We Are Who We Are

Do you have clippers?

Do we think that being male means...

Means knowing how to shoot guns,

and have shitty facial hair?

- Okay... Uh-huh. - Ready?

Three... two...

I don't know how things were

under the previous commander,

but now we're gonna uphold a higher standard.

Interesting family, don't you think?

Allahu Akbar.

She's a complicated child,

and they're a little...

basic.

Am I "basic" to you?

I don't want you to see those people.

They're just gonna fill your head with shit.

Well why'd you do it, huh?!

Answer me!

Daddy...

What a small head you have.

- (heavy breathing) - (gym, basketball chatter)

Teacher: Up!

Feet flat!

Keep those heels planted on the ground!

Grace, back straight!

Keep it up! Keep it up!

Jimmy, you're slowing down! Come on!

Don't be afraid of messing up your hairdo!

Up!

Up!

- Up! - (chatter continues)

Up!

Up!

Up!

Push-ups!

Ready! Up!

Up!

Up!

Up!

Up!

Up!

Up!

Jesus Christ, haven't you had enough, GI Jane?

Who's GI Jane?

It's an old movie about this woman soldier

- who shaves her head. - (sighs) Is it good?

Fraser: I don't really like sailors.

- Come on! Up, up, up, up, up! - (flapping book)

- Okay. - Give me your paw.

- Cate: So, how would you kill yourself? - You make a vertical cut.

Otherwise, it's much less effective.

Hanging seems nice. What do you know about knots?

Uh, well I didn't learn how to tie my shoe until I was, like,

like, 12, so I'm still not entirely comfortable with the process.

If you don't snap your neck, you choke to death.

Drowning, river, sea.

Nice. Very poetic.

Thank you. When I was 8 years old,

they found me with my father's pistol jammed in my mouth.

I have no idea why I did it.

- I seemed like such a happy little girl. - Wow.

The bullshit you concoct.

- I'll be down in 10. - You made that up, right?

- Caitlin: Yeah, sure. - (hall chatter)

Anyway, river or sea, it doesn't make a difference.

You die of a heart attack before you hit the water.

- Barbiturates? - Could go either way.

Fraser: And if you survive, they find you covered in vomit.

- It's a double humiliation. - Caitlin: As if we haven't had enough.

You know, I'll never kiss a girl again.

I'm never kissing anyone again.

I'm turning into a monster.

- Hey. - Hey.

We're still friends.

Call me, if you want to.

Of course I'll call you, Brit.

Probably the hair.

- What are we doing this weekend? - Well,

I'm grounded for life, but my dad's taking me out somewhere.

What about you?

Planning on being bored now.

- Look, I know how you feel about the locker room... - Mm-hmm.

But that shirt is ugly and dirty,

and-and you're stinking.

- (school bell ringing) - (school chatter)

Very proud of that SAT score!

Keep it up! Very proud of you!

Text me.

- Man: Hey! Kayla! - Kayla: Hey, Dad!

Over here, honey.

- Girl 1: So unfair! - Girl 2: See you later!

("Time Will Tell" by Blood Orange playing)

- Thank you, that was very kind. - Thank you.

Fraser Wilson.

Sign here, please.

Thanks.

Man 1: Next. Can I help you, sir?

You wanna send this, uh, express?

Could you grab me some packing tape?

- (frustrated sigh) -Man 2: Alright, thank you very much.

Man 1: It's right over there.

- Uh... - Soldier (over intercom): IDENTIFY YOURSELF.

Uh, Fraser. Fraser Wilson.

- (rattles knob) - (sighs)

- (rattles knob) - (Sarah chattering)

Sarah: It's an honor for us.

- Huh... - Sarah: I was told things didn't go smooth last year.

Major Duncan?

Duncan: There was some confusion regarding accommodations.

Woman: Hi, Fraser. You can sit in Jonathan's office.

Hi.

- (doors opening) - (Duncan chattering)

Sarah: Of course! It's my favorite lunch table.

- Hey! - (thud)

- Hi. Hi... hey there. - Were you looking for your mother?

Yeah. No! Uh, uh...

Uh, could I... could I wait here since her door's closed?

Of course. She's in the middle of a meeting,

but she should be done soon.

A-actually, I-I'll just come back later when she's less busy.

Are you sure? She's almost done.

- Fraser: Okay. - Sarah: Right. We've decided to restrict the use...

Okay...

- It's okay. - Sarah: Or better still, to refresh everyone's memory

because we've received reports of improper uses in town.

Seems some soldiers have used their uniforms to pick up women.

Which is understandable because some of them need all the help

they can get. - (laughter)

Jonathan, would you please read the rules?

Just looking at them, I get a parched throat.

Jonathan: Of course. The use of military uniforms is

- without exception, forbidden outside the base -(sniffing)

with the sole exception of travel to and from

- personal housing facilities and installations -(sniff)

- and riding in an authorized, - (drops object)

governmental, or rented vehicle.

- The use of the military uniform is permitted in hotels -(giggle)

only upon arrival and departure,

but in no case is permitted in the common areas.

The use of the uniform is authorized

in fast food drive-thrus,

and at gas stations,

as long as the uniformed personnel

remains inside the vehicle.

The Commander-in-Chief invites privates

who travel by motorbike,

bicycle, and on foot to not carry backpacks

with logos or signs that refer directly

or are associated with the DOD.