The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

It's me, not you, back from peru.

What, did you buy all of south america?

No, silly.

Just the shiny stuff.

Ohh.

Whoa! Is that real gold?

Don't touch!

This looks like a genuine, pre-columbian

Artifact from the mezoian american civilization.

I would say it dated circa 3000 b.C.

It's really old.

Oh! Ooh!

And I got this pretty necklace, too.

Is that a real emerald?

What is this, slap zack day?

London, you can't just steal another country's cultural artifacts.

Daddy didn't steal them.

He bought them from a guy named dakota smith.

He delivered them in the middle of the night

And then we left really, really fast on a jet.

I barely made it up the steps.

Well, as long as they weren't stolen.

And now daddy's going to display

All the treasures of the pyramid right here at the tipton.

Ooh! May I present the main attraction?

Queen quiqui qumqum.

Aah! The curse of the mummy!

Ooh!

What curse?

The curse of queen quiqui!

Anyone who disturbs her rest

Shall be doomed forever.

Ah!

Oh, wait. How do you know so much about this?

Oh. Come here, come here, come here.

My village lies in the shadow

Of queen quiqui's pyramid.

But it looked like no one had been near there for a thousand years.

Right. Because as I may have mentioned before,

It's cursed!

Only a complete idiot would go there!

Hi.

The only thing worse than disturbing queen quiqui's rest

Is if someone stole her precious emeralds.

Aah! The curse of the necklace!

Aah!

Boy, they got a lot of curses.

Captioning made possible by abc cable networks group

Don't you worry, mr. Smith.

Call me dakota.

Oh. North or south?

Just dakota.

Ok.

Want a signed picture of me

Fighting off a rampaging rhino with a spork?

Ooh.

Maybe later.

Although I will be away at a wedding this weekend,

I assure you, your exhibit will be completely safe.

I have put my best man in charge.

Skippy!

Ooh, my!

Yes, sir?

This is your best man?

Actually, my best man is getting married.

My second best man is out sick,

And my third best man is the best man

At my first best man's wedding.

So technically, he's my fourth best man.

I'm flattered.

Ohh!

Perhaps I shall keep our most valuable item locked in my room.

I would.

Take the queen.

Speaking of which,

Here. Have a queen quiqui hat.

Ooh!

Cool!

Thank you.

It'll go with my I'm with stupid t-shirt.

Which I should be wearing right now.

While I am away I want nothing to happen to this exhibit.

And by nothing, keep zack and cody out.

Don't worry, sir.

They won't get by me.

I am an impenetrable wall.

Hey, skippy.

Yo, skip.

Hey, guys!

Oh, aren't they the cutest kids?

Show me the mummy!

I will show you the door!

Now, consider this your first and last warning.

You are not allowed in this room ever.

But we just want to take a peek at the mummy.

There will be no mummy peeking in this room.

That's right because it's going to be in dakota smith's room.

Mmm!

Oh, I guess I shouldn't have told them that, huh?

You think?

Crowd: Send the mummy home!

Send the mummy home!

Send the mummy home!

Hey, lady!

If you want to protest something,

You should protest that outfit. It's hideous.

Oh, miss london!

Queen quiqui must go home,

Or she will punish us all.

Esteban, stop being ridiculous,

And take off that silly hat.

This is my hat of protection.

The garlic keeps away the dead.

It does a good job on the living, too.

Oh! Oh, poor maddie.

The evil protestors trampled you, too.

Look what they did to your hair.

They didn't touch my hair.

Oh. Never mind.

Anyway, I completely agree with them.

Queen quiqui must go home.

Oh, maddie, you, too, believe this wrong should be righted.

Yes. I just met the ambassador from qumqum outside.

And he's very upset.

Pepe's out there?

He's the one in the garlic pants.

He owes me $10.

London, everything should go back to qumqum,

Including that necklace.

It's a priceless cultural artifact.

A precious remnant of a once great civilization.

Yeah, but it goes great with my new boots.

It's just not fair.

Moseby won't let us in

To see them set up the exhibit

Because he's afraid we'll break something.

Well, you did break the chandelier in the ballroom

And the vent in the lounge

And that statue in the atrium and...

What's your point?

Boys, once the exhibit is open,

You can go see it just like everybody else.

It costs 32.50 per person.

Or you can read all about it in the papers.

Ohh.

Esteban, get in here.

But I'm afraid to see the mummy.

Uhh!

The mummy isn't down here.

Now, open your eyes.

Aah!

Would you relax?

It's just my old dolly holly.

Well, they should've called her scary mary.

Ok. So...

How is holly the dolly going to help us

The mummy back home?

We just have to wrap her up in this,

Put her in a crate to get her by skippy,

Then switch her with the real mummy,

Which we'll bring down here

And deliver to ambassador pepe.

He's going back to qumqum for the iguana festival.

He is?

Oh, I can't believe I missed it again.

I love the running of the iguanas.

The running of the iguanas?

We used to have the running of the chameleons,

But no one can ever see them.

Help me focus here!

Oh, right, right.

We must return queen quiqui back home

Before we are cursed.

By the way,

What exactly does this curse do to you?

Well, let's just say you spend your life

In agonizing toil and poverty.

I got that now.

And your skin melts off,

Your eyes explode, and your hair bursts into flames.

Ooh.

Oh, that would so put a damper on prom.

Ok.

Hurry up.

Ok, ok.

Zack, I don't know.

Don't worry. Dakota's downstairs dusting his pyramid.

Come on.

How did you get that pass key?

I just asked skippy for his.

He'll give you anything if you ask for it.

I even got his wallet.

There she is!

Wow! That is so cool!

Nice to meet you, queen quiqui!

Stop! Don't touch.

She mighty fall to pieces.

Yeah, I do have that effect on women.

Yeah, when you're not wearing deodorant.

Oh, yeah? If you're such a lady's man,