Married

- Lina: You okay? - Russ: Yeah, I'm fine.

- Lina: Yeah? - Russ: Yeah.

Lina: I went to Bernie's. I thought maybe we could grab lunch or something.

- He said you went home sick. - Russ: Well, I am sick.

Sick of working at Bernie's.

Lina: I hope you feel better.

- Russ: Hey, look... - Lina: You know, I get sick of stuff, too.

- I'd love to take a sick day. - Russ: So... let's take one...

Together. Lina: Someone's got to pick up the kids.

Idiot.

S01E10 Family Day

- Russ (Sighs): Oh... (Jess giggles) - Jess (Sighs): I can't believe

- you haven't been by to see AJ yet. - Russ: I know, I know, I know.

How's he doing, how's rehab?

Jess: I don't know. I mean, he's AJ, so it is a process.

- So many cool addicts there. - Russ: "Cool addicts"?

Jess: You know me, I love that shit.

Russ: That's weird

- Jess: What's... your problem? - Russ: I'm just...

Lina and I have been fighting ever since they sold our house.

Jess: Oh, shit, they actually sold that place?

Russ: Yeah. To the Russians next door.

Now we're, like, struggling to find another place to rent.

Oh, God. Looking for places is the ultimate worst; She must be so stressed out, yeah.

She is, without a doubt, but I feel like this

is like... an opportunity, you know, to, like, change things.

Jess: Like... what?

Russ: Everything... all of it. I just... I want my life to feel more

like... (Stammers) I don't know. More adventurous.

I bought this book

about traveling the world with your family; Just picking up and,

like, leaving town for, like... Months, years at a time, you know?

Jess: Mm-hmm.

Russ: And I gave it to her just to see what she would say,

and she was like, "we should just table that."

Jess: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Well, uh... do you want to smoke weed?

Russ: I do, but we can't use the van again;

Lina's tired of explaining the smell to the kids.

Jess: Oh, my God, you're such a pussy.

- Maya: When is Jen coming? - Jen's not coming; We got a new sitter.

- Maya: How pretty is she? - Lina: Why does that matter?

- Maya: It matters to me. - Russ: It matters to both of us.

- Maya: Where are you guys going anyway? - Russ: Uh... we are going to

- visit Uncle AJ in the hospital. - Lina: He's not in the hospital.

Russ (Grunts): I...

Lina: He's in a resort for rich people who take too many drugs.

Maya: Why do people take drugs?

Russ: Well... uh... sometimes grown-ups need

to take something to help them forget that their lives

- didn't turn out the way they wanted. - Lina: Sometimes they just

don't want to face the reality that they're married with three kids.

- Maya: Wait, Uncle AJ has three kids? - Russ: No, your mom was talking about me.

Shepard: I just don't really understand why you can't do this by yourself.

Wh-why do I have to go?

Jess: Well, because AJ wants us both to be there for family day.

Shepard: Right, but we're not family.

Yeah, but it's really just an opportunity for him

to apologize to all of the different people that he's hurt.

Really? Where are they holding this thing, the colosseum?

Jess: You know, it's really one of my favorite parts of rehab,

because it's like when all of the different weirdos get to be like, "I'm sorry that I

stole your car..." Or, like, "I'm sorry that I shit in your fish tank..."

Shepard: Oh... I'm looking forward to this, now. (Jess sighs)

Jess: If... you give it a chance, you might actually like it.

- Shepard: You had me at "fish tank." - Jess: Okay.

- Russ: This is amazing. - Lina: Wow.

Russ: Wow, we would never be able to afford a rehab like this.

No, I mean, if one of us needed help, we would have to just stay on drugs.

Russ: Oh, did you get a chance to look at that I sent you?

Lina: Stuff?

Russ: Yeah, the link to the guy's blog? Or the book about the guy who

- travels the world...? - Lina: Yeah, I just have been really busy.

Russ: Okay. Never mind.

- Lina: AJ! H-hey...!

Russ: So, Jess says you've been doing really well.

Yeah? Did she tell you that she's been here every day?

- Russ: So? So, she's a rehab junkie.

She's addicted to coming to rehab. Ever since I checked in here,

- she's been obsessed with my recovery. - Russ: She cares about you, dude.

She's been sending uplifting texts to other patients.

- Russ: Oh, really? Yeah.

- Lina: I think I found our house. Oh, yeah?

Lina: Crap, except it only has one and a half bathrooms.

Which I just don't think is enough for five people.

How much are the neighbors paying you?

- Lina: For what? To move.

Lina: They have to pay us?

Well, they don't have to, but... you can make their lives miserable.

Lina: We can?

Do you know how hard it is to evict somebody in California?

If they want you gone, you kind of have them by the balls.

Oh, my God, here he is, this is my guy.

Dr. Fred, these are my very good friends, Lina, Russ, Russ, Lina.

Russ: Hi. Russ. Dr. Fred: Can I steal AJ for a second?

