Reboot - First Season

You're a writer, aren't you?

Yeah. How'd you know?

Writers don't have to get all done up for meetings.

Not like actresses.

You guys can wear anything.

- Thank you? - Mm-hm.

- Hannah, we're ready for you. - Great, coming.

- Oh, um. - What?

- You... - Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

Um... can you help me?

So, my team tells me you've done some really original stuff in the indie space.

Uh, thank you. I try.

Well, we're definitely on the lookout for breakthrough shows,

the edgier the better.

So, what do ya got?

I wanna reboot the old sitcom Step Right Up!

Step Right... Are you serious?

Dead serious.

And I wanna do it with the original cast.

Am I... thinking of the right one?

- Can somebody pull up a clip? - Oh, yeah.

Got it!

Hey, how was the skate park?

Great! Dad taught me how to do a kick flip.

Oh, I can teach anyone how to skateboard.

Oy.

Well, almost anyone.

Oh, Lawrence, honey, what happened?

Well, I, I wanted to make a good impression on my new stepson.

And instead, he made it on the concrete.

Now I remember.

My kids used to love that show.

Your kids are great.

Sir, it does surprisingly well on our platform-

- with Family, Pop Culture, Vicarious-Living,

and Live-To-Laugh audience segments.

Average viewing time, 63 minutes.

Are we sure that's not just people leaving it on for their dogs?

No, we track that.

Elaine just joined the creative team from research.

I, I gotta say, it seems like an odd choice from someone so edgy.

Y-You are the edgy one, right? Or is that my 11:15?

No, no, she's the one who did that movie at South by Southwest I told you about.

- What was it called? - Thank you, um, for having seen it.

It's called Cunt Saw.

Oh boy. Then I'm a little bit confused.

Why do you wanna do something so traditional?

Uh, yeah, um, god, it's hard to explain.

Okay, you know how in the old sitcom, the characters always did the right thing?

Mm-hm.

They don't do the right thing anymore.

- Oh. - You know, like, I fuck with it.

- But in a fun way. - Mm-hm.

I don't know. It might be too edgy for you.

You're talking to the guy who, uh,

- green lit the fifth season of Handmaid's Tale.

So brave. So brave.

Do we know if the cast is available?

Or alive?

Well, according to Wikipedia,

Step Right Up was canceled when-

- Reed Sterling left to pursue a film career,

- but, for whatever reason, no film or TV lately.

That's the deal, you cocksucker.

You can take it, or I beat you to death with a fucking bat.

Well, look at you. Actin' like you A-Rod or some shit-

- when I'm the ruthless muthafucka standin' here with a .38 snubnose.

You know what? Um, actually, I'm thinking-

that perhaps I should infuse him-

- with a layer of weariness and vulnerability.

Maybe don't think.

Well, not-not exactly what they taught us at the Yale School of Drama.

Thank you.

Bree Marie Jensen did a season on a low budget sci-fi cable show-

called Star Blast Five.

Status?

Captain, it has to be the multi-camera spectrometer-

and cryo-cooler.

I'll repair them as soon as I-

nourish my larvae.

Says she then left Hollywood-

- to marry the Duke of a small Nordic country named Fjordstad.

And Clay Barber?

Arrested on a drug charge in 2011,

returned to stand-up comedy in 2014,

charged with disorderly conduct in 2017.

Now back doing stand-up.

Do we know what happened to the kid?

Uh, Zack Jackson starred in a string of straight-to-video teen movies:

Including Kid Congressman, Teenstronaut,

and Hunchback of Notre Dame High.

I like this idea, but are people still doing reboots?

Let's see, Fuller House, Saved by the Bell,

iCarly, Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl.

Party of Five, Party Down, One Day at a Time.

Boy Meets World, How I Met Your Father,

The Wonder Years.

Battlestar Galactica.

Doogie Howser, The Odd Couple.

Perry Mason, Hawaii Five-O, Veronica Mars, Fresh Prince.

