Robin Hood

You know, there's been a heap of legends and tall tales...

about Robin Hood.

All different too.

Well, we folks of the animal kingdom have our own version.

It's the story of what really happened in Sherwood Forest.

Oh, incidentally, I'm Allan-a-Dale, a minstrel.

That's an early-day folk singer.

And my job is to... tell it like it is.

Or was or whatever.

You know something, Robin? You're taking too many chances.

Chances? You must be joking.

That was just a bit of a lark, Little John.

Yeah? Take a look at your hat.

That's not a candle on a cake.

Hello. This one almost had my name on it, didn't it?

They're getting better, you know.

You've got to admit it. They are getting better.

Huh, yeah. The next time that sheriff'll probably have a rope around our necks.

Pretty hard to laugh hangin' there, Rob.

Ha! The sheriff and his whole posse couldn't lift you off the ground.

- En garde! - Hey, watch it, Rob. That's the only hat I've got.

Oh, come along. You worry too much, old boy.

You know something, Robin? I was just wonderin'.

Are we good guys or bad guys?

You know. I mean, uh, our robbin' the rich to feed the poor.

''Rob''?

That's a naughty word. We never rob.

We just... sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it.

Borrow? Huh. Boy, are we in debt.

That sounds like another collection day for the poor. Eh, Johnny boy?

Yeah. Sweet charity.

Taxes! Taxes!

Beautiful, lovely taxes!

Sire, you have an absolute skill...

for encouraging contributions from the poor.

To coin a phrase, my dear counselor,

rob the poor to feed the rich.

Am I right?

Tell me, what is the next stop, Sir Hiss?

Uh, let me see. Uh, I...

Oh! Yes. The next stop is Nottingham, sire.

Oh! The richest plum of them all.

Notting... ham.

A perfect fit, sire. Most becoming.

You look regal, dignified, sincere, masterful, noble, chival...

Uh, uh, don't, don't overdo it, Hiss.

There. That, I believe, does it.

This crown gives me a feeling of power! Power!

Forgive me a cruel chuckle.

Power. Hmm.

And how well King Richard's crown sits on your noble brow.

Doesn't it? Uh, King Richard?

I've told you never to mention my brother's name!

A-A mere slip of the forked tongue, Your Majesty.

We're in this plot together, if you don't mind my saying so.

And remember, it was your idea I hypnotized him and...

I know. And sent him off on that crazy crusade.

Much to the sorrow of the Queen Mother.

Yes! Mother.

Mother always did like Richard best.

Your Highness, please don't do that.

If you don't mind my saying so, you see,

you have a very loud thumb.

Hypnotism could rid you of your... psychosis...

so...

easily.

No! None of that! None of that.

Well, I was only trying to help.

I wonder. Silly serpent.

- ''Silly serpent''? - Now look here.

One more hiss out of you, Hiss,

and you are walking to Nottingham.

Snakes don't walk. They slither.

Hmpf. So there.

Now what about that for luck? It's only a circus. A peanut operation.

''Peanuts''? Why, you dunce. That's the royal coach.

- It's Prince John himself. - The prince?

Wait a minute. There's a law against robbin' royalty.

- I'll catch you later. - What?

And miss this chance to perform before royalty?

Ah! Here we go again.

Oo-de-lally! Oo-de-lally!

Fortune-tellers!

Fortunes forecast! Lucky charms!

Get the dope with your horoscope.

Fortune-tellers! How droll. Uh, stop the coach.

Sire, sire, they may be bandits.

Oh, poppycock. Female bandits?

What next? Rubbish.

Um, um, my dear ladies,

you have my permission to kiss the royal hands.

Whichever you like, first.

Mmm! Oh!

How gracious!

- And generous. - Sire! Sire!

- Did you see what they... - Stop!

Stop hissing in my ear.

Ah!

Hiss! Oh, you've hissed your last--

hiss.

Suspicious snake.

Masterfully done, Your Excellency.

Now close your eyes... and concentrate.

Close your eyes. Tight shut. No peeking, sire.

From the mists of time,

come forth, spirits.

Yoo-hoo!

Okay, little fireflies. Glow, babies, glow.

We're waiting.

Ah, oh! Look, sire. Look!

Oh! Incredible. Floating spirits.

Ah, oh!

Naughty, naughty. You mustn't touch, young man.

Oh, how dare you strike the royal hand.

Shh! You'll break the spell. Just gaze into the crystal ball.

Oo-de-lally!

Oo-de-lal... Oh!

A face appears.

- A crown is on his noble brow. - Oo-de-lally!

A crown! How exciting!

His face is handsome,

regal, majestic,

loveable,

a cuddly face.

Handsome, regal, oh! Majestic.

Loveable. Yes, yes.

Cuddly.

Oh, that's me to a ''T.''

It really is. Yes.

- I... - Now what ?

I, uh...

I see, um, your illustrious name.

I know my name! Get on with it!

Your name will go down, down, down,

in history, of course.

Yes ! I knew it! I knew it!

Do you hear that, Hiss ? Oh, you...

He's in the basket.

Don... Don't forget it.

Hmm. What have we here ?

Solid-gold hubcaps.

Oo-de-lally. The jackpot.

Robbed ! I've been robbed !

Hiss! You're never around when I need you!

- Ahem. I've been robbed. - Of course you've been robbed!

Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally!

Fortunes forecast. Lucky charms.

After them, you fools!

No, no, no, no !

I knew it. I knew it. I just knew this would happen.

I tried to warn you, but, no. You wouldn't listen. You just had to...

Ah, ah, ah! Seven years' bad...

Ooh! Luck. That's what it is.

Besides, you broke your mother's mirror.

Mommy!

I've got a dirty thumb.

Well, even though Prince John...

offered a huge reward for the capture of Robin Hood,

that elusive rogue kept right on robbin' the rich to feed the poor.

And believe me, it's a good thing he did,

'cause what with taxes and all, the poor folks of Nottingham were starvin' to death.

Uh-oh. Here comes old bad news himself,

the Honorable Sheriff of Nottingham.

Well, lookie there.

Friar Tuck, the old do-gooder.

He's out doin' good again.

- Well, good mornin', Friar Tuck. - Shh, Otto.

Shh! For you, Otto, from Robin Hood.

Oh, God bless Robin Hood.

It's the sheriff! Hurry, hide it! Quick!

Here I come. Ready or not.

Well, greetings from your friendly neighborhood tax collector.

Oh, take it easy on me, Sheriff,

w-what with this busted leg and all, you know.

I-I'm way behind in me work, Sheriff.

I know, Otto, but you're way behind with your taxes too.

Oh, have a heart, Sheriff.

Can't you see he's laid up ? Come on, Otto.

You'd better sit down and rest.

Oh, thank you. Yes.

Let me give you a hand with that leg.

Upsa-daisy.

Upsa-daisy. Bingo!

Ah, what they won't think of next.

It smarts, don't it, Otto?

But Prince John says that taxes should hurt.

Now see here, you... you evil, flint-hearted leech!

Now, now, now, now! Save your sermon, preacher.

It ain't Sunday, you know.

Well, now, sonny, that box is done up right pretty, ain't it?