Kevin Hart: The Kennedy Center Mark Twain Prize for American Humor

All right, Kevin, let's do this.

These relationships are genuine.

I'm very fortunate and lucky to have the ones that I have.

Money shot.

And to have them show up on a night like tonight is monumental.

Good shit, Robin. Good shit.

Oh, yeah!

It's time to get hot in here.

Y'all ready to get the party started?

With my boy Nelly!

Can't hear you.

Ladies.

And now... please welcome the recipient

of the 25th Mark Twain Prize for American Humor,

- my boy Kevin Hart. - Kevin Hart.

Thank you.

How you doing, kid?

You know I love you.

He made a movie about Pop-Tarts for some reason.

Please welcome Jerry Seinfeld.

Thank you.

One of the most important things in show business is doing favors.

What you're looking at right now...

is me doing a favor for Kevin Hart.

It's not that big a favor.

It's not a nothing favor either.

I wasn't on my way here anyway.

I was home, comfortable,

and now I'm here.

In a suit.

Do you think I'm doing this because I owe Kevin Hart a favor?

Or maybe I like the idea of Kevin Hart owing me a favor.

I'm not gonna tell you.

I can't think of much Kevin Hart could do for me. Can you?

I don't wanna be in Jumanji.

If you look at Kevin Hart's career,

it doesn't look like it was that hard to do.

All you gotta do is be Kevin Hart

and everything just falls into place after that.

How did he get that perfect name? Is that his real name?

It's unbelievable. The fit of that guy with that name, it's crazy.

First name's Kevin. Every Kevin is always a great guy. And then Hart.

He's the most likable human in world history

and his last name is Hart?

Come on. It's insane.

If he wanted to change his name for show business,

he'd have to make it "Kevin Irresistible."

I personally just absolutely love him.

I love everything he does. It's funny...

Yes.

Or there's action, or he's exercising.

It doesn't matter, because whatever it is, he's in it.

That's the best part.

You see the name Kevin Hart, and there he is,

right in that thing, and you go, "Yeah, I wanna watch that."

People go, "What are you watching?"

You go, "I don't know, but Kevin Hart is in it."

And that person sits down next to you and goes, "Okay, I wanna watch it too."

A few months ago, I saw Kevin speak to a huge roomful

of crazy zillionaire super-businessmen

at the JP Morgan Conference in Miami.

They just wanted to hear him talk about his business,

and they're already billionaires,

and they still wanted to find out, "How the hell are you doing this?"

I was there in the room. I wanted to know.

How the hell is he doing this?

I don't remember anything he said.

He's Kevin Hart. That's how he does it.

But Kevin was wearing this perfect, gorgeous dark suit,

and no socks.

This is the Chuck Yeager altitude and velocity he has reached.

His socks are just gone.

I don't know where they were.

Maybe he put the socks on in the morning,

but because his schedule is so packed, they couldn't stay on his feet.

It was too much. They just flew off.

I don't know, but, my God.

Who doesn't need socks?

I'll tell you who. Kevin Hart.

Or maybe, since he's got everything a human being could want or need,

he's getting rid of stuff everyone else needs

just to show his superiority in that too.

I don't know.

What I know is I'm excited to be here tonight,

doing a favor for this amazing man.

What else could I do for Kevin Hart?

What would Kevin Hart want to do that he has not already done?

The triumph of tonight

is we at least found something Kevin doesn't already have.

- The Mark Twain Prize. - Yes.

That's what's exciting about what's going to happen tonight.

It feels like we're finishing

a giant 1,000-piece Kevin Hart jigsaw puzzle.

He did 999 pieces,

and tonight we will all push in the last one,

and get to say "We did it. We finished Kevin Hart."

1,000 pieces in a box, tonight, a beautiful portrait.

- Congratulations, Kevin. - Thank you. I love you, Jerry.

I love you. Thank you.

Jerry Seinfeld. Wow.

That's a flex.

The fact that you and Jerry are here, that's a flex.

Jerry Seinfeld.

The fact that I'm here is a goddamn miracle.

You know what? I think what it is is we all show up for each other.

J.B. looks like the manager that's robbing us.

And comics are a unique breed of entertainer.

We're artists, but we also are the same as anyone else.

We show up based on our relationships with each other.

That's the life of a comic.

So when people show up for you, they show up for you for a reason.

This is a big deal. From the Comic Strip...

- Come on, man. Look at you. - To winning the... Look at you.

Give me a dollar.

The last time we all gathered like this, it was a funeral,

so I'm glad that everybody's alive this time.

I don't like going to funerals. It's not my thing.

Although it is the perfect place to get, you know,

hooked up with a little congalingus.

She's the reason I won't let my wife go on a girls' trip.

Tiffany Haddish.

What can I say about Kevin that the Internet hasn't already said?

He's a great father, he's comedically gifted, he's handsome.

All true, but boring.

All of you think you know Kevin because you follow him on IG,

or because of his movies.

But no one knows Kevin like I do.

I'm his comedic sister.

I get the hand-me-downs from all his specials.

This jacket right here?

This is from Kevin, okay? This is a hand-me-down.

Had to put some shoulder pads in it, femme it up. I femmed it up.

But I have the real tea, okay?

And I am 99.9% sure

that Kevin is really a leprechaun.

Okay? That's a leprechaun right there. You heard me.

He's a whimsical, mysterious trickster.

And that's why he's a leprechaun,

not because of his height, you low-hanging-fruit motherfuckers.

Kevin is magical. He knows stuff that he shouldn't know.

He tells me all types of stuff, okay, about my relationships that's private.

Private stuff.

This one time, okay? I had just started dating this guy.

I hadn't told anybody.

And Kevin jumps out of the bushes, out of nowhere,

and he goes, "This dude is trash. You can do better."

Then he clicked his heels and he ran off in his Nikes,

and I swear they had buckles on them. I don't know how he got Jordan to do it,

but he got Jordan to put buckles on his Nikes.

Then he opened a vegan restaurant.

And I don't know how he did it.

I don't know how he did it,

but he made grass taste like chicken.

Have you tried it? It is magically delicious.

And make it... Bah!

It's so good.

Kevin is mischievous too.

He would tease me all the time when I was a young comic. Ugh!

He knows how hard it is to make it as a stand-up.

And so when he finally started getting money,

he would dangle it, literally, in our faces.

He would hold money just over... Like, in our faces.

Remember when you did this to me, Kevin? Remember when you used to do that?

He'd be like, "If you can catch it, you can have it."

"If you can catch it, you can have it."

First it started out with $1. Then it went to $20, then $50.