Death in Paradise

Oh, boy.

Found it!

Excuse me? Wait.

Oh, the hat. Of course.

Thank you.

Looks good, huh? Yes.

Well, is this the business, or what?

You actually look quite sexy as Santa.

Hmm, so I should hope, Mrs Claus.

Ooh, Santa!

Now, do you fancy a little ride on my sleigh?

All right, cheers, babe. Yeah.

Yeah, so, this is the actual outfit that I wore in the Christmas video.

I mean, most people didn't know who I was.

It were just a bit of a cameo for a laugh, you know?

So does it bother you it never got to number one back in the day?

No chance.

I made shed-loads out of writing that song.

I mean, it's the Christmas gift that keeps on giving.

I mean, it were never really about the charts or the record sales.

The biggest buzz I get is hearing it being played over the radio

every Christmas, or over the supermarket tannoy,

or some bloke banging it out on a karaoke. You know what I mean?

He has really made an effort with his outfit.

Oh, Stuart is nothing if not committed.

At least he's not out of tune like others I could mention!

Can you send me the sales figures for the last quarter, please?

How you doing, Mrs Hammond?

You fancy having a go?

Oh, not sure it's quite my scene.

Still working? You're supposed to be on holiday!

What about a rum punch to loosen you up, huh?

Or... maybe I'll just leave you to it?

Right, that's my cue for bed.

Yeah, Caz, I swear, he's sound asleep.

In bed eight o'clock on the dot, just like you said.

Excuse me, you haven't seen a small boy - brown hair, freckles,

was playing with some other kids, have you?

Yeah, I think they're down on the beach.

Yeah, Caz, I promise you, I have not lost our son.

Caz?

Caz?

Ollie, are you down there, mate?

Dad?

It's bedtime. The other kids are staying up.

Yeah, well, their parents haven't got

your mum on their back, have they? Please let me stay up.

Look, you don't want to blow it with Santa

after you've been so good this year, right?

Come on, let's go.

Yeah? Yes, Caz.

Yeah, I promise he'll be in bed within five minutes.

Give it up for Stuart, everyone!

Hey, hey, hey - Father Christmas himself!

Ho-ho-ho! Woo!

There is still time for you to get your name down if you want to sing,

but right now we're going to do Christmas Caribbean style!

Yay!

Oh, my gosh, you were so good! You were brilliant!

I'm sweating buckets in this. I might go and get changed.

I told you you'd be too hot, you big idiot.

Hey, you can't call Father Christmas an idiot!

Cheers, guys!

Hey, let me know about the transmission, yeah?

Hi there. Excuse me? Mm?

I think there's a dead man on the beach.

Sarge...

..we've got a body at the Paradise Bay Hotel.

All right, Darlene, I'm on my way.

Commissioner. You've heard?

Yes.

I thought we could head over there together.

How are we going to do this, sir...

..without a replacement for DI Parker yet?

There's no local senior detective available,

so I put in a call to London

requesting a DI be sent over as soon as possible.

OK. Thank you.

Did they tell you how long it will take for someone to get here?

No. What with the Christmas holidays upon us, it won't be any time soon.

So, what do we have?

The victim is Stuart Fullwell,

here on a Christmas break with his fiancee.

He got dressed up to go to the bar for a drink last night.

Half past nine, he headed back to his bedroom to get changed.

Wasn't seen again until his body was spotted by one of the other guests.

Ah, excuse me.

OK. Commissioner Patterson speaking.

Commissioner Patterson, it's Marcus from resources and staffing.

Some good news for you. We checked our records

and it turns out we already have a detective out there.

Here? On the island?

On Saint Marie.

Yeah, I'm at the airport now.

If I can actually get out of the taxi.

Listen, mate, I don't want to say it's been the holiday from hell,

but it's not far off.

No, no, the...

No, the people are nice enough,

but it's like everything moves at half the normal speed.

Seriously, it's like stepping back in time.

'Scuse me.

The important thing is I managed to change my flight.

Yeah.

Of course it cost me extra,

but worth it if it gets me out of here, right?

Hello?

Great.

You still there?

Yeah, that's the other thing - the signal out here's terrible.

God knows how they manage.

Listen, I'm calling the guv the second I land, mate,

let him know I'm returning early.

Hang on, mate.

That's funny, that's him calling now.

Listen, let's grab a beer when I get back, all right?

Yeah, see you.

Guv, I was just talking about you.

Yeah, yeah, I am in Saint Marie now, but I'm...

Me?

Listen, guv, I would love to,

but the thing is, I'm actually leaving early.

Can't someone else do it?

But I'm actually on the plane right now.

It's literally about to take off.

Come on, guv, you're not seriously going to make me

get off the plane now, are you?

Yeah, no, it's all good, guv.

Like you said, hopefully it'll be done and dusted

and I'll be home in no time.

OK.

Unbelievable.

Come on, Ollie, don't be shy. Tell them what you saw.

So you're a sheriff?

Me? No, I work for the local council.

Oh! Oh, sorry, him! Yes, yes.

He's, er... He loves cowboys, all that stuff.

We're kind of like sheriffs.

See?

And you want to help the good guys, right?

You were asleep, weren't you, bud?

Yeah. There was a bang outside, like a gun,

so I went onto the balcony.

I saw this man. He looked hurt.

He fell back, didn't move again.

And was anyone else there?

Someone ran away, but I couldn't see who it was,

so I went downstairs to the reception.

I think there's a dead man on the beach.

Do we know what time this was?

Darlene checked the security camera footage,

and it was 17 minutes past 10 when Ollie appeared.

It only takes a couple of minutes to get to reception.

That means the shooting must have happened about 10:15.

Miss Reed, can you think of any reason as to why someone

would want to do this to your fiance?

No.

We've only been here for a few days. We don't know anyone.

Excuse me.

Hi. Um, I didn't want to say anything in there,

because it might be nothing, but it's about Miss Reed.

Yesterday afternoon I overheard her on the phone to her friend.

I don't know what to do, Ali.

Yeah, but I just... I just want it all to go away.

She was in a state.

What am I going to do?

Saying she didn't want to be with her fiance any more,

but she didn't know how to end it.

I just thought I should mention it.

Thank you.

Shall I go speak with her, sir?

Officer Curtis?

Commissioner, we've had another murder called in.

Only, the thing is, this one is also dressed as Santa Claus.

Yeah. Yeah, I know I checked out this morning,

but now I need my room back again.

Yeah, well, believe me,

we all get thrown curve balls from time to time.

But, look, listen, you've got my number, yeah?

Well, just call me or text me if there's a problem, OK?

OK, thank you. Thank you.

Commissioner Peterson.

Patterson. Patterson?

Yeah. Oh. Must have misheard.

The signal round here is well dodgy.

This is Detective Sergeant Naomi Thomas.

Inspector.

There isn't anywhere round here I can get a takeaway coffee, is there?

Actually, you know what? Forget that. Stupid question.

Um, let's go and see this dead Santa of yours, yeah?

Right.

Well, this is a first.

And the other guy, the other Santa, he was shot as well?

Both in the chest.

We've asked the lab to prioritise comparing both bullets