Home Improvement

- Hi, guys. - Hi, Mom.

- Hi, Mom. - Hi, Mom.

l picked up my suit for the wedding. Now l have to figure out what you guys will wear.

We'd be wearing a big smile if we didn't have to go.

l'm the only sister who can come. We have to represent the Patterson girls.

A lifelong dream of mine.

- Oh, come on. lt's gonna be fun. - lt's gonna be torture.

We'll be near one of the best water-skiing lakes,

and we'll be stuck with our boring relatives the whole time.

My relatives aren't boring!

They're odd.

But that's what makes them fun.

What sounds like more fun?

Water skiing or watching Aunt Edna take out her teeth?

They're both fun.

lf we can fit in any vacation while we're up in Traverse City, great.

But your father and l agreed that this trip is about my cousin's wedding.

Hey! Hey, guys!

- All right! - Cool Boogie Boards!

- What is all that? - Stuff l borrowed for the wedding.

And do you plan to use the Boogie Board for the ceremony or the reception?

l'll just wait to see what everyone else is doing.

Wow! This is gonna be a really cool wedding.

Not only that, Al's going up to Wilson's cabin.

He's gonna fly-fish. We can join them. lf there's time, water skiing and off-roading.

- Rad! - Cool! Offroading would be awesome.

There's not gonna be any time for all that. Here, guys. You do this.

How long does a wedding take? lt's ''l do,'' ''l do,'' cut the cake, we're on the lake.

There's not just the wedding.

We got the family barbecue, rehearsal dinner, rehearsal.

And don't forget Aunt Edna's surprise birthday brunch.

l'm not gonna miss any of the family events.

l am really looking forward to Carol and Tom's wedding.

Lisa and Jeff.

l'm looking forward to their wedding, too.

Tim. do you have to drive so fast?

I just want to make sure I don't miss one minute of that arrival dinner

Yeah. right What activity are you trying to sueeze in before the dinner?

- Water-skiing? - Absolutely not

We're going fly-fishing

- Oh, isn't this cute? - lt's real cute. Yeah.

- Look. They gave us fruit. - Cute fruit.

Boys, your room is through here. Hurry up.

That last pit stop of your mom's cost us, like, 1 2 minutes.

Excuse me. l just didn't feel comfortable using a coffee can at 55 miles per hour.

That's too bad. That's one of the perks of driving by car.

l'll try to remember that next time.

- You don't want to go fly-fishing with us? - l gotta work on that poem for the wedding.

All right.

- Tim? - Huh?

Hi!

- lt's great to see you again. - lt is.

- You don't know who l am, do you? - No, l don't.

l'm Bonnie, Jill's second cousin.

Uncle Tubby's daughter?

Oh, yeah.

Gosh, how is Uncle Tubby doing?

He's been dead for ten years.

So he's doing the same then, isn't he?

Right. Anyway, some good news.

l just put together an early arrival cocktail party.

- Doesn't that sound like just too much fun? - Oh, way too much!

- l don't think we can make it. - Hi.

- Jill! - We'll be there.

Great. lt's at five o'clock. l'll see you there.

- OK - Five o'clock?

Boys, hurry up. We only have an hour and a half to go fly-fishing,

thanks to Cousin Chubby.

- Ah, Wilson, this is the life, huh? - Mm-hmm.

- Guys communing with nature. - Mm-hmm.

Getting away from the city...

and the clutches of a suffocating, domineering mother

who won't allow her son to grow up!

Let it go, Al. Forget Mother.

lmmerse yourself in the tranquility of the river.

You're right, Wilson. lt's so peaceful out here.

Why spoil it?

All right, all right! Hey!

We're finally here!

All right, boys. Fish fast. We got 53 minutes, all right?

Look, it's Al Al Bean.

What's the deal with these fish? We haven't had a single bite.

Dad, we've only been here seven minutes.

Hey, Wilson. Can you show us how to do that forward cast?

Certainly, lad.

You hold your rod at one o'clock, you end up at ten o'clock.

Dad, he said ten o'clock.

l didn't know he meant ten o'clock Eastern time.

Well, l see you're as adept at fly-fishing as you were at ice fishing.

l'll bet you 20 bucks l can catch more fish than you.

- You're on. - Tim, Al, we're not here to compete.

We're here to achieve a higher consciousness.

He's right, Tim. By creating a competition, we insult the spirit of the river.

l'm so sorry, river.

But you can help me out by burping up a couple of them fish, OK?

Even accomplished fishermen can spend hours out here and not catch anything.

Hey, guys, l got one!

Hi. Hey.

lt's good to see you all. We did a little fly-fishing today.

And, boy, did we catch a lot of flies!

Here we are, just like l promised, with 30 seconds to spare.

You should've taken that 30 seconds to shower.

Excuse me. Aunt Edna, good to see you.

All right.

Don't hit me.

- Stop. Tell her to stop hitting me. - You're gonna hurt her.

Tim, why are you getting up so early? Come back to bed.

l got a lot of fun stuff to squeeze in today, and l can't waste time in bed with you.

)

''To my cousin Lisa on her wedding day...''

- Hey, Jill, l... - Wait. Shh.

''As the gentle wind kisses the morning dew...''

''Everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you.''

l'm just trying to help.

''To my cousin Lisa on her wedding day...''

Don't do it! Don't do it! Don't do it! Don't do it!

What are the boys doing?

They're getting their suits on. We're going water-skiing.

- You're going skiing now? - Yeah.

The wedding's not for four hours. Finish your poetry and we'll be back in time.

Oh, l am so sick of working on this poem.

l spent the last two hours trying to come up with a rhyme for ''matrimony.''

lt's easy - ''schmatrimony.''

Thanks! Why didn't l think of that?

lf you're bored with this, come with us for a bit.

l'll let you drive the boat, you'll get a little color.

lt sure would be fun to go out with you guys for a while.

- OK, l'll do it! - All right!

l borrowed my buddy Tony's boat. lt's got that inboard big block V-8.

Tony's boat. That's the one with the roller rockers and the supercharged 454?

How did you know that?