Bad Sisters

Okay. Okay.

Oh, fuck.

Eva. Eva!

- Eva! - It's not my car!

Sorry.

It's not my car.

Ready?

I've changed my mind. I'm not ready.

To open it?

No. For what happens after.

Nothing's gonna happen, okay? We have it covered.

Are we sure?

Of course we're sure.

Are you counting yourself down from a hundred?

Can we please just get it done?

Grace. Grace!

Wake up, Grace!

I'm sorry. Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

Fine. I'll marry you.

It's not funny.

Since I'm the one getting choked, I decide what's funny.

Come here.

Oh, God.

Ach, your heart is going like the clappers.

Can I ask you something?

You ready to be my wife?

- Wow. - Ladies and gentlemen, she has boobs.

Oh, my God.

They look great.

Oh, my God, girl.

You're gorgeous. Look at this.

- Bride to be. - You don't have to wear that.

No, I want it.

Just promise me there won't be any strippers or dwarfs.

You can't say dwarfs, love.

Oh, sorry, sorry.

There'll be no little people taking off any clothes.

That's not true.

Put it away, Becka.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That used to be your job.

This used to be yours.

Yeah, well, luckily I don't miss it.

Samesies.

What can I say? We're all grown up now.

I'm stuck here now.

Stop.

What?

Waiting for something to go wrong.

I'm not.

I just don't know why she needed to get married again.

She's a different breed of woman to you.

She likes to play by the rules.

Yeah, I don't have a problem with the rules, just the rule-makers.

Right on. Fuck the system.

Forty-eight euro.

What?

Jesus. It's so easy for that bitch.

What, you wanna be chatting up little men?

No, I want little men chatting up me.

Go on Hinge.

I am on Hinge.

Don't pity me.

You know?

Hi.

- Hi. I found a jockey. - Are you busy? Busy, busy?

She has three kids. FYI.

That's not true.

One's an adult.

I don't give a shit.

I'm just gonna steal her away now if that's all right.

Mind your little noggin now, jumping all those tall fences.

It's the boots. Oh, my God.

We got the champers.

- He's so cute... - He was too small.

- House champagne. - So, what's the plan?

Out of funds, so out of fun.

What? Are we?

What the hell? Where'd you get that?

- I did a three-way on Cherry Pop. - It's called an each-way.

Whatever. I won 500 quid.

- Oh, my-- No. No, no, no. - Stop.

I think I changed my mind about the stripper.

I have the number. Let's do it.

- No penises. - I can call him now.

No, I'm not looking at any penises.

Who's your one?

That's Angelica.

- Is she Roger's girlfriend? - His sister.

You didn't answer my question.

Look.

Gracie, how are ya? Long time no see.

Hey, Roger. I'm grand.

Angelica.

It's so good to see you. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch.

Not at all. I'm just delighted to see you. You're looking so well.

Thanks. So are you.

I just poured myself into this this morning. I just poured.

You must remember my sisters.

- Yeah. Hi. How are you? - Hello.

Look at The Nolans, what?

And this one. The beauty of the family.

A little birdie tells me that you and Ian are getting married.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry, it was all a bit of a whirlwind.

So finally you put this fella out of his misery.

Oh, no.

He's always held a candle for her.

Angelica.

I'm only joking with you. Sure, we've given up on all that.

Did he tell you that cohabitants we are now?

As the final runners arrive...

Oh, God. Have you got the kitty, Rogey?

A wee tip for the next race, girls.

Yeah, yeah.

Hurry Stiles.

I'm just going to put a few quid on.

Delighted, thrilled to have just bumped into you, Gracie.

And you too.

And again, I'm sorry for not getting in touch.

Not at all, sure, why would ya?

Great to see ya, Sister Sledge.

God bless.

Sister Sledge?

You're moving out of your lovely cottage?

It's, you know, time to move on.

A lot of memories in that place and not enough good ones.

It is lovely to see ya.

- Hurry. - You should come to the wedding.

It's nothing fancy. It's just at Eva's.

- Oi. - Sorry.

I have to have a look at my diary.

Of course.

That's a joke. I don't have a diary.

Well, see you there.

You all set for shellfish?

We're shellfished up to our gees.

Just bring your lovely self, Roger.

- See you. - You too.

- Okay. Right. What'd she say? - Hurry Stiles.

- Hurry Stiles. - Hurry Stiles. I just got it.

- Hurry. Hurry. - Come on.

So the runners are now riding down towards the post,

and loading is almost ready to get underway for our future contest.

Come on guys. Put on each-way.

- Okay. Hurry Stiles. - Okay, 300, please,

- on Hurry Stiles-- - No. Wait.

- 350. - Put 350 on it.

Anyone else? What's your bet, sir?

I'll have 15 quid on Stiles.

Oh, my God!

If we win, it's over two grand.

Trouble on legs, them Garveys.

That's a good name for a horse.

Be a better name for a strip club, though, wouldn't it?

Watch your mouth.

And give me a note.

We're not in bloody Vegas.

Yeah, Justin, can I get a fiver there?

Now the runners are straightening up,

they've got just over two furlongs to race.

And as they do so, it's Mr. Elsom,

the first who leads them into the straight towards the outside.

You happy now you've seen her?

I think she was happy to see me too.

Wasn't she?

- Sure. - They're the leading trio

as they head now to make their way towards the final furlong.

Now Mr. Elsom and Calamity Casey are beginning to quicken...

Go on, boy.

Yes.

Go on, Stiles. Go on, Stiles.

Come on, Hurry Stiles! Come on!

Go on, lad. Push on. Push on.

There you go, lad. There you go.

Go on, Stiles!

That's it! Yes! My God, yes!

Hurry Stiles has won the Emerald Cup.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

How much did we win?

Did I not say?

Eamonn Doyle slowed me down talking shite. I didn't get the bet on.

What?

Oh, my God! We won!

We won!

- Did we? - We did. We won!

It's a bit more than sediment buildup.

Heave it.

- What is it? - Weighs a fecking ton, whatever it is.

Mam.

- What's in it? - What's that, darling?

What do you wanna do? Do you wanna open it?

Sure.

Oh, God Almighty.

Gust of wind came out of fecking nowhere.

That's some flyer, all right.

Did you check out that deejay I sent your way?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm not hiring a bald deejay.

No, thanks.