Flavia

'Chemistry is everything.' (MUSIC FADES)

'Energy, elements, invisible bonds.

And me, Flavia de Luce.

I inherited my love of both chemistry and adventure

from my mother, Harriet, whose lab this is.'

'In fact, I was almost born

on one of her adventures during the war,

according to Father.'

Mmm. Mmm!

Glad to see your appetite's come back.

Mmm, mmm!

It's these knafehs. I just can't stop eating them.

Oh, dear. I am awful.

Right.

I'm off to see a man about a stamp.

What, another? This one, my darling,

is a British Guyana two-cent Cotton-Reel

once owned by King Farouk.

Gosh, how thrilling. (CHUCKLES)

Mmm. Goodbye, Ratty.

Goodbye, Mole. Mmm.

Oh, may I?

Go on, then. Mmm.

(HORN HONKING)

Madam!

Ah!

Ah...

(WHISTLES)

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

Ooh.

Courage, my love. We can do this.

Havilland? (PANTING) Hmm?

Harriet, what's going on? Can't talk, darling!

I see.

Don't worry, we'll shake 'em.

(WOMAN SCREAMS)

(PANICKED SHOUTING)

Alright, darling? Yes, alright.

Car. Right.

I can get us to London in four days. Three if the wind is with us.

Harriet, next time The Nest sends you on a mission,

could you let me know about it? (GRUNTS)

You know I'm not allowed to discuss it.

Perhaps when we get to the airfield, I should take the yoke.

I know it's your plane, but... OK, I suppose just this once.

Ooh. Oh!

Do hurry, darling, or there'll be three of us on the plane.

(ENGINE REVS)

OK, ready? (PANTING)

Oh! Ready. (SIGHS)

(GUNFIRE)

(COOING)

Isn't she perfect? She is. (CHUCKLES)

Oh!

Harriet. Havilland.

Auntie. (SIGHS) Daphne and Ophelia.

Good morning, Aunt Felicity. Mrs Mullet.

Well, let's see this baby.

Girls, follow me, please.

Moldwarp. (WHISPERS) Pignut.

Felicity, meet.

Flavia Sabine de Luce. (COOS)

Yes, indeed. (SOFT, CURIOUS MUSIC BEGINS)

We have a new fledgling in The Nest.

I think she might just - have the stuff. - Mmm. (CHUCKLES)

Right then. I haven't much time.

Ah. Our Cairo agent gave me this shawl.

Here you are. Yes.

Let's see... (SOFTLY) Hmm.

Knit, purl. Knit, knit, purl. (CHUCKLES)

Some kind of secret code.

Well done, Harriet.

This will ruin Hitler's day.

Mrs Mullet?

Yes, ma'am.

Hmm.

(GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES)

(CHUCKLES)

Hmm.

(BUBBLING)

'Mother taught me that chemistry is the story

of how everything, the whole of creation,

is held together by invisible bonds.

And the more energy you put into these bonds,

the harder they are to break.

If only it were the same for families.

Flavia, open up.

What's the password?

Open up! It's an emergency.

(SIGHS)

What kind of emergency?

What have you done with Mummy's pearls,

you odious prawn? (GASPS)

We know you filched them.

I'm not the keeper of your trinkets.

Moldwarp. Pignut.

Why do you two always gang up on me?

Shall we tell her? It's time.

We're not really your sisters.

What? Mummy picked you up

at the home for unwed mothers. (CHUCKLES)

I don't believe you.

Besides, everyone always says I look just like Harriet.

Oh, yes, that's why she chose you.

Because of the resemblance.

That's ridiculous! No, honestly.

I'll never forget Mummy... (BUBBLING)

(BUBBLING AND SIZZLING)

(GASPS)

Those were Mummy's pearls.

She left them for me.

Do you want to know something else?

You're the reason Mummy never came back.

She couldn't bear to look at your ugly face a moment longer.

Rubbish.

Any fool can see it's an ordinary mis-perforation.

Good morning, Father, dear. Ah.

Girls. No sign of Flavia?

It's nearly 12.

'Charles Darwin once said

that the fiercest competition for survival

comes from one's own tribe.

Clearly, he had sisters.' (PANTING)

No, this won't do.

I always say better three hours too early than a minute too late.

(TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES)

To tell you the truth, Father,

Daphne and I are quite concerned about Flavia.

It's true. She's becoming positively feral.

Feral?

(GASPS)

Well, she spends all her time in Uncle Tar's laboratory doing God knows what.

Well, your mother loved that laboratory.

(PANTING) Oh...

She used Mummy's pearls as one of her beastly experiments.

And her language. You wouldn't believe the things that come out of her mouth.

Gadzooks!

The other day, she told me to... put a sock in it.

- Huh! - I think she gets it from the wireless.

(TENSE NOTES)

She ought to be sent away, really. To a proper school.

Hmm.

(TENSE MUSIC STOPS)

Hello, Father. Sisters, dear.

Beast, how did you get out?

You should've tied my thumbs together. Moron.

Flavia, a word.

How was the royal stamp exhibition, Father?

Um... You were going up to examine

a pair of Inverted Jennies, weren't you?

Well, Y-Yes. Not-Not bad, thank you.

But the, uh, the real excitement... (SIGHS HEAVILY)

Was a complete set of Rhodesian Admirals.

Father is incapable

of thinking of stamps and discipline at the same time.

Entirely ungummed.

Gosh! How thrilling.

Here we are. Hot out the oven.

Baked rabbit and onions.

Ohh, well, thank you, Mrs Mullet.