Then Came You

Dear Mr. Awd, I read with interest

the online description and pictures of Awd's Inn

and found it very appealing.

I am planning a trip to visit Scotland

and I would very much like to reserve one room

for nine days.

Those dates to be advised.

Sincerely, Annabelle Wilson.

Dear Ms. Wilson,

I am delighted to receive

and confirm your reservation

for the dates you request.

I'm sure you will find our elegant, historic inn

to be all we represented on our website.

I will be at the train station to meet you personally

and to transport you to Awd's Inn.

Please give me a brief description of yourself

so I can identify you easily in the crowd.

Or if you prefer, a recent photo.

Thank you, Mr. Awd.

Well, I have no recent photos,

but I am a woman of a, um, certain age

who's blonde, 5 foot 6

and, um... completely ordinary...

in every way.

You told me over and over again

that we would always have each other.

But you were wrong about that, weren't you?

I love you, Fred.

And I always will.

But I gotta make new memories

or the old ones are gonna kill me.

And I'm not ready to die.

Not yet.

- How many would you like? - Two, please.

Hello.

- Hey, How. - Gavin.

What are you doin' here?

I'm waitin' for the guest.

- The guest? - The guest.

- What are you doing here? - Uh, waitin' on the wife.

She was visiting her widowed sister in Glasgow.

Remember, the one I was tellin' you about?

- She's in a hospital, you know? - Hm.

After her husband died by accidentally dropping

his electric razor into the bathtub.

Fried every hair of his sorry arse.

Can there be a worse way to go?

No. Tell me about it.

I had to clean up the plumbin' afterwards. Phooey.

Oh, oh, there's one here. See you later.

See you, Gavin.

Mr. Awd?

- Ms. Wilson! - Yes, hi!

- Hello, welcome. - Oh, hello.

- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too.

Thank you for meeting my train. It's been a long trip.

Well, we at Awd's Inn, uh, pride ourselves

in our impeccable service and hospitality.

- Good. Good. - Yeah.

Then I'll be a excellent customer.

- Good, good. - Okay.

- Is this it? - Uh, y-yeah.

This is my only suitcase, um...

My zipper's broken.

Ah. I think there's some pills for that, now?

- Excuse me? - Em...

Just a bit of Scottish humor.

- No offense. - None taken.

- Okay. - Yeah, it's very, very light.

There's really nothing in it but this little costume I found.

And then I'm going to buy all new everythings.

Okay.

And then I'm gonna go to Italy

and I'm gonna buy a brand-new one

'cause that's the next place on my list.

- Oh, you've got a list. - I do. I have a great list.

- And by the way, your railroads? - Yes?

- Are really lovely. - They're not mine.

- I gathered they were not yours. - But, thanks.

But I, I mean, they're comfortable

and they're, it's just really clean.

I don't know why I did expect it, like, filthy.

What, you thought Scotland would've dirty trains?

No, I was just... Scotland's so old.

So I just figured the trains would be old.

Trains were invented at the same time

everywhere around the world.

- Oh, it's so beautiful. - Yep.

How far is it to the inn?

Uh, not far. You know, just a short drive.

Well, uh, a lot of it depends

on what you think's short and long.

- We drive for the wheel is. - Oh, oh.

Gotta get used to that.

- Yup, there you go. - Okay.

I smell gas.

We call it petrol here and it's, uh,

it's the reason I'm puttin' this on.

- It's, um, it's flame retardant. - What?

It happens... And put your coat on or something, just in case.

I mean, you're fine.

This isn't flame retardant.

Well, it'll keep you warm goin' through the glens,

and that's important. It's...

We're not gonna go on fire or anything.

It's just, you can never be too careful.

You put that on every time you drive your car?

No, not every time. When it's raining, I don't wear it.

But when it's raining, don't you put the top on?

No, I go fast and then the rain can't reach me.

Oh, I see, I see. You're messing with me.

You're messing with the stupid American lady...

I am not messing with you.

Freshly in Scotland.

Okay. I'm on to you now.

- Okay. - I'm on to you.

- You all right? - I'm so cozy.

Have you got your seatbelt on?

- That's a joke because? - Yeah.

- There's no seatbelt. - No seatbelt.

There you are.

Oh, look at this.

Oh, wow.

I'm expecting a very important letter.

Does the mail arrive here every day?

Yes, it arrives daily like it does

in every modern country, in a nice clean train.

I've never seen so many sheep.

Yup. There are over seven million sheep in Scotland.

Only five million people.

I prefer the sheep.

You're kidding, right?

Nope.

Is this your first time in Scotland?

My first time anywhere, really.

I've never seen anything, except through the movies.

And by the time I'm done with this trip,

I'll have seen the whole world.

Oh, I love that song. It's so catchy.

I don't like that song.

It's all they play.

I have a joke.

There's a doctor and he's worried about, uh,

having sex with his patients.

Then a voice in his head says,

"Don't worry, a lot of doctors

have sex with their patients."

And then another voice in his head says,

"Yes, but they're probably not veterinarians." Heh!

It's a wee bit of Scottish humor there.

It's not for everybody. Just like haggis.

Uh, I think it's the, uh, it's the fan belt

or the alternator now.

It's neither one. It's neither one.

- You're out of gas. - We call it petrol.

Well, whatever you call it, you're out of it.

How far is this inn?

It's not far, just down the road...

I-I'm gonna walk. Okay? I-I..

- Oh, no. No. - Yeah, I'm gonna walk.

Uh, look, um, you can't walk on that road.

You'll need something on your feet. Here.

- I'll be fine. - No, no, no. Take these.

Put these on.

You have women's boots in your trunk?

Uh, we call it a boot.

You have women's boots in your boot?

- I do. Do you want them or not? - Fine. Thank you.

Just follow the road.

Hi, Gavin. It's me.

Yeah. Um, I think I've run out of petrol.

Oh, there is? Well, why didn't you say that then?

Could it be the alternator maybe or the fan belt?

All right. Yup. Fine, thanks. Okay, bye.

- Uh! Jeez. -

Don't worry about Wally. He's very friendly.

Just let him sniff you. Any part.