Oscar and Lucinda

**

I would have no story to tell you...

if my great-grandfather had not wagered everything...

to bring that church here to the Bellinger River,

or if Lucinda Leplastrier had not been given the Prince Rupert's drop.

Surprise!

Surprise!

Happy birthday, Lucinda.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Your own Rupert's drop. Careful. Not too tight.

Gently.

- You see? Not even with a hammer. - I'll try the ax.

Lucinda, try the pliers.

I like it just as it is. Go on.

Take the plunge. You'll see.

Just there. One, two, three.

Now! Oh!

My great-grandfather Oscar Hopkins...

had skin like his mother's.

Although the cancer had been removed...

by acid dropped onto her tender skin,

she had died anyway. Papa!

Papa!

Papa!

Go!

Go! Go!

Leave me!

Papa!

Go!

- Oscar! - Papa! Aah!

Little Oscar.

The sea, from then on, would always smell of death to Oscar.

It shall be a day like any other of the Almighty's days.

There will be no mockery of the Almighty with pagan rituals.

Others may judge and laugh,

but they are in a darkness of their own making...

and will burn in hell.

"And the light shineth in the darkness,

and the darkness comprehended it not."

Nay, we shall not use the name,

the popish name others confer upon it--

Christ's mass.

You have reclassified your mama's buttons.

Yes, Father.

The taxonomic principle being color,

with the spectrum from left to right.

With size the second principle of order.

Very good.

All right. Give me neither poverty nor riches.

Feed me with food convenient to me.

Amen. Amen.

Excuse me, sir. Would Master Hopkins help with the pollard for the pig's swill?

Very well.

Here.

What is it?

It's Christmas pudding. For you.

Well, eat up.

- -

This is the food of Satan!

Sir, it be Christmas day.

Some call it that, but none in my employ.

Well, Master Hopkins,

you will be a good helper and fetch up the specimen buckets.

Oscar had tasted the pudding.

It did not taste like the fruit of Satan.

Dear God,

if it is your desire that your flock eat pudding...

in celebration of thy birth as a man,

then show thy humble supplicant a sign.

Dear God,

if it be thy will that thy people eat pudding,

smite him! Oscar!

Oscar!

Oscar was frightened by what he had begun.

The Brethren.

Baptists.

Catholics.

Anglicans. Now his father...

no longer knew the true will of God,

Oscar devised a way of asking the question directly.

Show me a sign that thou talkest to me.

Please. Dear God, no!

God repeated the message again and again--

Anglican, Anglican, Anglican.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

Oscar did not wish to leave the shelter of the Plymouth Brethren,

but this was where God wished him to go.

That is precisely my point, Hugh.

Divine grace cannot be sought.

It is given.

Oh, look, Betty. It's a new crack.

Look, Betty. It is new.

Stop. You'll make it worse.

They appear overnight.

Do you know how much was in the plate this morning?

The walls have always been damp, Hugh. We haven't died from it.

That dissenter steals our congregation one by one.

We'll have nothing while he gets fat.

That's his boy. Yes, so it is.

Hugh, your back!

Go home! Go home! Go away! Go on!

Get off my lettuces! Off!

Wait! I am called!

I am called.

They're only raisins. He's probably unfamiliar with them.

What will your poor father do? Think of the pain you will cause him.

I know, but he is in error, you see.

He is not saved.

But still, you will go home to him.

Hugh?

I cannot, no matter how much I want to.

But surely, your father loves you.

Yes.

Very much. I also love him.

But, Hugh, the-- the cost.

- The boy is called. - Well, in what sense "called"?

He is called to holy orders.

You have had three glasses, Hugh.

I shall coach him in his articles, Betty.

He'll go to my old college.

Think of that.

Oscar knew that the Brethren prayed...

for the sinner to be returned to the fold.

But it was as impossible for him to return...

as it was for his father to order him home.

Neither would budge.

Lucinda's mother knew that she had produced...

a proud, square peg,

in the full knowledge that from coast to coast,

there were nothing but round holes.

**

Good boy.

Eight eggs!

I went for a swim.

We should have returned home after your father's death.

Returned home? To England.

I can tolerate what... I've done to myself staying on,

but I can't bear to think what I've done to you.

Mama!

You're so hot.

I'm freezing.

**

**

Hey, odd bod, hunt's on!

Odd bod! Odd bod! Odd bod! Odd bod!

No!

* There's none like Nancy Dawson *

* Alas, alack, I love the track Alas, alack I love the track *

* Alas, alack I love the track And I love Nancy Dawson *

I say, these are West's rooms.

West? No, um--

Fish. Fish, they are my rooms.

He has new rooms on this staircase. Damn it, I'm sure the scout said two.

Maybe it was one. Oh, no, please, please. Come in, come in.

Ah.

Um-- Uh--

I say, odd bod, do you like a flutter?

A flutter, Fish?

No, of course you don't. What is a flutter?

It is to do with the racetrack.

Oh. Um, ath-- athletics?

Horse races. Horses?

And, um, which part of the race involves the flutter?

A wager, a bet-- a flutter.

You do know what a bet is? No, um, I-I don't.

You give your money to chaps,

and if the horse you like is the one that wins,

then they give you double your money back--

or treble or whatever. Treble your money for-- for guessing?

Guessing correctly. You mock me.

No, no. This is all new to me.

I was raised in a little village in Devon, very much out of the way.

Look here, odd bod, I have to dash.

Perhaps you could, uh, call me Hopkins. Call you what?

My-My name-- Hopkins.

**

Do not rattle your sovereigns. You are not a plunger.

What is a plunger? A plunger? West is a plunger.

He starts off with a couple of sovs, comes up trumps,

then dabs it all down on the second and loses the lot.

Look at her. Revenger's Lass-- 3-to-1 in the first.

It's the day for a powerful bum like that. **

Look at that backside. Just look.

Now, number 10 is...

the Sailor.

Uh-- You have caught the germ.

No, no, thank you. I am corrupting you.

No, Fish. Fish, don't you see? You should not be here.

No. You are an agent of the Lord.

Whoa, odd bod. Ease up.

I have been praying to God for funds, and now...

I shall be able to pay my bills.

Quick, or we'll miss the first.

I am already damned, of course.

That's the Sailor. Fish, has that got a powerful bum?