The Proposal

Shit!

Andrew, hey.

Here you go. Your regular lattes.

Literally saved my life. Thank you. Thank you.

- Everyone OK? - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Me too.

Hello, Frank? How's my favorite writer?

Of course you've been thinking about our talk

because you know I'm right.

Frank, people in this country are busy, broke,

and they hate to read. They need someone they can trust to say,

"Hey! Don't watch CSI: Indianapolis tonight.

"Read a book! Read Frank's book." And that person is Oprah.

- Cuttin' it close. - One of those mornings.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

- - Sweet...

- Uh, sorry. - Jesus!

- - Rub some dirt on it, brother.

Frank, the truth is all A-plus novelists do publicity.

Roth, McCourt, Russo, and...

Frank! Can I tell you what else they have in common? A Pulitzer.

I need the shirt off your back. Literally.

- You're kidding, right? - Yankees, Boston, this Tuesday,

two company seats for your shirt. You have five seconds to decide.

Five, four, three, two, one.

- - I know...

- Shh! - Later.

- - Uh-oh.

- -

Uh, hello. Hello?

Morning, boss. You have a conference call in 30 minutes.

Yes. About the marketing of the spring books. I know.

Staff meeting at 9:00.

Did you call, um... What's her name?

The one with the ugly hands.

- Janet. - Yes, Janet.

Yes. I did call her. I told her that

if she doesn't get her manuscript in on time

you won't give her a release date. Your immigration lawyer called.

He said it's imperative...

Cancel the call, push the meeting to tomorrow

and keep the lawyer on the sheets.

Oh, and get a hold of PR,

have them start drafting a press release.

Frank is doing Oprah.

Wow. Nicely done.

If I want your praise, I will ask for it.

Um...

Who is, uh, who is Jillian?

And why does she want me to call her?

Well, that was originally my cup.

And I'm drinking your coffee why?

Because your coffee spilled.

So, you drink unsweetened cinnamon light soy lattes?

I do. It's like Christmas in a cup.

Is that a coincidence?

- Incredibly, it is. -

I mean I wouldn't possibly drink the same coffee that you drink

just in case yours spilled.

That would be pathetic.

Morning. Miss Tate's office.

Hey, Bob.

Actually, we're headed to your office right now. Yeah.

Why are we headed to Bob's office?

- -

- -

Oop!

Have you finished the manuscript I gave you?

Uh, I read a few pages. I wasn't that impressed.

- Can I say something? - No.

I've read thousands of manuscripts,

and this is the only one I've given you.

There's an incredible novel in there.

The kind of novel you used to publish.

Uh, wrong. And I do think you order the same coffee as I do

just in case you spill, which is, in fact, pathetic.

- Or impressive. - I'd be impressed

if you didn't spill in the first place.

Now remember, you're just a prop in here.

- Won't say a word. -

Ah! Our fearless leader and her liege. Please, do come in.

Oh. Beautiful breakfront. Is it new?

It is English Regency Egyptian Revival, built in the 1800s

but, yes, it is new to my office.

Witty.

Bob, I'm letting you go.

Pardon?

I asked you over a dozen times to get Frank to do Oprah, and you didn't do it.

You're fired.

I have told you that is impossible.

Frank hasn't done an interview in 20 years.

Well that is interesting, because I just

got off the phone with him, and he is in.

Excuse me?

You didn't even call him, did you?

- But... - I know, I know.

Frank can be a little scary to deal with. For you.

Now, I will give you two months to find another job.

And then you can tell everyone you resigned, OK?

What's his twenty?

He's moving. He has crazy eyes.

Don't do it, Bob. Don't do it.

- You poisonous bitch! -

You can't fire me!

You don't think I see what you're doing here?

Sandbagging me on this Oprah thing

just so that you can look good to the board?

Because you are threatened by me!

- And you are a monster. - Bob, stop.

Just because you have no semblance of a life

outside of this office,

you think that you can treat all of us

like your own personal slaves.

You know what? I feel sorry for you.

Because you know what you're gonna have on your deathbed?

Nothing and no one.

Listen carefully, Bob.

I didn't fire you because I feel threatened. No.

I fired you because you're lazy, entitled, incompetent

and you spend more time cheating on your wife

than you do in your office.

And if you say another word,

Andrew here is gonna have you thrown out on your ass, OK?

Another word and you're going out of here

with an armed escort.

Andrew will film it with his little camera phone

and he will put it on that Internet site.

- What was it? - YouTube?

Exactly. Is that what you want?

Didn't think so. I have work to do.

Have security take his breakfront out of his office

and put it in my conference room.

Will do.

And I need you around this weekend

to help review his files and his manuscript.

- This weekend? - You have a problem with that?

No. I... just my grandmother's 90th birthday,

so I was gonna go home and...

it's fine. I'll cancel it.

You're actually saving me from a weekend of misery anyway,

so it's... good talk, yeah.

I know, I know. OK, tell Gammy I'm sorry. OK? What...

Mom. What do you want me to tell you?

She's making me work the weekend.

No, I'm not... no.

Listen, I've worked too hard for this promotion

to throw it all away, OK?

I'm sure that Dad is pissed,

but we take all of our submissions around here very seriously.

We'll get back to you as soon as we can.

- Was that your family? - Yes.

- They tell you to quit? - Every single day.

Miss Tate's office.

Oh... Yeah. OK. All right.

Bergen and Malloy want to see you upstairs immediately.

OK. Come get me in ten minutes. We've got a lot to do.

Okey-doke.

Good morning, Miss Tate.

Jack, Edwin.

Margaret, congratulations on the Oprah thing.

- That's terrific news. - Thank you, thank you.

This isn't about my second raise, is it? Just kidding.

Margaret, do you remember when we agreed

that you wouldn't go to the Frankfurt Book Fair

because you weren't allowed out of the country

while your visa application was being processed?

Yes. I do.

And... you went to Frankfurt.

Yes, I did. We were going to lose DeLillo to Viking.

So... really didn't have a choice, did I?

It seems that the United States Government

doesn't care much who publishes Don DeLillo.

We, uh, just spoke to your immigration attorney.

Great. So, we're all good? Everything good?

Margaret, your visa application has been denied.

- - And you are being deported.

Deported?

And apparently there was also some paperwork

that you didn't fill out in time.

Come on. Come on! It's not like I'm even an immigrant!

I'm from Canada, for Christ's sake.

There's gotta be... there's gotta be something we can do.

We can reapply, but unfortunately

you have to leave the country for at least a year.

OK. OK, well, that's not ideal, but, uh..,

I can, uh... I can manage everything from Toronto...

No, Margaret.

With videoconferencing and Internet.

Unfortunately, Margaret,

if you're deported, you can't work for an American company.

Until this is resolved I'm going to turn operations over

to Bob Spaulding.

Bob Spaulding? The guy I just fired?

We need an editor in chief.

He is the only person in the building who has enough experience.

- You cannot be serious. I beg of you. - Margaret.

We are desperate to have you stay.

If there was any way, any way at all

that we could make this work, we'd be doing it.

- - There is no way...