- Lina: Yeah, yeah. - Russ: Sure, yeah.

See you guys in a second.

Oh, my God, how great would it be if we could get

a little extra money for our move?

Maybe we could put it towards a bigger place.

Russ: Yeah, or a bigger move.

- Lina: A bigger move? - Russ: Costa Rica.

Lina: You want to move to Costa Rica?

- Russ: Why not? - Lina: Thewhole family?

Russ: Yes! What?

Jess: AJ! Hey, man, how's it going? Hey.

What are you doing here? - Jess: I'm here for family day.

Mm... I thought I told you not to come.

- Jess: Oh, I thought you were joking. I wasn't. You really piss me off.

Jess: Why, what did I do?

Every time you come here, you make it all about you.

Yesterday you spent an hour

talking to dawn about how your mother makes you feel guilty

about not being more religious.

- Jess: Yeah? Dawn was raped by her grandfather.

Jess: Well, we've all been abused.

Okay, look. - You know, like, everyone has their stuff.

This is my rehab, not yours. - All right, well, I'll go home then,

- if that's what you want. No, no, no, it's okay,

stay, just... be cool.

Jess: All right.

AJ (Laughs): Oh, man. (AJ sighs)

- Lina: Are you serious? - Russ: Yes.

Lina: You want to move the whole family to Costa Rica?

Russ: Yeah, I do. We get on a plane and we go down there

- and we stay with Kurt for a bit. - Lina: Who the hell is Kurt?

- The guy who writes the travel blog. - Lina: What travel blog?

Russ: The one that I sent you that you obviously, like, ignored.

No, I got the e-mail that you forwarded with the link, but I didn't open it.

Russ: Oh, that's awesome.

Just like you ignore every link to every house I need you to look at.

Because we shouldn't be looking at that stuff.

- I think you're losing your mind. - I'm not losing my mind.

Kurt is killing it down there.

He, like, opened a cafe. We could do the same thing...

we could open another surf shop.

Lina: Yeah, we could, and we could send the kids to school with chickens...

- Russ: Kurt homeschools his kids. - Lina: Homeschool?

- Russ: Yeah, taken care of. - Lina: Seriously?

- Russ: Yep. - Lina: I prefer the chickens.

Think about all the cool shit we would do.

I can think of you surfing, and me spending all day

- at home with all three kids. - Russ: No, you'd be teaching.

Jess: There's got to be more. Yes.

Grady's more of, like, a live-in-the-moment type of guy.

Shepard: Which one is grady?

Grady is the one who got so drunk that he jumped off the train

- while it was still moving. - No, I think that was Glenn.

Jess: No, Glenn is the man that set his neighbor's RV on fire.

Shepard: Okay, 'cause I get them confused.

Jess (Laughs): Yeah, I know. There are so many interesting people here.

Shepard: Okay, well, maybe if I set fire to something, I'd be interesting.

I don't want you to be interesting. I like you the way that you are.

Shepard: Mm. I'm, I'm gonna pretend like that was a compliment.

Jess: Itis a compliment. Shepard: I see.

- Hey. - Lina: Hey, guys.

Jess: Hi.

Do you know if there's a Wi-Fi signal anywhere?

Jess: I do. There's a really strong one at the juice bar.

Lina: Thank you.

My treat. They make the best smoothies.

Lina: I cannot believe how frustrating this is...

- there are no houses for rent. - Jess: Where are you looking, exactly?

Lina: Well, we're kind of between something in our current

school district or Costa Rica.

Jess: Why is that?

Lina: Russ. He's having another one of his freak-outs.

Jess: Hmm.

Can I say something?

Maybe it's not a freak-out. I just don't think that...

I don't think that Russ is happy.

Lina: You don't think my husband is happy?

Why? Did he tell you that when you guys were smoking weed in my van?

Jess (Sighs): He just said that you guys were in a rut.

Lina: Well, who gets to be happy all the time, Jess, you?

Jess: I don't know.

I try to have fun.

Well, I guess you're fun and I'm not.

- Lina, that's not... I'm not... - Forget it.

Shepard: Pretty swanky, huh?

Yeah. I'd say. You can see why Jess likes it here so much.

No, no, no, it's not the amenities.

It's she likes the damaged men.

It reminds her of her father.

Wait. Am I one of those damaged men?

Is that why she's friends with me?

Are you just figuring that out now?

Hey... are you serious about moving to Costa Rica?

Russ: Yeah. Very.

Shepard: Oh. I get it. I had a Costa Rica, too. Mine was Morocco.

- Never made it. - Russ: Don't you regret that?

Shepard: Went to Egypt once.

But do you think it's gonna be the best thing for the kids, truly?

Russ: Is it best for them that their father is miserable all the time?

Shepard: Works for us.

Lina: Okay, um, do you know

- when we're starting the therapy thing? - Russ: Uh, no, I don't. What's the rush?

Lina: 'Cause I found a house. It's great. It's in our budget,

it's in a great school district, and... guess what.

Russ: What?