Drugstore Cowboy

I was once a shameless, full-time dope fiend.

Yeah, me - Bob. The sweet mother's son.

Me and my crew robbed drugstores.

I had done 'em all, up and down the Pacific Northwest,

with pharmacies open or closed.

It didn't matter. Except for technique.

But don't get the idea it was easy.

It's hard being a dope fiend. And it's even harder running a crew.

Dianne was my wife.

I loved her. Man, did she love dope.

So we made a good couple.

Whenever I got out of the joint I always ended up with Dianne.

Rick was my sidekick. My muscle.

He was no novice to the life of crime.

His record showed a steady climb from juvenile offender to small-time thief.

He was gonna do just fine.

Nadine was Rick's old lady. A counter girl he picked up during one of our jobs.

She was a piece of work.

She had no record. Just a smile that caught us all a little off guard.

I was the undisputed leader then.

I carried the whole goddamn outfit on my back like it was my own newborn son.

But I guess, deep down,

I knew we could never win.

We played a game we couldn't win...

to the utmost.

Good morning. I like your hat.

- Do you have wintergreen gum? - I don't think we carry that.

Hey!

Hey! Come out here! This lady's having a fit! Hey!

Come on, she's bouncing all over the place!

Come on!

I think she might swallow her tongue.

Look at that. She's turning blue!

Excuse me. Are you too busy to take some money for cough syrup?

Just a minute, ma'am.

Wait a minute, man. She's foaming here.

I need an ambulance. A woman is having an epileptic seizure.

- So how'd we do? - So-so.

Are you sure you're OK?

Hey! Let's go. Come on.

Hurry up.

- I told you to walk, not crawl. - You said walk and that's what we did.

Yeah, I said walk, but I didn't mean to go window-shopping.

Goddamnit, Bob.

Why do you gotta fix in the car? Can't you wait till we get home?

Shut up and watch your drivin'.

Christ. Look at this traffic up here. Shit.

We gotta get home. Idiot, move over!

After any kind of drug haul, everyone in the crew indulged.

I laughed to myself as I pictured blues or Dilaudid in such great amounts

that the spoon would literally be overflowing.

Upon entering my vein the drug would start a warm itch

that would surge along until the brain consumed it in a gentle explosion

that began in the back of the neck and rose rapidly

until I felt such pleasure that the world sympathised

and took on a soft and lofty appeal.

Everything was grand then.

Your worst enemy, he wasn't so bad.

The ants in the grass, they were just, you know, doin' their thing.

Everything took on the rosy hue of unlimited success.

You could do no wrong. And as long as it lasted, life... was beautiful.

Goddamnit.

Oh, screw you, buddy. Move over.

Where'd you get your goddamn licence?

Shithead!

All right, now, everybody just act cool. Like we just got back from church.

Has anybody seen my lighter?

So, I was working for this guy out in Valdez.

And I had this great idea to...

You just put shit on it, and water.

- Nadine? - Give me the same as Rick, I guess.

I don't think so.

- Why not? - You can't shoot no goddamn blue.

Give her half of one, Bob. That'll keep her in the crapper all afternoon.

Goddamnit. I was in there just like you. I ought to get the same as everyone else,

even if I can't shoot it all right now.

That ain't the way things work around here, Nadine. I mean, you don't do shit.

It's me that's taking the big risk.

What about Dianne? She didn't do anything either.

Really?

That what you think? Don't give her a goddamn thing, Bob.

Kick her out in the street where we found her.

No, no. Fair is fair.

You want your fourth. You got it, Nadine.

But I ain't takin' on no apprentices and givin' 'em a full end of my thing.

You take it...

and you get out.

Nadine, just take your half of blue, shoot it, and go puke awhile.

Sh.

Everybody just act cool. Nadine, pick up... Come on! Pick up the drugs.

Rick, get your gun. Get in the bedroom. Back me up.

It's David. It's just David. David, what do you want?

I just want to see you for a minute. Let me in.

- You alone? - Yes.

Did you think I brought my rat-faced granny along to hold my hand?

David, you're an asshole.

What the hell, pard? Have you finally gone completely crazy or something?

What the fuck do you want?

- What are you holdin'? - I ain't holdin' diddly, small fry.

I was just thinking about going by your place to see if you had any speed.

Yeah, well, I got some speed.

Really? Come on inside. You little fucker.

Aw, come on, Rick.

All right, you say you got speed? What kind of speed?

