Still the King

Previously on "Still the King"...

It's not what it looks like.

Looks like you're pretending to be a preacher.

That's pretty much it.

Dad, what are you doing?

Coming in to hear the band.

You really don't have to do that.

Aw, have to? I want to.

Vernon, Charlotte's dad.

Let me make something crystal-glass clear, Napoleon.

I'm King Dad around these parts.

You can bet your boat I'm gonna keep it that way.

Oh, you're a gentleman... since when?

Well, Debbie, I don't believe we've ever had the chance...

to go on a proper date...

but I'd be happy to change all that.

What, us? Please.

Hey, give me $10 on Pump 2 there, honey.

That'll be $29.33.

Oh, look! Someone's got all their money this time.

I always carry all my money from now on, baby.

You want to speed it up, bub.

Is that Erik Estrada behind me?

Yup.

Aw, sh.

Hey!

Ooh, you got punched by Ponch.

On your feet, Vernon Brown!

You can run from a CHiP, but you can't hide from a CHiP!

Fire it up!

What happened to you?

Erik Estrada happened.

What did you do to him?

I don't know!

Could just be jealous of my damn good looks.

Maybe I slept with his girlfriend.

Now you can add liftin' his wallet. Drinks are on the Ponch.

Adios, amigo!

Whoo-hoo! Yee-haw!

You can run, but you can't hide, Vernon!

This is Erik Estrada's America!

Ronnie, I'm going to the store.

Do you need some more of your bath salts?

That's right.

What are you doing here? You're all paid up for the week.

Yeah, they didn't say anything about unannounced visits...

in the parenting plan.

Yeah, morning, Debbie, Ronald.

I'm here to take my daughter to the county fair.

You know, it's not even your day with her...

so there's no way she's gonna want to hang out.

Bye, Mom, I'm going to the fair.

Hey, sweetheart!

You're going with him?

Yeah.

Well, if he's going to the fair and you're going to the fair...

then I'm going with y'all to the fair.

But you hate the fair.

Hey, I'm not trying to start anything here now.

I've got some bad memories, but that's not the point.

The more the merrier, I always say.

Baby, I'm going to the fair.

Screw that, I'm not gonna let some random dude...

take my family to the fair.

God, I'm watching you.

Fair enough.

Good afternoon.

Save it. Here's how it's gonna go down.

You're gonna give me my money, not give me any problems...

and I'll be on my way.

Is this a stick-up?

I am joking, of course. It isn't though, right?

You'll see right here that I'm owed $83 in surplus power.

Due to my use of homemade solar panels.

Ah, happy to help.

Care for a muffin?

Nice try, but you you're not gonna lull me into submission...

with your tasty breakfast treats.

I'm not here for government handouts, okay?

I just want my $83 in U.S. currency...

or the equivalent weight in gold.

And I don't have time to sit around...

while we cut through red tape all day.

Done! Your account's credited.

Credited? That's not gonna work. I need it in cash.

I'm sorry, sir, but the $83 is actually a rebate...

that's credited to your next bill.

Well, there won't be a next bill...

because I'm the one making you power.

I'm sorry, sir. It's company policy.

Why don't you go tell whoever's in charge...

that I'm not gonna sit and watch them get rich off my power?

They haven't heard the last of Walter Baines Murray!

Hi, how are you?

Scratch that. Tell them they have heard the last of me.

Just for the sake of simplicity, say...

You've lost a customer. You lost your best customer!

Or you lost your best customer, something like that.

I'm going off the grid!

Will do! Have a super day!

You have a super day!

Hey, hoss, I'm watching you, and don't think for one minute...

that I'm gonna let these ladies out of my sight.

Oh! Turkey leg! Hey man, where'd you get that?

You know, I think I actually played this very

fair right here somewhere around '98 or '99.

It was 2000!

Coulda been. How'd ya know that?

Because this is where we met.

You could be right.

Yeah, right! It was more like this.

I was the Pool and Spa Depot Girl?

Pool and Spa Depot, we've got the best spas in town.

Come check us out. How are you?

Hi, ma'am... Pool and Spa Depot.

Hey, uh, Debbie... listen, don't forget to tell them...

that the "lumbar jets" can be used on other body parts...

if you catch my drift.

I'm talking about the downtowns.

Yep, I got it.

You really don't remember me, do you?

Well if you gimme some details, it might jar somethin' loose.

Forget it. If you don't remember, I'm not telling you.

Well, what about me?

Despite the fact that I'm essentially a bastard...

I might like to know a little bit about how you guys met.

Hey, Sailor, care to try your luck?

I ain't falling for that again, Bodean!

Hey, Sailor, care to try your luck?

I ain't falling for that again!

Hey, Sailor, care to try your luck?

I am not falling for that again!

Hey, Sailor, care to try your luck?

Sure, mister! I want that awesome boat-in-a-bottle!

Well, you gotta win it first.

Give it up!

All right! You want to get nautical up in here?

Come on now!

Watch and learn.

All right.

Agh! Come on! What the hell?

Don't you want to win a little something for your lady?

Put some heat on it!

There you go! You got a piece of it!

Mother of...

Agh!

Come on!

Aw.

Whoo-hoo! First one!

All right, what do you want, baby?

I'm all good... really.

Come on, how 'bout that cute little bear...

there with the black eye?

Hey, you can't just come in here and win my daughter over...

with some cheap, crappy, carnival prize.

I'm her momma, and if anybody is winning her a crappy bear...

it's gonna be me!

Baby, I'm gonna win you this.

Well, well, well...

if it isn't the old Pool and Spa Depot Girl.

And I do mean old.

Hello, Pamela.

At least some of us have aged well.

You're still burnin'... Vernon.

Seeing the two of you together certainly brings back memories.

Hey, look it's Burnin' Vernon!

He's on your "list." You gotta do it!

Wait, so you and Pamela were friends?

Best friends.

Before she stole my life.

More like you handed it over.

I guess I kinda have you to thank for that.

Mm, mm, mm.

Ooh, look, a customer... see y'all around.

What was that all about?

Some bitch living in the past...

when the rest of us have clearly moved on.

Winner! Pick a prize, little lady.

Here you go, baby.

Guys, I appreciate the effort...

but stuffed animals aren't really my thing.

Whoa! Sorry, you startled me.

Please state your business.

Yeah, I'm just here to execute a basic disconnect order.

No need, I already did it.

Officially off your tyrannical government power grid.

I'm sorry, sir, but it says right here, paragraph 43...

section two, all disconnects must be performed...

by authorized personnel only.

And the word "must" is even italicized, so...

Well, it says in my sovereign municipality charter...

section L-7, paragraph three...

"no governmental agent shall breach said property line...

without prior invitation or notarized consent."

In other words, hit the road, Jack.

This is Field Agent Nixon, we've got a rogue civilian. Standby.