Jamon Jamon (Jamón, Jamón)

Nobody will stop me! I'll be famous!

The world!

Unless your balls make you famous.

Come on, come on!

I won't tire of saying...

Who buys men's shorts? Women do.

And a good basket sells.

- Name? - Raul Gonzalez.

- Age? - 22.

What do you do?

I deliver hams, "The Conquerors" hams.

- Name? - Jose Gabrieles.

- Age? - 25 years old.

- What do you do? - I work in a fruit shop.

- Name? - Javier Lopez.

- Age? - 24.

Where do you work?

In the Silver Gym.

- Name? - Marc Damelsa.

Alright, you' re in charge of the campaign...

...but remember our criteria has lasted three generations.

The slogan "You've a Samson inside means everything to me". Don't forget it.

- Come on, Jose. - Alright.

- Bye, Mom. - Bye, darling.

- I'll see you at 4 p.m. - Alright.

Open up!

Silvia, open up!

Open up!

Dad! What's going on?

Go away.

Mom will be here any minute

Let me in.

I can't. Mom would kill me.

Please, Silvia, I'm cold. I need a drink!

Dad, I love you...

...but I can't do it.

What?

You get impossible and Mom gets very upset.

Let me in!

- Remember last time. - Open up!

Let me in!

I love you.

Let me in!

I told you never to come back here!

You drunk bastard!

You wanna hit me again?

Either you leave right now or I'll call the cops!

Who did you screw tonight?

You ask me who I fucked with?

You left your daughters and me without a cent!

Get it through your head! I care about them!

And now what?

You want to beat them up? Go on, kill them!

Shut up!

You bitch!

Mom.

You' re not in love with Dad, are you?

No, not any more.

But I have you.

- I love you. - Come on.

I'm sick of omelets.

If it weren't for my Mom, you could count me out.

For what we get...

Omelets interest you more than I do.

It's your fault, you make them so well.

This really sounds great.

Jesus, it's too much!

Silvia!

What happened?

You fainted. Did you hurt yourself?

I get dizzy lately.

What do you mean? Come here.

Come on.

I've missed two periods.

Are you pregnant?

I'm a mess.

Why didn't you tell me?

Not even my Mom knows.

What can I do?

- I could have an abortion. - What's that?

I don't want to be a bother.

I love you, Silvia.

You won't make omelets for anyone.

Just for me.

We' ll get married.

What about your folks?

I'm just an employee.

We' ll get married no matter what.

We' ll tell my parents tomorrow.

You' ll come to the party with me.

Can I eat your tit?

No

Hello?

Yes, Mom.

I'll be home for supper.

I can't speak now.

Bye.

My Mom.

How come you like eating my tits?

I like...

...the way they taste.

What do they taste like?

I don't know.

You' re sure they don't taste like a potato omelet?

That would be fantastic.

One would taste like an omelet...

...and the other, like ham.

Jose Luis.

When we have a house...

...can I have a closet just to keep shoes?

Pablito, stop it!

You' ll see how handsome you' ll look!

He asked me to marry him.

Come here, Pablito.

I've told you not to bring the pig inside.

- His name's Pablito! - Don't scratch!

- It itches a lot. - Don't scratch yourself!

I'll get you some cream.

And take Pablito out of here!

You wouldn't be pregnant?

- What's pregnant? - Being in love. Go on.

- When will I be pregnant? - The latest, the better.

I told you to be careful.

How far gone are you? Pregnant!

I won't have you going through what I did!

We' ll get married.

Jose Luis said so.

Don't get your hopes up, you know his mother.

He says we' re to stay for the party...

...after we deliver the omelets.

We' re getting married. You' ll see how far I'll get in life.

You? You' re your Dad's shadow.

- What did you say, bastard? - Everyone says so.

Now, don't get me upset. You know I've got a rotten temper.

Samson's got a teeny joy prong.

What will you have?

A gin & tonic.

I'm going to marry Silvia.

What's wrong? I thought you'd be glad.

What about your folks?

I don't give a damn.

If they get on my back, I'll leave and that's it.

Don't be silly.

What about your Mom? Don't you know her by now?

I don't care. Everybody thinks I can't do without them.

Well, I'm getting married.

I hope you' re right.

I sure would be happy for you to marry Silvia.

In that case, I don't want you around.

Come on.

The cash register is getting rusty.

Fun and money!

Show us the green stuff, big spenders!

I'm the eldest employee in this place.

Welcome to Samson's retirees party.

I get old just by thinking...

...how far gone are the days when I worked here.

Silvia, your mother-in-law's a battle-ax.

Shut up, they' ll hear you.

What's the big deal?

He's gonna introduce me to his parents.

It tastes awful.

Too much garlic. And so much salt too.

- Did your Mom like the omelet? - Of course she did.

Will she like me?

The paella turned out very well, didn't it?

Yes, lovely.

How do I look?

Mom, Silvia wants to say hello.

Mom, here's Silvia.

Why is your Dad with that whore?

- Who invited her? - I did.

- Why. - Because she's my mother.

Come on, Silvia, forget about my mother.

Not everyone's Mom is as good as yours.

Yeah, but they despise me because of my Mom.

When I was 13, she worked in a top-less bar.

The poor thing couldn't serve a drink. But she had to feed us.

At first, nobody bought omelets.

If Dad hadn't abandoned us, it would've been different.

My Mom is the way she is. I need time to tell her about us.

You' re still awake?

How often have I told you not to leave shoes around?

What is it?

Jose Luis hasn't told his folks about us.

If I don't marry him, I'll kill myself.

If you do, I'll kick you alive.

Go to sleep.

Good night.

- Mom. - What?

What?

I love you.

Honey...

You' re the best Mom in the world.

Gogh...

...nice doggie, nice.

Goddamn shoes!

My son will not go out with that girl.

Her mother's a whore!

You should know, you know her well enough!