I got crystal Methedrine. This shit is good, man.

I've been up all night on the stuff.

Here, man. Try one on the house.

How much of this shit you got on you right now?

I got 10 grams.

Let me talk to Dianne. Why don't you sit back and watch a little TV?

All right.

Baby? This kid out here says he's got speed.

What do you want speed for? You know how ringy it makes you.

I know. But listen. What night is it tonight? It's Saturday night, right?

Let's get some speed. We'll fix up, then we'll go hit that big fat pharmacy.

You know the one. Right next to the unemployment office.

Baby, you know how these things go. It's like a crap game.

When you're hot, you shoot the works. When you're cold, you lay off a bit.

Well, right now, baby, I'm so hot, I'm burnin' up all over.

All right, buster.

If you're so damn hot, why don't you lay me down right now and make love to me?

- Come on. You know what I mean. - Yeah, I know what you mean.

So, did you watch I Spy last night?

No, I watched Outer Limits.

I'm hot to steal. Shoot, we could do that any time. Come on.

Besides, we got company.

So, do you think you could get me a TV?

- Yeah, I could. - Colour?

Yeah, but what could you do for me, man?

How about some Valium, man? You look like you could use it.

- Ten milligrams. 60 Valium. - That's cool.

Well, listen.

Don't tell Bob.

I won't tell Bob. Fuck that guy.

Hey, twerpy. We're gonna fix you up now.

You guys got any blues?

Blues? Me? Hell, no. You know how hard it is to get blues these days, David.

How about some morphine? I got good old morphine.

What'd you get, man? Morphine sulphate?

You're crazy, man, cos I can't even read a stop sign when I'm on that crap.

My eyes get so far out of focus.

Besides, I'm not trading no uptown crank for no downtown trash.

What can I say? That's all I got. That's all I can give.

That's bullshit, man.

You guys think I'm dumb. I'm not as dumb as you think I am.

Hey, David? Too bad we couldn't do business, pal.

All right, man. Fuck. I'm sorry, OK?

- I didn't mean any of that. - It's OK. It's all right.

So how many quarter grains of that morphine are you gonna give me for this?

I'll hit you with nine quarters per package, and that's just cos I'm feeling good.

And because you're a real stand-up dude, I'll take all ten grams from you.

Ten grams? All right. That's nine apiece. Nine times ten is, uh...

It's, uh, 75.

Yeah, 75. Right.

It's 90, Bob.

Yeah, Bob. That's 90.

Hey, Bob, how much do you want for her? How much of this for her?

Huh?

How much of this do you want for the foxy female?

Hey. What do you think I am? Some kind of closet pimp?

I've never heard of such a violation of woman's rights in all my life.

Just out of curiosity, how many bags of speed would you give me for this girl?

I, uh... I don't know.

You twerp! You touch me and I'll knock your block off.

She's mean, man.

All right, all right. Let's finish this deal.

- Sorry. - Pick up your stuff, David, and go.

We've got some things to do.

All right. Sorry, Dianne. Here, Bob.

Yeah.

- All right, man. - All right. Thanks.

All right. You guys have a good evening.

Next time you step in the middle of one of my deals to help me with my arithmetic,

I'll sell you to the first one-eyed carnival freak I find for a pack of chewing gum.

Look at me, babe. I'm hysterical.

Sorry, Bob.

Just try to remember. Was it a round collar, a scoop neck, or what?

It was a blouse. A blouse.

Um...

I really don't remember.

Dianne, are you goin' crazy or something?

Dianne, what the fuck are you doin'?

What are you on? Glue or something? Dianne, look. We ought to be out workin'.

I know this hospital on the coast. I know it's a virgin. I know it is.

I mean, this place has got security zero.

I bet they got coke, mammy. All those hospitals, they always hold big-time coke.

You're crazy, Bob. We just pulled off the best score we make in months

and off you trot looking for more.

Man, you don't know when to take a break.

Come on, Bob.

You know me. I can't stand to go on for ever like this.

Come on. Why don't you take me in the bedroom and just hold me for a while?

What do you want me to hold you for? Look, Dianne, we ought to be out crackin'.

- I thought you loved me. - Why don't we just...

But you won't fuck me and I always have to drive.

Look, why don't we just, uh, uh, head up to that hospital right now

and see if we can make it there before it gets daylight?

I mean, babe, you're just gonna flip out when you see this one, man.

I mean...

I can just see all those bottles of pills that hospital's holding for me right now.