9-1-1

9-1-1. What's your emergency?

Let's get him out of here before this thing blows!

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Wow.

This is way nicer than the place we stayed at last night.

And it's central to everything we're here to see.

- Disneyland? - That's a little bit further,

but Harry Potter's right over that hill.

Yay! I want a wand.

Can we afford this?

I'm using reward points we've been saving

since before Kat was born. We're good.

She's my emotional support dog.

And by refusing me entry, you are violating federal law

and risking me having a panic attack.

That's a baby.

So, the prize for winning the tournament

was a trip to the regional championship in Reno.

The prize for losing in the first round

is all the pancakes you guys can possibly eat.

- All right, so why don't you head on down

to the restaurant while I get us checked out?

-Yup. -Pickens, you come with me.

A recruiter from Duke is coming to see you when we get back.

North Carolina? I don't know.

After seeing that campus at UCLA...

Oh, you mean the California girls all over it?

Look, it can't hurt to listen to what Duke and Stanford

and what every other top school who's gonna try

and recruit you has to say.

-Whatever you say, Coach. -All right.

That's my guy. What's our motto?

-Heart of a champion. -That's right.

Still cleaning the rooms.

I guess that's what we get for arriving at checkout.

Who's hungry?

Me.

Come here.

Ooh.

*

Ali. Come on in, hon.

Can't apologize enough

for making you cool your heels in the lobby.

Been a crazy morning.

You know, I had to close the Miami deal,

conference call with the money boys in Dubai

and I'm still operating on Dallas time.

I swear, sometimes I forget where I am.

Every city starts to look the same to me.

You know, the inside of another luxury hotel suite.

So show me what you got.

Okay.

So, based on what we discussed,

I have gone back to a more Mediterranean vibe

for the townhouses.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, this is...

this is terrific work.

Do you need to get that?

Nah, it's just my wife.

There's a walking tour

that shows where they filmed old movies.

That'll pack them in.

-I need to pee. -Oh, you know where it is, honey?

-Yeah, I can find it. -Okay.

-She okay? -Yeah, yeah. I can see her.

She likes feeling grown up.

The toast is touching the eggs.

Now there's gluten in my eggs. This is all wrong.

Paisley.

Now see? You've upset her.

She's gluten intolerant, too.

Ugh. Paisley.

Paisley! Oh.

Would you like some coffee?

Oh, no. No thanks.

How about a mimosa?

In the shower?

-What? No. -What?

Are you out of your mind?

You are blowing this way out of proportion.

There is no proportional response

to being asked by your boss to shower with him.

I'm reporting this to HR and the board.

We're a publically traded company, you pig.

HR is terrified of me

and I handpicked every member of that board.

I'll invite them all to Sardinia on my boat

and they will forget they ever heard of you.

I will destroy you.

Hi. It's okay.

Don't be afraid.

Kat.

Kat!

Whoa!

-What the hell? -Earthquake.

-Go! -Kat!

Dad!

Watch out!

Kat! Kat!

-Kat! -Dad!

Paisley!

Oh, God!

Dad!

Dad! Dad!

-Pickens! -Coach!

Kat!

Kat!

Kat.

Kat!

*

-Hey, Dad. -Yeah?

Hey, Dad, do you think dogs know they're dogs?

What do you mean?

You-you know, like, I'm a person

-and a dog is a dog. -Mm-hmm.

But do dogs just think we're bigger,

less hairier, smarter dogs that walk funny?

Thank God for you, kid.

- All right. You got to hustle up.

All right?

-Love you. -Oh.

I love you, too, son.

Go to school, buddy.

You ever feel like you missed your calling, Cap?

What are you thinking?

Michelin-rated restaurant or short order cook?

I was thinking TV chef.

I mean, what you do, it's like performance art.

Mm-hmm, and much like watching cooking on TV,

we never get to taste anything.

Usually by the time it hits the table, the bell goes off.

All right, speed round.

If you weren't doing this, what would you be doing?

Fighter pilot. Topgun. Call sign: Shogun.

What about you, Hen?

Editorial cartoonist, The New Yorker.

-I have a lot to say. -You draw?

No, it's a dream. It's not supposed to be attainable.

-Topgun? You can barely drive, you rebar head. -Hey.

All right, Buckaroo.

If you were not a member of the LAFD,

what would you be doing?

Uh, I don't know.

I'm not getting fired, am I?

-That's inevitable. -He'd be a golden retriever.

No, a bartender. No, no, no, bouncer at a bar.

- A bouncer at a strip club. - What.

What.

What's going on with you, kid?

Just traffic sucks in this town

unless you're driving ten tons of engine with sirens.

It took me almost two hours to get from Abby's place

to the call center downtown, then back over here.

Just told Maddie she needs to start Ubering.

How's your sister settling in down there?

Well, she's a Buckley.

Practically running the place.

Here's how shadowing works.

I talk, you listen and hopefully you learn something

about being a dispatcher.

Questions? Save them for after my state-mandated,

ten-minute break which will be in three hours and 12 minutes.

First thing, everybody lies.

Dr. Gregory House was right about that.

Sometimes they know that they're lying.

"Oh, I had no idea that this would happen.

I just slipped and fell on that cucumber."

Other times, whatever they're experiencing

in the moment is scrambling their brains.

They are the ultimate unreliable narrators.

-Uh, who's Dr. House? -You're one of those, aren't you?

A reader.

The point is you can't trust people, only yourself.

- If it sounds like bull, it probably is.

911, what is your emergency?

I'm having chest pains.

When did the pain start?

911, what is your emergency?

I was playing pinfinger and I really messed up.

There's a knife impaled in my hand.

I-I got to get it out.

No, don't pull it out. Just leave it right there.

You would think after 14 seasons of Grey's Anatomy

that people would know this stuff.

How bad is it bleeding?

It's gushing.

Okay, the EMTs are on their way.

So, questions? No?

Good, then it's your turn.

Wait, my turn to take a call?

See one, do one, teach one.

FYI, this is the middle part.

I'll be here like training wheels.

911, what is your emergency?

Help, please. Can't breathe.