer holidays?

Not really. He was meant to be visiting his father in Florida,

but let's just say Bob isn't the most reliable.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

It's pretty tough on Daniel.

Well, it's not easy on you either, I'd imagine.

Oh, well, we muddle through.

Oh, American history, is that your specialty?