The Suite Life on Deck

Hey, Cody, you headin' to the kitchen.

To coax Woody out of the walk-in freezer?

No, after Woody's last raid,

Moseby secured it with an industrial padlock...

- Mmm. - ...And laser motion sensors...

- Hmm. - ...And a polar bear.

I'm flying to Antarctica,

Then snowmobiling to ice station zulu.

To work with renowned micropaleontologist.

Dr. Albert cork.

The man who discovered the wooly amoeba?

Yeah, and three new stages of frostbite.

This is a rare opportunity to visit one of the last parts of the planet.

That hasn't been trampled by the destructive forces of man.

Tom.

Speaking of the destructive forces of man.

What are you guys doing?

Goin' snowmobiling with ya.

I'm not going snowmobiling.

I'm going to study microopic prehistoric organisms.

That have survived extinction through natural cryogenics.

At a remote research facility only accessible by snowmobile.

All I heard was "blah blah blah snowmobile."

And I'm here 'cause I looked at a map of Antarctica.

Check it out... the South Sandwich Islands.

I've got my mayonnaise,

And I'm ready to do a little research of my own.

Woody, you know, the South Sandwich Islands.

Are not giant floating sandwiches.

They're an archipelago of 11 volcanic islands.

Named after the first lord of the admiralty,

The Earl of sandwich.

All I heard was "blah blah blah sandwich."

Wow! New jacket?

I mean, it's still heinous, but at least you're tryin'.

Actually, I've worn this before,

Your royal heinous.

You just don't recognize it

'cause it's reversible.

Yeah, I wish my eyes were reversible.

So I didn't have to look at that thing.

I mean, why don't you wear something nice for once, like Arturo vitali?

Did someone say my name?

Arturo! Arturo vitali!

Do you know who this is?

I'm gonna go with Arturo vitali.

This is the world's greatest fashion designer.

You probably haven't heard of him

'cause he's not in the plus-size market but, you know, that's fine.

London, it is wonderful to see you again.

Are you going to introduce me to your friend?

Friend? Oh, what friend? Did one of my friends come to visit?

Hi, I'm Bailey pickett.

Ow! Oh, that's some grip you have.

I'm glad I'm not a cow you're milkin'.

I was wondering why this season's outfits hadn't arrived.

You must be he to personally deliver your spring collection to me.

Oh, I'm afraid not. I'm out of the fashion business.

- What?! - Yes, I'm blissfully retired.

I've hung up my needle and thread.

And I'm never designing again.

No!

- No! - Oh, what a drama queen.

I asked for crushed ice, not cubed!

How am I supposed to drink this?

My life is a disaster!

Don't touch me.

It's hard to steer this thing.

Cody, scoot back.

How?

This is not safe!

This snowmobile was meant for two people,

Not two people, one Woody and a giant jar of mayonnaise.

Oh, that's better.

Much more comfortable.

Come on, London, you've got to be able to wear.

Some other designer than Arturo vitali.

What about...

"lewis vitten"?

Huh?

How about... how about coco "channel"?

And then there's "gucki."

Wow.

This must be what it's like talking to me.

About everything else.

What's so special about Arturo vitali?

Well, I grew up with a father who was never around.

And 14...

15 different stepmoms.

Arturo vitali is the only one who's always there for me.

Well, other than that short guy who's my Butler.

- You mean Mr. Moseby? - Yeah, him.

And now he's the only one left.

What am I gonna do?

As a baby, I wore an Arturo vitali diaper,

And I definitely did not wear those twice.

Good to know.

I even ordered an Arturo vitali coffin.

Oh, thank goodness!

I found a receipt for that,

And was worried you were planning somethin' for me.

That snowmobiling was sick!

- I've never had more fun. - I know.

I hate you both.

Wow, I didn't know you we able to talk.

Without your magic top hat.

Hello!

I told you girls to leave me alone!

I don't want to buy any more of your lousy cookies.

Cody, I think he's talkin' to you.

Dr. Cork, we're not selling cookies.

I'm Cody Martin. It is a pleasure to meet you, sir.

Oh, most of the fingers.

On my shaking hand fell off years ago.

Excuse me, Dr. Cork,

How do you get to the South sandwich islands from here?

You know they're not giant floating sandwiches, right?

He won't believe it till he sees it.

I'm just so glad you guys are here.

I rarely get the chance to entertain.

Well, there was one lonely night with a leopard seal,

But I don't like to talk about it.

Oh!

- Oh! - Oh, hello, London.

Are you here for some tai chi?

No, no thanks. I already ate.

I'm here to beg you to not give up on designing.

Oh, I'm sorry, London, but I love being retired.

This is my chance to escape the high stress.

Of the fashion world and just...

Relax.

Oh! Watch it, you clumsy bag of dust!

The move is called "white crane spreads wings,"

Not "wrinkled Turkey has a spasm."

Oh!

Hey, I designed that purse,

Or at least the one they based this knock-off on.

Okay okay okay okay.

Look, Arturo,

Will you please design for me?

Please please please please please please please please!

Oh, stop it, stop it, stop it!

I didn't want to retire. Why would I give up.

Beautiful models in lingerie.

For crusty hags in diapers?

Oh!

Hey, why don't you hop on your scooter.

And take that knock-off back to the swap meet?

Why... if you didn't want to retire, then why did you?

I had no choice.

After a lifetime of designing cutting-edge fashion,

The genius factory has been shut down and converted to loft space.

Wait wait, Arturo!

I mean, what are you talking about?

I just can't think of another thing to design.

Do you know what it's like to not have a single idea in your head?

Huh?

Look who I'm talking to.

Who?

If you enjoyed my paper on the wooly amoeba,

Check this out.

Is that a saber-toothed paramecium?

Yup. I call him Butch.

And I call this boring.

I'm trying to get him to reproduce.

Ooh, and suddenly it gets interesting!

There's really nothing to see.

Some organisms reproduce without the need for a mate.

Good news for you, Cody!

I might be an Uncle yet.

I'm starving.

I want to take the snowmobile to the sandwich islands.

You guys came here by snowmobile?

Except for the last 80 miles,

When I came by face.

I think I still have snow in my sinuses.

You know, you can warm your schnozz over by the heater.

It's pretty cozy over there.

Oh, all right.

Dr. Cork?

Oh, he's taking our snowmobile!

He's leaving us!

Wow, that thing really flies when it's not dragging a body.

I can't believe Dr. Kook abandoned us here.

And it looked like there was a storm comin' in.

I'm sure he'll be right back.

Are you kidding?

He's been living in an ice cave for a year.

With only tiny invisible animals to keep him company.

See, he was just waiting for suckers like us to come by.

To give him a way to escape!

Whoa. Whoa.

Now let's not panic.

This is a well-equipped outpost.

I'm sure there are some supplies to keep us going.

Hey, I found a satellite phone.

Oh-ho, great. Okay, now all we need to do is find a takeout menu.

You kuys want pizza, or chinese?

Or we can use it to call for help.

I think we can decide on pizza or chinese without help.