Dead of Night

Welcome back to the nuthouse, you motherfuckers.

Tonight we have a very special guest.

This sick bastard went on a spree 10 years ago...

and killed eight people... including his own son... with a claw hammer.

I give you Tom Hanson.

Show them your face.

Show them your face!

Come on! Show them your face!

Show 'em your face!

Give it to me! Give me the Taser!

- (YELLING, WHIMPERING) - Give me the Taser!

Anyways, let's get back to what you paid for.

First up is a request from Lumberjack28...

who wants to see me shove Pokey up his ass.

Oh, Jesus, Paula, stop already.

What the fuck are you doing using my real name?

- I cut. - Are you gonna pussy out, too, like Steve?

- No, it... - I told you you'd get paid.

Now get to work, bitch.

- Oh, shit. - Oh, shit, he's gone!

Oh, shit! Shit!

Shut up! I've got this.

Keep the camera rolling.

Come out, piggy, piggy.

Come to Mama.

Tom, it's time to come out!

You do not want to keep Mama waiting.

- Oh, Paula, look out! - (SCREAMS)

Oh, no! No, don't!

Please don't! Oh, God! Help! Help!

No! No!

Please. Don't. No, no, no. Please don't.

Please. Don't. No, no, no.

Don't. Please. Don't do it!

Don't! No!

Oh, God!

- (SOBBING) No. - (CHUCKLING)

This isn't art class, Emily. This is science.

Good Lord.

And this isn't art.

- Emily, I just don't know what to say. - I'm sorry.

- We'll discuss this later. - (GIRL CLEARS THROAT)

- Freak. - (LAUGHTER)

- (BOY) Theresa! - (MOUTHING) What?

I hope to see some of you in church this Sunday.

Emily, could you stay behind, please? I'd like a word with you.

So, here we are again.

You're not getting this back.

Please, Miss Miller, they're just drawings.

They are a cry for help.

No, I promise, I won't draw like this anymore.

When you demonstrate that for the rest of the term, we'll see what we can do.

- But... - The road to salvation can be difficult, my dear...

full of trials and tribulations.

- Your father was an evil man deep inside... - I'm not like him.

Well, of course you're not. Of course you're not.

But you need to open yourself up...

and accept Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, into your heart.

I want you to draw him.

That's where you'll find salvation.

- But the story, it helps me... - Enough, Emily.

You do know what happens to sinners, don't you?

They burn in hell.

That's what's going to happen to your parents.

Is that what you want for yourself?

Well, is it?

Emily! Come back here. You walk out that door, you're suspended!

- (GRUNTS) - Sorry.

- Are you all right? - (GIRL) Jason.

Jason, I have the perfect idea for tonight.

I just can't take it anymore.

Maybe we could go over to my house later...

Hey. So did she give you back your book?

Kind of. I think I'm suspended though.

Seriously? Damn. What are you gonna do?

I don't want to talk about it.

Okay, it's cool.

About Frank's party tonight, I really want to go.

No. I told you I have to look after Jeremy. Stop asking.

Emily, it's really weird how you started talking about your brother lately.

What's weird about it? He's my brother.

You said you'd come hang out with us. Remember?

Come on, Emily. Everyone's gonna be there.

Seriously? Tonight?

Yeah. I mean, wouldn't you rather get out...

instead of stay there where it all went down?

- Oh, my God. I am so sorry. - Oops.

- Let me help you clean it off. - I don't need help.

No, it's gonna stain. Come on.

So, are you going to Frank's tonight?

- I'm thinking about it. - Oh, you totally should. It's gonna be so much fun.

I promise you'll have a good time.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

So.

- You have the hots for my boyfriend? - No.

Don't lie. It makes you look crazy.

I'm not lying.

Yes, you are.

You're a crazy little white trash bitch.

Do you really think that he would have anything to do with you?

- No. - That's right.

'Cause you're a worthless little maniac girl.

Oh, don't worry.

- I know what you should do. - Wait!

Stop! No!

- Say "I'm a crazy bitch"! - No!

- (TOILET SEAT CLATTERING) - Stop it, please!

- Say it! - Please stop! I didn't do...

Say "I am a crazy bitch."

- I didn't do anything! - Yeah, that's right.

- (TOILET FLUSHING) - And you're never gonna get a boyfriend...

because you're a crazy little bitch!

- Nobody likes you. - I'm not crazy!

- Say it! - No... No!

- (COUGHING, GASPING) - Say "I am a crazy bitch."

- I won't say it! - "Crazy bitch."

- I'm not crazy! - Say it.

I won't!

- Say it! - (GASPING, CHOKING)

Say it for the camera. "Crazy bitch"!

I'm a crazy bitch.

I'm a crazy bitch.

I'm a crazy bitch.

- (CRYING, COUGHING) - Nice one.

This is Alice. Leave a message.

Hi, Emily.

Hello, Sheriff. How do you do?

How are you holding up?

Hmm. Your mom late again?

I guess.

Get in. I'll give you a ride.

It's no trouble. Come on now.

14 at Willow and Jupiter.

No sign of Saint Bernard.

Dispatch. Dispatch. This is Jacobs.

Got low tire pressure.

Do you have any advice about which gas station to head down to?

- (SHERIFF) So, how's school going? - Okay.

Well, here we are.

Say hi to your mom.

I will. Thanks for the ride.

Tell her, if she ever wants to talk, I'm here.

Okay. Thank you, Sheriff.

Well, uh, take care tonight.

Yes, sir.

10-45 at Exit 36 on Highway 5.

Mom?

Mom?

Oh, my God. What time is it?

Oh. I set the alarm. I'm sure I did.

I'm sorry. I was supposed to pick you up.

That's okay. The sheriff gave me a ride again.

Well, that was nice of him.

- I think he likes you. - Aw...

- Oh, no. - What?

Hold on.

Hey. Can you put him on?

Darryl, come on. Please. I can't, not tonight.

You don't understand. I need to be...

I told you weeks ago.

Well, can't Lisa cover?

No...

You wouldn't.

Okay. I'll come...

Yeah, fine. Okay.

Mom, I'm fine. Don't worry about it.

You sure?

Aw. I love you.