Ballers

Jesus, who's directing this, James Cameron?

A million dollars on a skateboard video?

I don't carry a budget around in my back pocket.

Okay.

I want Quincy to find a school that checks all the boxes.

I'm here, for you.

Talking, text, whatever you need.

-I may take you up on that. -(GLASSES CLINK)

Man, I appreciate you agreeing to come work out for me.

Don't look nervous, man. I got this, baby!

Seems like he may have lost a step, huh?

A step or two.

I'm not an employee. I built this company.

I work for me. I ain't changing, do you feel me?

-(BONES CRUNCHING) -Do you feel me?

-Yeah, ow. -You're fired, mate.

Spencer: Joe, I did what I did,

and I don't feel bad about it.

Joe: Oh, my God.

Can you just admit that maybe you were being

just a tad bit over-reactive?

What are you, crazy?

Lance is hardly the victim here, man.

Plus, you said it best yourself.

We can be whoever we wanna be.

- Oh. - So what do we need him for?

Yeah, well, maybe I was wrong.

Besides, he's just pullin' the same shit

we pulled at ASM-- wanting to do it his own way.

Ah, not quite, buddy.

He was effectively stealing money from us.

I suppose, but was it stealing,

or was it just overspending?

All right, come on. You know what? The debate is over.

What's done is done.

I know he was your boy, but he's gone.

Get over it and get in.

Joe: You put your trust in someone, you know?

You bank your career on it--

only to get kicked in the nuts with a pointed shoe.

It's so disappointing.

All right, he's fast and loose.

We don't need that shit in our lives.

Yeah, no, totally. So what do we do now?

Well, we stabilize our client list,

and we rally the troops.

Spencer: Jess, where is everyone?

This is everyone.

Everyone else went with Lance.

Where?

He started his own company.

Oh, fuck me!

Well, it was nice meeting you guys.

No, no, no, no--

You're not going anywhere. Hang tight.

I need you.

Yeah. Excuse us.

Is this a fuckin' joke?

It must be, because I am laughing

my little scrawny ass off.

Spencer: We bought the company and its assets from you, Lance,

so the ass you're laughing off is owned by us.

Oh, well, then you're gonna have to sue me, aren't you, Spencer?

I will bankrupt you, you piece of shit.

- Do you hear me? - Well, as I understand it,

possession is nine-tenths of the law, and currently,

I possess everything that you want to keep.

Spencer over phone: You have a non-compete, Lance.

Yeah, about that non-compete.

Why don't you say hello to Kelly Slater?

Hey, Spencer. I was gonna call you on the way over here.

What's up, my bald-headed brother?

- Talk to me. - I'm staying with Lance, man.

You know I'm loyal to a fault.

What happened to the kanikapila we just had on the beach

with our 'ohanas, what we talked about?

I don't let a good pig roast get in the way of business. Sorry, bud.

- I'm staying with Lance. - Fuck that motherfucker!

- He's a piece of shit! - No, no, no, Actually, fuck you, Spencer.

Now, the GOAT, or King Kelly as people

who actually know him call him,

and I are just gonna enjoy some post-wave good vibes

and talk about making a lot of money

while you do whatever you do as a hobby. Ta-ta.

Nobody fucking go anywhere.

We're going to fucking war.

Trainer: One, two... one, two, three.

Damn. You are one angry motherfucker today, Ricky. What's up?

He hits like he hates white people.

Nah, that ain't true, man. I love you, Randy.

Jay: I love you too, Randy.

One, two, three.

Thinking about un-retiring, though.

Worked for me a couple times.

Actually, it worked for you about six times.

Floyd, too. What's the problem, Ricky?

There you go.

Well, how'd you feel before you did?

Emotionally or physically?

Before you answer that,

let's consider the source over here.

He's always off emotionally.

I mean physically, man.

How'd you know whether you still had the gift?

You never really know

until you get punched in the face.

Are you joking, Randy?

- Do I look like I'm joking? - No.

Jay: Rick, you're too pretty to get punched in the face.

Shit. That ain't never stopped me before, Jay. Huh?

But you gotta really ask yourself,

what's your motivation?

Honestly, Ricky,

if your motivation is external-- money and cars--

you are done.

That's what you asked yourself?

Yeah.

That shit's deep, man.

I like that shit. Therapists ain't got shit on y'all, huh?

Y'all should put that in the class.

Oh, trust me. We work on this

more than we work on this.

Gonna be real with y'all, man,

I'd much rather be playing ball

than sittin' around in my Newport Beach mansion

waitin' to die.

How's that for motivation?

Let's get some more therapy.

Keep 'er goin'.

It's Strasmore.

Spencer Strasmore's my name.

Get me Tony Hawk.

Travis, I'm calling to tell you

we're making a couple changes at the head office.

Shit. I'm not-- I love Lance.

He's fucking insane. Sorry, Joe, I gotta jump.

I hope your fucking chute doesn't open, ya dickhead.

Chutes are for pussies.

Tony. Just calling to let you know

that we are no longer working with Lance.

Yo, Strasmore, hold your pitch.

I don't wanna put you out there

any more than you already are.

Lance is the one who gave me the idea

to do the video game in the first place.

I wasn't gonna call it "Tony Hawk's Pro Skater."

What the fuck were you gonna call it?

- "The Bird's Nest." - The Bird's Nest?

Aw, Tony. Jesus Christ.

Long story. Either way,

Lance has helped me build a lot of parks for a lot of kids,

so I gotta roll with the guy even though he is kinda douchey.

If things don't work out between you guys,

you know where to find me, OK? I'm always here.

Spencer, I've got Laird for you.

Laird, King of the seas. Listen, my man. So we're not gonna be--

Laird: It's too late. When I signed up with the company,

I signed up with Lance.

You know my dad always said to stick

with the wave that you rode in on.

That's what I try to teach my daughters, and, well,

I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't at least give Lance

the benefit of the doubt.

It's there's one thing I understand,

it's family tradition, all right?

You give my love to Gabby and take care of yourself.

- Where's Parker? - No answer.

Well, keep dialing.

It's going straight to voicemail.

- Think he's with Lance? - I have no idea.

Make a list of people who are staying and people who are going.

I think that's gonna be pretty easy.

Wait-- whoa. Are you jumping ship, too?

Well, that depends. Are you guys gonna promote me to manager?

Holy shit. Way to take advantage of us when we're down.

Jess, get the fuck out of these offices.

I'm only kidding. Take an empty office. Congrats.

Great. I'll make sure we take care of the phones

so people know we haven't gone out of business.

We are never out of the fight, Jess, right?

The fuck happened to the TVs?

They've gone dark.

Where's the control booth?

It's right next door.

Let me know when you get ahold of Parker.

Respect.

All right, bitches. Let's get to work.

Major Teague! How's your sunburn?

The sun didn't fuck me half as bad as you did, motherfucker.