Bookie

(grunts) Get in there. Don't be bashful.

Come on. Dig.

Sorry, fellas. You were saying?

So, yeah, we're, uh, hoping

to expand our operation

up into the, uh, Santa Barbara area.

Which would, uh, involve additional personnel,

office space, et cetera.

And at the moment, we're not very liquid,

so we're looking for a short-term loan.

Give me a number.

Uh, two.

Hundred? - Mil.

Ooh.

That's sphincter money.

Uh, time-out, Olga.

Let me, uh...

dab my brow.

We-we know it's an ask, uh, but it's short-term,

and we're happily willing to pay over prime.

Oh. Well, now I'm insulted.

- Why? What? - What kind of man lends money

to his friends and charges interest?

I'll tell you. A schmegegge.

That's Yiddish for "schmuck,"

which is Yiddish for "dick."

- Good to know. - We were just trying

to show you a little respect.

Olga, can you give us a minute?

Spasiba.

Believe it or not, she represented

Russia in the Olympics.

Men's hockey?

Danny, don't punch down.

All right, here's the deal.

Let's-let's forget about this loan nonsense.

Let's call the two million what it really is:

an investment.

- In what? - In your operation.

Whoa, whoa.

You want a piece of our book?

- Not a lot. - How much?

Mm...

fifty...

- one percent. - What? - What?

You said you wanted to show me respect. That'll do it.

Yeah, but you'll be majority owner. Then we work for you.

And what's wrong with that? I'm a nice person.

Well, nobody's saying you're not. It's just,

uh, we're used to running our own shop.

Your shop? What are you, a cobbler?

Look at this from 30,000 feet up, guys.

We'd be creating a super book

that extends from the onion fields of Oxnard

all the way to the meth labs of Calexico.

When can you get us the cash?

All right! That's more like it.

Can I write you a check?

: I'm kidding. God.

Wh-What's the point of being criminals

if we forget how to laugh?

- (intercom buzzes) - Hello!

Yeah, we're on the second floor, Walt.

Hey, is my car okay in the parking lot?

- It's fine. - There's a man

- in a tent. - Oh, yeah.

That's Old Jimmy. He's okay.

Can you vouch for the invisible person Old Jimmy is

- talking to? - Oh, fuck, just come up.

- (door buzzes) - Did he say why he was here?

I assume it's to check out his investment.

I already hate this, and it hasn't even started.

Oh, just keep your powder dry and be polite.

Somewhere down the road, we'll figure out

a way to fuck him in the ass.

Hey! There he is.

Boys.

My man! (chuckles)

Right.

So...

This is HQ, huh?

Yeah. This is it.

Yeah. The word "squalor" comes to mind.

Ah, we try and keep a low profile.

Mission accomplished.

Come here. Show you how this works.

Yeah.

What do we got here?

These are the accounts.

And these are the line moves.

And over here is this week's handle.

What's your operating system?

- You don't know? - Ray?

I don't know. Ask your sister.

Oh, sweet Jesus.

I own 51% of a lemonade stand.

Well, a lemonade stand that doesn't pay taxes.

Look, if you don't like the way we do business,

then we'll gladly give you back your $2 million.

Great. Please give it back.

I'll call Lorraine, ask her what the operating system is.

- It's probably Window something. - Ah.

Yo! Big D!

Carl?

- What are you doing? - What's it look like?

- Taking out the garbage. - I don't understand.

I'm your new neighbor.

You bought the place?

I stole the place.

Furnished. Mint condition.

I just had to re-carpet

where the former homeowner blew her brains out.

- I'm living next to a cop? - Whoa.

When I'm home, I'm not Detective Lurtsema.

I'm just Carl.

You being a small-time criminal

shouldn't stop either of us from borrowing a Weedwacker.

Carl?

Hey, baby. Over here.

Who's that?

My new bride.

You come eat dinner.

Yeah, hold on.

This is Danny, our neighbor.

Danny, this is Sunny.

No, you don't have to bow.

Especially to this monkey.

- Ah. No bow. - (chuckles)

Believe it or not,

I financed the house,

but I own her outright.

Whoa.

- That's something. - I figure

I'm oh-for-three marrying American.

So for number four, I wanted hot and cold running gratitude.

See? The smile, the nod...

that's all a man wants.

Oh, I'm happy for you.

- Welcome to the neighborhood. - Yeah.

We're having a little housewarming barbecue on Sunday.

It'd be great if you and the family could join us.

Great. Uh, we'll try.

It'll be mainly cops, but a lot of them are

degenerate gamblers, so you'll be very popular.

Terrific.

All right. See you then.

'Kay.

He's a dirtbag, but he's my dirtbag.

Yeah? (chuckles): Oh, how I love that.

Come on.

- (door closes) - (TV playing quietly)

You know about Carl?

Oh, yeah.

Didn't think to mention it to me?

No.

A dirty cop buys the house next door...

by the way, thank you for that, Wendy.

Oh, move on.

I liked Nathan and Helen.

They gave us lemons from their tree.

Well, the next time the Blacks riot,

you'll be thanking me, because your cop neighbor

will be in the front yard with a 12-gauge shotgun.

That's terrible.

You're what's wrong with this county.

Mom, you're in L.A. now.

You can't ascribe rioting to one race.

We all riot.

Oh. Yeah. Sorry.

I forgot about that time the Swedes went crazy

and we were all trying to hide under the bed.

You know,

Carl's wife doesn't undermine him.

She smiles, she nods, she even bows.

The only time you bow is when I drop money on the floor.

Fuck off.

Oh, fuck.

Rewind. He talked through the whole program.

Cabbage?

- (chuckles) You smell it? - Out in the driveway.

And, Grandma, you know you don't have to cook.

We can just order in.

- You don't like my cooking? - Oh, I love it.

I just don't want you to feel like you have to.

Cooking's the only time my mind is quiet.

- Don't take it away from me. - All right.

You sleeping any better?

No.

I keep having bad dreams about Frank.

- What about him? - It's hard to explain.

It's like he's trying to come to me but he can't.

Huh.