C.I.Ape

The coast is clear, Chief.

Give the agent the go ahead, Miss James.

Okay, Sam, you heard the Chief. Mission's a go.

Coast is still clear, but the window of opportunity is closing.

We're five by five, but time is of the essence.

I'm going as fast as I can.

We'll be monitoring you the whole time.

Yes! The crowd cheers as he totally sticks the landing.

Don't leave me hanging.

Miss James, please. This is a serious mission.

Sorry, Chief.

Nice landing.

You earned a banana for that one.

Mmm.

According to the blueprints,

you need to move straight ahead

until you come to a T.

Okay, tough guy, stay on mission.

If our info's correct, you should find an accessible data port

at the tower closest to the door.

Tell him it's imperative we have that data.

He knows, Chief, we've trained for the situation.

The future of our democracy may depend on it.

Take five and let me work my magic.

Hm.

We're in business,

sit tight and we'll have you out of there in no time.

- - Hm?

- - What on earth are you doing here?

- - We got it.

Grab that drive and get out of there.

How did you get in here?

Zip line grappling hooks, snuck by the guards

- and through the ventilation shaft - A talking ape?

I prefer chimp.

Monkey?

Get him!

We've been breached!

Lock it down, lock it down!

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

Freeze!

Um, a little help.

Silly bad guys,

you can't have a lock down when there's a fire alarm.

Everybody knows that.

Who was that funky monkey?

[people chattering in distance]

So how'd you get into this line of work?

I got recruited, just like you.

No, but, I mean,

you-you know, have you always wanted to work with a monkey?

He's not a monkey, he's a chimpanzee,

a member of the great ape species.

And he hates being called a monkey.

Oh, my bad.

I hate it, too.

Oh, uh, I... of course.

And, I mean, I totally agree with you, you know?

And-and I do, you know, it's just I thought

it was kind of funny because, you know.

No, I don't. It's funny why?

Sam, buddy, you really got some moves out there.

I'd like to thank you both

for attending this little

team-building exercise today.

Happy to be on the team, Chief.

Yeah, happy to be here.

Camaraderie is important

for any well-oiled organization

as it is maintaining an appropriate level of physical training.

He appears to have developed a bit of a fan club.

- Bit unseemly for a secret agent. -

We got to go. Dad's here.

Oh, okay. Um, it was nice hanging out with you.

Outside of work, I mean.

Sure, you bet.

Did you have fun with your friends today?

They're not friends, Dad, they're co-workers.

You and Sam are friends and co-workers, right?

- - Yeah, but that's different.

Sam and I are family.

Hm, family's important to you, huh?

It's not to you?

Sweetie, about that.

I know you're not very happy with me these days,

but your mother and I can't have you doing what you did.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Do you remember that time when you were little and you ate that chocolate cake?

When I asked you what happened to the cake,

you told me, "I don't know what you're talking about."

You said it with cake and frosting all over your face.

Come on, that wasn't even the same.

Then you admit you did it?

Well, of course I did it.

Who else could have done it?

But I only did it because I didn't want you and Mom to get divorced.

I understand that, sweetie.

And I'm sure you understand that the love your mom and I used to share,

it's just not something you can hack into a computer and fix.

Well, give me a big enough computer.

I mean, you can hack into the system,

and you can delete all records of our impending divorce.

But you can't change how we feel in our hearts, sweetie.

People fall in love and sometimes they fall out.

Yeah, Dad, people fall in love with each other.

Sometimes, only one of them falls out.

Sweetie.

She's not too happy with me, is she?

She just needs some time.

Look after our girl, Sam.

Okay.

Sam, now don't be rude.

That's disgusting.

Eh...

Bondi, young lady, what did I just say?

- Hm. -

Hey, Bondi, you know that I hate phones at the dinner table.

Mom, you know, the office has to be able to reach me 24/7.

- - Oh, it's not from the office.

It's a text from unknown number.

Somebody's got a crush on you.

What? What?

People don't say that word?

- Mom. - I mean, who is it?

I don't know.

I did say it was an unknown number, didn't I?

Yes, you did, dear.

You know what, though, since I've already said

that I don't like phones at the dinner table,

maybe you put the phone down and finish your dinner.

I wanna thank you all for coming on such short notice.

We are paid to be here, Chief.

And it's first thing Monday morning, Chief.

Quite right. Where was I? Oh, yes.

We learned something troubling from the intelligence

we retrieved from our last mission.

I direct your attention to the screen.

This is the earliest known photo of Daniel Hawthorne,

and I'm being quite literal about that.

There's no record of his existence

before he was arrested and had this mugshot taken.

- What was he arrested for? - Loitering.

Hanging around with no purpose.

Some guys are just born bad.

This is Hawthorne again,

on the occasion of his second arrest.

What for this time?

- Loitering with intent. - Upping his game.

He looks sad.

Of course, he's sad, he's a bad guy.

Bad guys are sad by definition.

If they weren't sad, they wouldn't be bad guys.

Yeah, I know, but trust me on this one, Chief, this guy's sad.

Be that as it may, we now have evidence he must be stopped.

- So stop him, we will. - Mm-hm.

If you're not vigilant, milk can sour before you know it.

Sure, it smells all right today, but what about tomorrow?

- You wake up one morning... -

...pour a tall glass

and that's when it hits you, pow!

A mouthful of injustice.

Finish your milk before the expiration date,

before it turns on you.

He's doing his Patton thing again.

What I'm trying to say is this guy is milk

with an approaching expiration date.

We have to stop him before he becomes completely sour.

All over the milk metaphor, Chief.

This is a photo of him

when he adopted the nickname "Alpha Dog."

Intelligence indicates he's embraced the role of arch villain

and is attempting to build some sort of new weapon.

New weapon? What's that even mean?

That we don't know. Intelligence is patchy at best.

But we know with his unit in the Council of Crime,

he's intending on using whatever it is

to unleash his evil scheme.

His secret base is located on this island.

He calls it "Wolfhound Island."

Okay, partner, this is our biggest mission yet,

and our most important.

We can't let Alpha Dog complete his plan.

We've had plenty of training with the jetpack in simulation mode.

Are you confident you can do this for real?

Like always, I'll be with you every step of the way,

so when you're safely on the island, just find a place to hide

until I'm back at command and online, okay?