Shakal Pe Mat Ja

This is the story of 2003.

Now you will think 2003.

The beginning itself is so boring. Right?

Hello. 2003 because..

Why US, Samy, Osama Bin Laden, the greatest terror attack ever?

Alive and rocking.

9/11.

On you tube. On Google.

Osama Bin Laden had more hits than Abhishek Bachchan.

He had become so popular.

Like a film star.

Are terrorists going to have an award function?

On one hand the entire world was in trouble.

And in a fix.

And on the other hand..

..inspired by Osama a terror group was busy trying to earn fame.

This story is also about such a terror attack.

In which..

In which.. let's watch the movie.

Terrorists and damsels living in their valleys.

Today, we welcome everyone..

..on this inauspicious occasion of World Terrorism Awards.

Today, we came on this stage ourselves..

..to give out the awards.

Because whether the police or the politician is there or not..

..you do attack.

Amazing, isn't it?

We do our duty 24 hours a day..

..but your photos are published on the internet..

..newspapers and television.

Superb.

The nominations for the most dangerous one this year is..

Come, let's take a look.

Osama Bin Laden!

Who shakes the world with his dance.

Veerappan!

No one can have a mustache like him.

Maulana Azhar!

The world knows him by his *errors.

Very good, sir. Wonderful.

And last but not the least, Rohan.

That's Rohan. Clap. Clap.

Well done Rohan. Well done! - Looking nice.

And the winner this year is..

The one who spread chaos with his fart..

Rohan, I hope its you.

Don't worry, God is with us. - The perilous Mr. Rohan. - Go.

Go, Rohan. It's you. It's you.

You won.

Congratulations. Go for it.

Clap.

Rohan won?

Thank you, man.

Oh, my ..., I love you.

You really are great. - Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Even in their dreams.

These Americans are such creeps.

Why aren't you guys serious?

Don't you want to get out of here?

Do you realise how long we have been sitting here?

Then think of something.

Your officers come one by one and question us.

We haven't done anything.

Your .. - Calm.. Calm down, will you?

What should we do with those four?

They are becoming a nuisance.

Okay.

He won't spare me.

Sir, what should we do with these four?

The boys are getting upset.

Should we stop them or should we let them go?

I suggest.. that you make them wait a little more.

And if they raise a commotion then feed them grams.

Their relatives will be here soon. - Relatives.

"I have a fearless, careless, vagabond heart."

"It does as it pleases."

"I go.. wherever my heart takes me."

"My destinations look for me."

"Smiling on me, smiling on me."

"The world's smiling on me."

"Smiling on me, smiling on me."

"The ambience is smiling on me."

"Smiling on me, smiling on me."

"The earth and the sky are smiling on me."

"Smiling on me, smiling on me."

"The world's smiling on me."

"Take a look."

"Take a look."

"Take a look."

"Take a look."

"Take a look."

"Take a look."

"Smiling on me, smiling on me."

"The earth and the sky are smiling on me."

"Smiling on me, smiling on me."

"The world's smiling on me."

"Take a look."

Saurab has tossed the coin.

Where are your terrorists?

I have kept them held up in a room.

Sir, they look like school and college going boys.

So will they look like Osama? Where did you arrest them?

Sir, they were just outside the boundary wall of runway four.

Actually, the traffic control did inform us about them.

But we caught them.

Come on.

Yes.

India's demonstration hasn't been too well..

..in the last two months.

And that's why this match is very important for India.

What are you doing?

It's just a camera.

You are examining it as if it's a bomb.

What is going on?

How can they detain us like this?

Actually..

Look, mister.. Kishore.

Nice name.

Don't misunderstand us.

My friend's dad is a well-known MLA. - Quiet.

Get in the line.

That didn't.

What is this?

This is a camera.

And mister director here is making a film with it.

He's the director?

Which movie are you making? - Yes.

It's a documentary. - What?

Documentary, you.,

We want to know who the hero in this film is.

Why are you wasting our time?

Just do what you want to.

Do you have money or do you want me to give it?

You think we are like the traffic police?

This is all you care about. - Shut up.

Relax.

Sir, Sir.

What is wrong?

Sir, these are the four who were trying to bribe me.

So, what were you doing in the airport?

Sir, your assistants are a little slow.

I have already told them five times.

We were just taking a shot of the airplane outside the airport.

But they are getting angry as I am raping them.

Yeah, we were at Jumbo point..

..and their they said it's not allowed..

..that is why we came here.

Is it allowed here? - Kishore, check them.

Don't leave anything.

Come here, come here. Stand here. - Come here, guys.

Keep your bag here. - Okay, dude.

Raise your hands and stand straight.

On one hand Osama is destroying the world..

..and you are happy in arresting us.

Just keep his photo posted on your wall.

We will take care of him too, we don't need you.

Call that long-hair one too.

Bulai, sir is calling you.

Sir, just one minute.

What is this?

It looks like a rooster's head.

It's David Beckham style.

David Beckham style.

Come on, you come next. Come on.

Sir, can you watch inside the body as well with this?

Dude, it's a metal detector,

Sir, put him in the x-ray machine.

Otherwise how will you see the bomb in his stomach?

Bomb in the stomach.

Be quiet. - No, sir, really.

There really is a bomb in his stomach.

Look.

He is serious, actually.

Yeah, its planted by expert bomb dude Ankit.

He can make a bomb, break a bomb. He can do anything.

I will show you his bomb manuals. Its really awesome.

He is like an expert in these things.

Rohan, just.. just look at their faces.

You are serious.

Mr. Kishore, don't be so serious.

This is just a joke.

These people play pranks In malls and amusement parks.

Relax. Relax. - Oh, heck!

What is he doing?

He doesn't know how to throw a ball.

You can bowl better than him.

Listen, call that one with long hair.

Go there.

Dude, I can't believe this.

I am watching a live match..

..and in an international airport.

He is talking as if he will paint the Red fort white overnight.

Check their car too.

And if you find anything, bring it here. - Okay.

Feels like.. - Stand in a line, everyone.

Come on. - Come on.

These tapes..

You are shooting as if you will do better than Mughal-e-Azam.

You have got a good sense of humour. - Nonsense.