Kung-Fu and Titties

You're light? Yeah.

You know are you sure

you don't want your old job back at the shop?

My dad could use you.

You got your ass kicked out there.

I won, didn't I?

Won? Are you nuts?

You got knocked out.

Yeah, well I'll get better.

Just screw working on cars, alright?

This is my job now

I'm gonna make millions.

Yeah, millions of concussions.

African-American Man: Waaaa waaaa.

Look, you're almost 40 years old.

And when did you plan on jumping from amateur to pro?

When you're 50?

You made good money as a mechanic.

Go back

That's crap, alright.

I'm going to be a fighter.

I'm good, I know I am.

Yeah, at least one of us knows.

Look I train you to be in my corner Mark.

The least you can do is give me a chance, right?

Alright. Alright

But could you look at my car this week?

It's making this weird noise again.

Want to know if you fix the old girl.

Yeah okay, I'll get your car Mark.

You know, you got determination

I'll give you that.

Even if it's stupid determination.

And, and you've got a killer right hook

but you'll never be able to use it

unless you work your arms and work your legs.

And you've gotta chop the weight man.

Well that's not going to be a problem

Cynthia made me stop eating

so I'm going to drop the weight like it's nothing.

She made you stop eating?

Yeah, she thinks I'm fat.

She weighs me in like every day.

You know you've gotta get yourself a new girlfriend

That's messed up

And I told you that before.

Francis you were so amazing tonight.

When you hit that guy in the face

and busted open his jaw

that's what gets me so hot.

I love you Francis

and I can't imagine being without you

I just have to know that you'll be with me forever

I can't take no for an answer.

Now did you like that?

I thought you did.

How about this? Yeah.

How do you like that?

I can do this every day when we're married.

You deserve this Francis.

Do you like what you see?

Yeah, I know you do.

Yeah.

Yes.

I would do anything for you.

Ooooh, I just love you sweetheart.

My name's not Francis.

What?

Francis is going to hear about this.

You're just

screwy.

You know the next time

a hot girl comes up to you

calls you Francis

tells you that she loves you

rubs her titties in your face

pretend your name is Francis!

Hey I've got a girlfriend Mark.

Don't give me that

I've got a girlfriend

Bo-log-na.

I'm pretty sure it's pronounced bologna Mark.

Sure? Hey? What's that say there.

Bo-log-na!

What's wrong with you?

Who carries around packages of bologna in their bag?

You'll find out when you're my age.

What?

Get some ice on that jaw

and lose some weight for God's sake.

Suck a dick.

Hi honey

Hey babe.

Ooooh, you good?

Other than the fact I don't remember

getting my ass kicked.

Mark thinks I'm a terrible fighter.

Yeah, I guess you could say I'm good.

You remember what tonight is right?

No.

Stop acting like a pussy or your girlfriend's gonna

punch you in the face night.

You're the one who quit your job to become a fighter.

You told me that you could make money doing this

so now I'm just the pregnant girl

who's to sit at home and worry about the mortgage

and do the housewife thing.

So don't look at me for sympathy.

Wait, you're pregnant?

You knew I was pregnant Richard!

You could sense it!

I could sense it?

That's insane.

What am I, some friggin' Jedi Knight

can sense information out of the wind?

You know what Rich?

One of these days you're just gonna have to

grow up.

You wanna be a kung fu fighter?

Fine!

Go for it!

I think Mark was right.

Mark what?

Why does everything have to be

such a big deal with you.

I love you babe, alright?

I love you.

Just act like a normal person once.

Chill out!

Everything's gonna be okay.

You chill out!!!!

Whose car is that outside?

It's your sisters.

Sisters?

So if it's a money thing, I get it.

I'll help you out.

But you've been avoiding your entire family.

If this is another psychotic boyfriend thing

In fact I want you out of the house.

Nice to see you too Rich.

So what did this guy do to you?

Slow down.

It's not like that this time.

You're, you're living on a prayer here.

I swear to God.

I'm over this crap!

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about you.

Traveling around

screwing frickin' bands and artists

and frickin' mimes.

Who the hell goes out with a friggin' mime?

Will you hold on for one second

and let me explain myself?

Knock yourself out.

Yes.

It's about my new boyfriend.

Woooooow, what a shocker.

He is nice.

He's not a dirtbag.

He's just well...

Serial killer?

Murderer?

Child molester?

What?

No!

He's missing, okay?

I think someone kidnapped him.

Someone kidnapped your boyfriend.

Give me a break.

I think someone took him because

Put me down. Put me down.

Who or what are you?

Titties. Take that!

Run, run for your life. We all gonna die. Run.

Good fight.

My name's Richard.

Look, I don't want to hurt you.

The last thing I remember is some big fat guy

says "titties".

Now I'm here and I don't know what the hell's going on.

You wanna be a jerk? Fine.

Arghhhh. Arghhhh.

I love me some titties.

Haaaa!

More grape juice.

Boobies. Beautiful boobies.

Boobies of all shapes and sizes.

Just for me!

I have found the special one

My day has come.

I have found Raine Brown.

Only a man with his true heart may pass.

I understand.

Do you?

Yes, I want to take you to dinner.

What?

I wanna take you to dinner.

You are Soaring Eagle and I am Two Dogs Fucking.

I have seen us in my visions.