Scrubs

- Just let it go? - No.

Why wouldn't I wanna go to the symphony?

- I didn't mean anything by it. - You meant something.

- We've got to do something. - No, we really don't.

Carla's your girlfriend, Elliot's my friend...

Trust me. Don't get involved.

She's from el barrio, she must not like music.

- Classical music isn't for everyone. - So, I didn't have a nanny...

You got something to say?

I think you're being condescending and you're being overly sensitive.

Excuse me for a second, just one second.

She's from el barrio, she won't like music.

- Classical music isn't for everyone. - So, I didn't have a nanny...

You got something to say?

Nope. Not this time.

I think you're being condescending and you're being overly sensitive.

Dammit!

Here's something surprising.

On my first day, my resident told me,

if you don't count the maternity ward, which is mostly well, you know,

or the emergency room,

which is mostly broken bones, stitches, that sort of thing,

he said that one out of every three patients

that's admitted to this place will die here.

Hi, I'm gonna be your doctor.

I'm the doctor.

I'm the doctor.

- What are you, 16? - Unacceptable.

Did you have coupons for this hospital?

That's enough!

Sure, he's young but he's probably a very good doctor.

- Are you a good doctor? - Kinda too soon to tell.

Honesty, I like that.

You probably want these people to wait outside.

That'd be nice.

Make 'em know you're a man, not a boy.

Would you guys mind...

- I'm fine where I am, thank you. - Make me.

Do it.

Everybody outta here, now!

- No need to wake up the dead. - Jeez, snippy.

- Now! - That was manly.

That's what I'm talking about.

- Want a hard candy? - Yes, please.

I'd say this is a simple laparoscopic hernia repair.

This is embarrassing, you guys are wearing the same outfit.

Don't sweat it. I'm not wearing pants.

Come on, that was funny.

Great. Moving on.

Where you going? ESPN Classic's showing the '82 NFC championship.

We could have some nurses over.

I called down and requested a Spanish-speaking nurse.

No English, huh?

I'm a chunky monkey from funky town.

- I'll have trouble translating that. - Oh, good. It's you.

I admitted this really neat old lady today.

Neat?

Dude, the 1930s called and they want their lingo back.

We had this connection, you know?

No, I don't know. Now please, let me get my sweat on.

Surgeons generally don't like to get too close to patients.

Maybe it makes it harder to cut someone open, or too risky.

I feel like you're missing out. This Mrs Tanner,

she's got this incredible energy and warmth.

The League of Women Voters called

wanting to know where to send your membership.

You use that ''somebody called'' joke a lot.

I can't help it. I got a hernia patient to take care of.

- What's his name? - His name's Hernia Patient.

But we've gotten close so I call him Hernia.

He must feel so safe and taken care of.

Shut up.

I paged Dr Cox and he should be here any second.

What did she say?

She says it's amazing your fancy school didn't teach you Spanish,

considering a third of patients speak it.

Like every doctor here speaks Spanish!

What now, Dr Barbie?

Mrs Guerrero is a lupus patient with shortage of breath

so I started her on a heparin drip.

- I wanted to run that by you. - One.

Two.

- Three. - So, shall I...

It's really important you let me get to ten.

- I just thought... - Listen, cookie.

You've been here over a month. This is Medicine 101.

I don't want everything run by me.

I don't wanna give my two cents but if you do want my opinion,

rest assured it will always be that you're an incredible pain

and every time I see your Kewpie-Doll face

it just makes me want to pick you up and shake you

until all the hours of my life that you've wasted

fall out.

- Now laugh. - What?

Laugh so that she doesn't think I'm yelling at you.

How fun was that?

Just initial.

Dr Kelso. I wonder if you could give me your opinion on a patient?

She's a 74-year-old renal failure, Mrs Tanner.

Of course. One of our frequent flyers.

- She's a neat lady. - That's what I said.

Nobody likes a brown nose, son. Let me see that chart.

Why?

- You put her on diuretics? - Yeah, I ordered them.

These labs don't look good. It's time she got started on dialysis.

You know what you should do first, kiddo?

- What's that? - Find her.

Freedom!

''Went to the park.'' She...

She went to the park.

It's the Catch. I say ''Catch,'' no response.

How can no one know what the Catch is?

Niners-Cowboys. Joe Montana to Dwight Clark,

deep in the end zone, zero time left.

Don't insult me.

It's the fourth quarter. Got a minute?

- Sure. - Cool.

- David, right? I'm Turk. - What's up?

- Want some IV? - No, I'm good.

- Mrs Tanner. - Here's the party.

I don't know about others,

but under my care, you stay in hospital until I say it's OK to leave.

We saved you a plate.

I don't care about food right now.

Are those smores?

It's Samantha's fifth birthday. You're not gonna make me miss this?

Couldn't you have got her a big cake?

I'm gonna order an ABG just to be safe.

- Don't you think? - That's probably a good idea.

Teach me to tell her she's doing fine.

Say...

Mrs Guerrero?

It worked!

Listen, the important thing to remember is this won't hurt as much as you think.

I'm ready.

You know what, Mrs Tanner...

Just until Samantha blows out her candles.

What are you gonna wish for?

- A bike? - Nope.

- A doll house? - Nope.

How about the ability to make quick decisions?

- Nope. - How about this?

- A pony? - No!

Enough. I don't think you realise how serious this is.

We need to be worried about your mother.

Your grandmother, your...

I'm sorry, we haven't met. I'm Dr Dorian.

- You're very cute. - Thank you. Come on, let's go.

- Candles are still lit. - OK.

Here we go. Blow!

I increased the heparin to 1,500 units per hour.

Does that sound like enough?

Should be.

Speaking of heparin, have you slept with Turk yet?

- What?! - I'm sorry.