Adulthood

(ON TV) Oh, that was...

(ON TV) You know how little actual nutrients

are in a normal salad?

(ON TV) I'm prepared to be shocked! No.

(ON TV) Oh, oh, prepare to be very shocked!

Normally I never use something like this.

This looks like a meal replacement,

and that's not my thing, sorry.

But, this...

this isn't a meal replacement, is it?

Well, I mean, yes and no,

-and that's... Can you do Wednesday?

She's getting her hair done on Tuesday.

Okay, I'm dying to know more.

No, it can't be next Tuesday.

-(WATER RUNNING) -(CROCKERY CLINKING)

(SIGHS) No, she needs to do it

before she sees the doctor.

Yeah... Can you... Can you do 11:00 a.m.?

I mean, how many people are going to physical therapy?

Jesus Christ.

I don't understand what the hell is so complicated for you.

-Jesus Christ. Yeah. -(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)

I know she's old. I know she's old,

but she has a jam-packed schedule,

-I don't know. -(CROW CAWING IN DISTANCE)

Okay...

-(MUSIC CHIMING) -(CLOWN LAUGHING)

-(JUDY GRUNTS) -Okay.

Jesus Christ. Okay, that's all.

Okay, yeah. Thanks so much, Cindy.

Yeah, we'll see you on Wednesday.

Judy, breakfast!

Judy?

-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -Excuse me. When can we see her?

-(MUSIC CONCLUDES) -We'll let you know.

(FEMALE VOICE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA)

The doctor said worse than last time.

Her speech might never come back.

Damn. Now, who's gonna tell me I'm wasting my life?

Noah.

I'm sure nobody wants to hear this, but...

I think it's pretty clear

that Judy's probably not coming home.

Jesus, Diego.

She had a stroke yesterday, she's not a goldfish.

Well, yeah. I'm just saying we gotta start thinking

about money and insurance and long-term care.

We should probably start thinking

-about selling the house. -You know what, um,

I think I may have seen a real estate agent

with cancer in the ICU, I could...

I'm right about this. Meg, am I right about this?

Stop. Stop, both of you. Please.

Everett, what's Cayden's number?

One-twenty.

Okay. Diego, can you take the kids home, please?

-This is scary for them. -Yeah, they look...

they look like they're really freaking out.

Kids. Let's grab our stuff, let's go. Say bye to Mom.

Bye, Mom. Bye.

Thank you, Brianna.

-(EXHALES SHARPLY) -You tired?

No, I'm fine. I slept on the plane.

Do you remember when I had pneumonia?

I... I don't remember it, I was like, four.

I had 105 fever.

Mom had to beg Dad to take me to the ER.

Doctor said that if we'd waited another 24 hours,

I would've died.

That's a little dramatic.

That's what they said, Meg.

To his credit... Dad felt bad about it.

He bought me a book on tanks, very on brand for him.

She got in the bed with me, told me she loved me.

Told me everything was gonna be okay.

It's gonna be okay.

Just felt...

Felt safe.

I was really safe.

We're gonna have to make all the hard decisions from now on.

Ah. (SNIFFLES) All right, I'm gonna go grab my bag.

I'll see you outside.

Jesus Christ.

It's exactly the same.

How long are you staying?

I don't know, I was thinking about

maybe heading back Tuesday.

Thinking about heading back Tuesday,

don't you have a plane ticket already?

I bought a one-way.

You know, I wasn't sure if anybody would need me

to stay longer.

Obviously, there's nothing more I can do,

so I'll probably head back Tuesday.

Let me drive.

Are you effing kidding me?

Come on, Meg. She's not gonna drive again.

Camry's just gonna sit there until it rusts out.

What happened to Dad's car?

It's 12 years old, you know?

I have street parking, it's falling apart.

Wow. You're really living the dream out there.

Holy shit.

-Is that Doug Metzger? Yeah.

Lives in a group home around here somewhere.

Wow. Still just...

wandering the streets in the days.

That's tragic.

Welcome home!

-(GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) -(BIRDS CHIRPING)

What a mess.

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

-I am gonna crash. -(CHUCKLES) Okay.

I am. I'm gonna go to bed.

You're gonna smoke pot and watch porn.

No. That's... no.

No, I'm gonna...

I'm gonna answer emails and watch Netflix now.

Why, what are you doing, what are you doing now?

-You's gonna stay? -I'm gonna look around.

You gonna do that now?

You're gonna do... you're doing that right now?

Okay.

Wow.

Wow. I don't think I've been down here in like a decade.

-You smell mold? -Yeah, I do.

Fuck, it is damp down here.

-What is that? -What?

What is that? Why is there water on the floor? What the fuck!

Are you fucking kidding me?

Everyone of my fucking possessions is w...

No! Oh, God, no. No, no! No! No!

My fucking Pokémon cards,

these are worth thousands of fucking dollars!

Dehumidifier's broken.

Jesus Christ. No. -(WATER TRICKLING)

Come on, man. Come on! Oh, great, my books are soaked.

This is fucking great.

All I need is a hot lamp and a hair dryer,

and I can fucking keep reading them.

-(OBJECTS CLATTERING) -Goddammit!

My fucking original Frank Miller,

are you kidding me? Fucking A!

I knew I should've... I should've shipped

all this shit to LA years ago. Can you come help me, maybe?

Meg?

What is it?

What is that, why?

Jesus Christ, what is that smell?

The fuck is that?

Oh! -(OMINOUS STING)

It's been there this whole time.

From 1996, '97?

-(GULPS) -(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)

God, I remember that tracksuit.

The... The whole neighborhood was looking for Mrs. Metzger.

And... And Mom and Dad packed us up,

and put us in the car, and drove us

to Grandma Christman's house for a week.

And when we came back, the paneling was up,

and our stuff was on the shelves.

Is this why they never went anywhere?

Is this why we couldn't get a dog?

I mean, Dad threw himself into work,

and Mom got old before her time.

You weren't here, but... (SIGHS)

After Dad died, she was basically a shut-in.

She wouldn't even go see Aunt Helen in Utica,

she must've been worried that something might happen.

-And somebody would... -Find the body.

-(INHALES DEEPLY) -(TRAIN HORN HONKING IN DISTANCE)

Jesus Christ.

How could our parents act like nothing ever happened?

That's worse than the killing.

I mean, it's... it's not, but still.

They called it the playroom. "Go play, kids!"

"Hey, let us know if you smell anything weird down there."

I had movie nights, parties in that basement.

Do you know how many hours of PlayStation

I played on that couch?

I lost my virginity on that couch.

-Our parents are murderers. -No. No, we don't know that.

Dad didn't accidentally wallop Patti fucking Metzger

in her basement, Meg.

Okay, maybe they killed her, accidentally.

May-- maybe she fell.

Maybe Dick Metzger killed her, like everybody thought,

-and they just covered it up-- -Mm. You know what, we could, um,

we could go ask Dick Metzger, except...

...that's right, he drank himself to death

because some fucking kids thought

he killed their fucking mom.

We have to call the police.

What, yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, we should, but...