Ballers

We have Wayne Hastings in our corner,

we have the entire city of Las Vegas on our side.

Off-off the record? I'd say, "watch your ass."

When there's this much money at stake,

it makes sense to edit your social circle.

Did you get Reggie and Vernon out of the weed business?

I can't really hear you.

You are the father.

You can't prove that till it's born.

The baby was conceived the first day we hooked up.

I bring football to these fans,

it's gonna mean the world to them.

Why risk everything you've built?

Sounds like you're trying to discourage me.

I just wanna know if you're an enemy of the league.

- How about now? - No, still too dark.

- I can barely see you. - I know, I'm trying to keep it mysterious.

Okay, so I can roll around in lingerie,

but I don't get to see you jerk it?

- All right. - Well, listen, first of all, baby,

you're gonna ruin the whole romantic thing that's happening now,

and, believe me, the last thing you wanna do

is see me in all my shame.

Do not be ashamed, okay?

I am so proud of you.

What you are doing is proactive.

- Okay. - Checking to see if you can reproduce

even when you have no intention of doing so

anytime in the near future, that shows maturity.

Yeah, listen, honey, I gotta tell you,

I really appreciate the support. It means a lot to me.

Uh, but what would also mean a lot to me is if you take

your perfectly round, beautiful ass and hike it in the air.

Like this?

Just like that.

Damn, don't move.

Um, did you just take a screen grab?

No! Why would I take a screen grab of you?

I got the real thing. Come on.

Okay. Don't get lube all over your phone.

Hike your ass up, please?

God damn. Sexy, yes.

Just a little bit more. Arch your back.

Fuck.

Damn! Tom and Gisele floating on a 300-footer in Saint-Tropez.

Man, that's a long-ass way from that raft

we used to float on at Jim McMahon's aboveground pool.

Where you see that?

Where I see everything... 'Gram.

You follow Tom Brady?

Just so I don't look like a creep following his wife.

Plus, he only posts pictures of him practicing and wearing them ugly-ass Uggs.

Wait, I can't believe they let your old ass on the 'Gram, Dennis.

Motherfucker, there's no age limit looking at fine-ass women.

Is this you with all the Pam Grier pics?

That's my Woman Crush Wednesday every day.

Because she ain't no Ashley Graham.

And I hate to break it to you,

but she ain't looking like this anymore.

Hey, careful, boy. That's my girl.

And FYI, she's still fine as fuck, all right?

- Fine... - Both: As fuck!

Look at Tommy. This is what I'm saying.

"Practicing with my boys, Edelman, Gronk, and Amendola."

- God. - And when was that?

Yesterday.

What? Get the fuck out of here.

Oh, shit, I'll get that.

These motherfuckers practicing without me.

Come on, Ricky, they in Boston, man.

Well, shit, Edelman lives in LA

and Gronk lives here in Miami.

Last time I checked, Amendola was in Botswana.

Yet, they get the call and I get the proverbial stiff arm?

- Yeah, yeah, you're right. - That's bullshit.

You're right, you're right.

Fuck Brady.

Fuck him. I'ma unfollow his ass any motherfucking way.

You know what? I'ma set up a practice of my own.

Just fucking go to... Hey, T!

- Yeah? - Grab me a group together.

And not that busted-ass quarterback from last time, all right?

Who, JaMarcus? He used to play for the Raiders.

- Who the roses from? - Amber.

Damn, those are nice.

Must be her apology for yesterday's behavior.

Nigga, you sent these to Amber to apologize to her.

She just sent them back.

- I did? - Yeah, you had me do it.

Wait, you don't remember this?

Oh, yeah.

It's still nice, though. What kind of red is this?

Rose red? I don't...

"Are you an enemy of the league?" What does that even mean?

Well, it's a threat, Joe.

I mean, it's really fucking subtle,

but it's still a threat.

Well, they can't do shit to us.

Actually, they could ass-fuck us multiple ways,

starting with our registration.

- No, they couldn't. - They can and they will.

- Well, that would suck. - Yep.

They could also take away that ASM box

we have at the Dolphins' game, too.

- Oh, I love that box. - Yeah, so do I.

It's also a matter of credibility.

The league can go after that, too.

Let me tell you something, for two guys who didn't start off with a lot of that,

we don't have shit to spare.

What's their fucking problem with you anyway?

It's an old boys' club, Joe, all right?

I ain't old enough, I ain't white enough,

and I sure as fuck ain't clean enough, and neither are you.

- What about the Raiders? Are they a lock? - Nothing's a lock.

Tim Brown said that he was gonna back channel for us,

but we both know that words without actions,

that doesn't amount to shit.

Is my hungover brain playing a trick on me

or is the legendary maverick Spencer Strasmore

second-guessing himself?

It's called pragmatism, Joe.

Oh, yeah, you pragmatic?

Oh, that's a new one.

Virginia, he just called himself pragmatic.

I am, and let me tell you something,

it's not a me thing; it's a we thing, okay?

I need you to know you go in on this,

shit could get pretty steep.

Why are you such a masochist, man, huh?

We got a great business going here.

I'll give you two billion reasons why.

No. No, no, no. That's not you.

That's the way I would do it, sure,

but you've never been just about the bucks.

Okay, how about paying back Ricky and Vernon?

Good, honorable. I like that one.

Usually, that would stick, but I don't believe you.

How about this one? Fuck the powers that be.

Huh, there he is. Vintage Spencer Strasmore.

I'm all about good over evil, Joe.

Mm-hmm, but just so I know in this particular scenario,

- are we the good or are we the evil? - We're always the good.

Against the evil empire, we are always the good.

Yeah, and who are they to say we can't carve out

our slice of the American dream, huh?

I'm a capitalist. I don't kowtow to threats.

Fuck the evil empire.

They can't stop me from retiring at 40.

Uh, you're past 40, Joe.

That's why they can't stop me.

Joe Krutel.

For a little guy, you've got some big balls.

Hey, good to hear from you again.

How's the family vacay going?

None of your business.

What is your business is Vernon.

And apparently, you didn't take care of business very well.

- I'm sorry, come again? - I didn't come a first time.

You said you had Vernon under control.

Do you know he converted his endorsement money

into ownership in a grow house? Ownership?

That's something I know something about, Joe.

Uh, I have no idea why they think that would be okay.

It's totally unacceptable.

I appreciate your concurrence, Joe.

Tell your client I'm cutting him.

Boys, knock it off!

Hey.

I'm gonna share something with you

and I hope you will be as supportive of me

as I've been of you this morning.

Kisan Teague has the kind of talent

that can take our offense over the top

and finally turn the negativity around.

- I'm listening. - Yeah, but you're not looking at me.

That's 'cause I don't wanna see your silly grin while you pitch.

Now, continue.

Look, Teague has breakaway speed to spare and durability.

Now, that is one lethal combination.

Lethal?

That is an interesting choice of words

when describing Kisan Teague.

Let me ask you this.

Do you think he's a good person?

A good person?

I believe he can be.

Besides, who are we to judge? We all sin.

I'll answer for you, Charles.

He can be a good person, but he chooses not to be.

How's Kisan any different than dealing with Sutton or Jared?

We don't need any more distractions, Charles.

- We need a title. - And Teague can help us get there, sir.

- I really believe that. - The answer is no, Charles.

But it was a very impassioned pitch,

so je vous remercie.