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‐ Coronavirus crisis explodes across the nation.

‐ Stay home and save lives.

‐ In Los Angeles, officials managing

the emergency response say the power to beat COVID‐19

lies with every American.

‐ President Trump wants to reopen the country

by Easter Sunday.

‐ Hello?

Annie? ‐ Ben!

Hi! Wait, it's not 8:30 yet.

‐ You said 8:15.

‐ No, I 100% said 8:30.

‐ You did?

That's it.

My mind is broken.

‐ No, it's okay, your mind's not broken.

‐ I put my running shoes on this morning

before I hopped in the shower.

‐ Oh, yeah, maybe your mind is a little broken.

‐ It's broken.

All these stores are closed.

I can't even go get it fixed.

‐ Well, since I have you here,

I wanted to run something... ‐ Wait.

‐ By you. ‐ Then why are you here?

‐ Honestly, I keep this on for company sometimes.

‐ You keep a live video chat on for c‐‐why?

In case the FBI gets bored?

‐ It's like an aquarium!

‐ In what sense?

‐ In that it's rectangular,

you know, and maybe one of you will swim by, bloop bloop.

‐ That's the saddest thing I've ever heard in my life.

‐ Ben, it's 2020.

What, are you trying to jinx us?

‐ Last night, I fell asleep playing solitaire.

‐ Last night, I put on Lana Del Rey

and slow‐danced with myself.

‐ Sometimes I prop up my jiu‐jitsu grappling dummy,

put him in a chair,

and have lunch with him.

‐ Sometimes, I stuff pillows

in one of my jumpsuits and take a nap with it.

‐ Wait, these are fake, right?

These are fake or real? ‐ No, all of mine are real.

'Cause I'm real.

‐ How's Jazmin?

‐ Probably gonna say "bad."

‐ Yeah, I was gonna say, "Not good."

‐ Are you drinking butterscotch schnapps

straight out the bottle?

‐ Oh, this is butterscotch peach.

‐ How are you?

‐ Oh, I've been better.

Lot of me time, you know?

‐ Oh, I do.

‐ I just wish I had a roommate or something.

‐ About that, I‐‐ ‐ What are you listening to?

‐ Oh, The Band. ‐ Yeah, which one?

‐ No, that's the name of the band.

‐ Seems kind of lazy, but okay.

‐ I don't know, old music, old movies, old TV shows.

It's kind of the only thing soothing the anxiety.

Also, I'm rewatching "Cheers" from the beginning.

‐ "Cheers"! That's what your background is!

‐ Sam Malone, represent!

‐ Sam Malone did not wear an apron!

‐ Carla.

Get Norm here a beer before he drives home!

‐ I'ma call mayday

on that Mayday Malone impression.

‐ I almost didn't do it.

But you have to live life on the edge.

Plus, I'm more of a Carla, anyway.

‐ Oh, come on, you're definitely Diane.

‐ You think so? ‐ Hell yeah.

I always thought Sam should've moved in

a little faster on her. ‐ I agree!

Anyway, how you holding up with the whole...

‐ The whole "Paz dumping me

before a global pandemic" thing?

‐ Yeah.

‐ Yeah, not great, if I'm being honest.

Kind of a weird time to be super extra alone.

‐ Yeah, I feel you.

‐ You know what I was thinking about today?

‐ Global human extinction, buying me an aquarium...

‐ Chicago.

‐ Aw, Chicago. ‐ Remember?

‐ Of course, I remember!

That was such a good time! ‐ That was such a weird day.

‐ Uh... why was it a weird day? ‐ I‐‐I don't know!

I was there visiting my dumb friend

who flaked on me.

You were on that crazy ten‐hour layover

on the way to see your dad...

‐ What's crazy about saving $1,000?

‐ Nothing! I'm just saying it's weird

we both ended up there separately

with a whole day to kill,

walking around a city neither of us are from.

‐ The pretzel vendor who thought we were newlyweds.

‐ The guy that scammed us for 20 bucks,

said his wife was "in the hospital"

and he "needed to get there."

‐ We don't know that he scammed us.

What if it was real?

‐ Right. I mean, it totally wasn't.

‐ But what if it was? What's worse?

‐ Right. It was a good scam.

‐ It's probably karma for the free pretzel.

What made you think about that?

‐ I don't know. Just popped in my head.

‐ Well, speaking...

of things popping into heads,

I kind of have a crazy‐‐ Pradeep!

‐ Shh! Shh! Shh!

Shut up! They'll hear you!

‐ Is someone in your house?

‐

kids: We found you, we found you!

You're stupid, Daddy P! ‐

Okay! I'm stupid.

Ya found me!

Now go find Daddy R now, okay?

I'm gonna hide again.

Now, remember, I never hide in the same place twice.

So don't come here!

Go get Daddy R!

Go get him!

‐ Where's Daddy R hiding? ‐ In the trunk of the car.

He's got a book, that son of a bitch.

‐ How are you doing, Pradeep?

‐ Well, I've been better.

I think I hate my kids!

‐ Nah, you love your kids.

You've got great kids!

‐ Oh, I used to think that, too,

because until recently,

I didn't spend all my time with them!

Richie's the home parent, and Richie knows what's what.

He's been worried about our kids

being jerks for a while, and I'd be like,

"No, they're not," 'cause honestly?

Most of the time when I'm home, they're asleep.

But now I've got the full picture.

And I don't like who they are.

They're not nice people.

‐ You love them! You're just sick of them.

It's a cabin fever thing.

‐ Sure.

Ellis!

‐ Hello. ‐ Ellis!

‐ You okay over there?

‐ I've been better.

Is Jazmin really gonna join? I'm worried about her.

‐ I know. We all are.

She's been M. I. A. Since this whole thing started,

so when she replied to the group chat tonight

that she was actually gonna join,

I was kind of, like, relieved but also nervous, you know?

‐ I'm worried about you, Ellis.

You seem a little off.

You wanna talk? ‐ I don't know.

It's stupid.

I know there are real problems in the world.

‐ Hey, no, the world is on fire right now.

Every problem is a valid problem.

‐ It just, um...

You know, it slammed into me today.

The NBA is not coming back this year!

‐ Oh, my God‐‐ ‐ Oh.

‐ I said I know there are bigger problems!

‐ Every problem‐‐ every problem is bigger!

‐ You are not a Clippers fan, Ben.

You don't understand.

‐ You're right, I don't understand!

‐ They have been my team for 15 years, all right?

Ever since I moved here.

15 years of brutal, relentless,

humiliating disappointment.

‐ Weren't the Lakers ahead of the Clippers?

‐ Oh, it was still the regular season.

You think Kawhi is gonna go full‐out before the playoffs?

That is not his way, Annie!

That is not his way!

‐ Come on, it's just one year,

and then they'll be back to their balls.

‐ And it's not just the Clippers.

All right, I need sports in my life.

I think my brain is always thinking about sports

in the background in a way that's actually

very therapeutic for me,

and now that I don't have any of them,

all that extra brain space has just diverted back

into anxiety and neurosis.

‐ What about those marble races on YouTube?

‐ Rigged.

Blue Swirly wins way too often.

I can't invest.