- Fraggle Rock. - Fraggle Rock.

Makes me feel a little bit safer.

What the hell,

let's remake something original.

- Hi, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. - Hi, babe.

Our overpaid lead threw a fit.

She said that her understudy was sneezing on her.

You, You know who was just eating here? Like, right over there?

- Paul Thomas Anderson. - Oh, let me guess:

His lunch went on a half hour too long.

Come on, j-just because Magnolia-

- dared to... - Mm-hm.

You know what?

- I'm not gonna have this fight again. - Okay,

I have to be back at the theater in 40 minutes,

- so what's this big thing you wanted to discuss?

Okay, remember I told you they were rebooting my old show?

- Mm-hm. - I read the script.

- And? - And I am shocked, but it's really good.

It's smart dialogue, and nuanced relationships.

Ooh, and get this:

My character had a dark secret the entire time.

- And it's still a comedy? - Here's what's brilliant.

It is both the funniest thing you've ever read,

and you won't laugh once.

I thought you hated this show.

I mean, I've heard you blame it for ruining your career.

The show itself was bad... but there's a new writer.

And so now there's none of that old, hacky,

- set-up/punchline, set-up/punchline thing. That was all Gordon.

So, I think I'm gonna do it.

- Wow. - I, I, I want more people to see the potential I had

- when I came out of the Yale School of Drama. - Oh my god,

you have such a large penis,

why do you always have to bring up Yale?

Okay, listen.

It shoots in L.A.,

so... you could always join me-

- after the play opens. - You know I can't.

I mean, once this fuckin' play opens,

- I go straight into rehearsals on that next cock sucking thing.

I've been directing way too much Mamet.

Okay, then I'll come back to New York on hiatus weeks.

Hm. Ah, is she gonna be there?

She?

- Who? - Really?

You... Who you mean? Bree?

I'm sorry, is there another cast member you dated for three years?

Fair. Fair enough, um.

Yes, apparently, she will be there.

Great, this is so good for you guys.

- You can go hike around the reservoir in your yoga pants... - Oh boy. Now see.

Okay, yep, keep going. - And then you can go get an acai bowl,

have a sound bath,

- but that's probably before the lymphatic massage.

You get one more.

Go over to In-N-Out Burger in your electric car...

- Nice. - For the drive out to Ojai-

- for the Avocado Festival. - Mm, Nora, look at me.

- Look at me. - This is so creepy.

You are my girlfriend,

- and I promise you, there is nothing to worry about.

I remember you saying you guys were either always fighting or fucking.

Okay, well, now we'll only be fighting because she's married,

and you're the one I love.

Is... Does... Who works here?

Hi, uh, Reed Sterling. Here for a cast photo shoot.

- What show? - Uh, it's the reboot of, uh, Step Right Up.

It's much better this time.

My character has a dark secret.

- Do you have a dark secret? - No, I do not.

That's all I care about.

Hey, how ya doin'?

Oh!

Oh god!

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. Oh, jeez.

I am so sorry!

Oh god, are you, are you okay?!

I am now. Kiss me.

- Oh, motherfucker! - Oh, are you mad?

Are you gonna quit again for a career in the cinema?

Come on. Oh god.

- Come on, man. - See... Come on.

- Jeez. - Seriously good to see you again.

Stop it. You too.

- I like this. - Yeah, I like the...

- Yeah... it's been a long time. - Yeah, you, uh, talk to Bree at all?

- Uh, not a word... in 15 years. - Oof, that's gonna be uncomfortable.

Can I be there?

'Sup, guys? Look who's all grown up.

It's me, Zack.

- Wow, Zack! - Oh, hey.

Yep, the three of us back together.

Only it's different now 'cause we've all had sex.

How cool is that?

Come in!

Oh god, can you hurry?

I'm stuck, I'm stuck, and I can't breathe.

Uh, well, um, Bree, it's me.