Being Human

Annie was killed by Owen.

We've been deluding ourselves we could ever be accepted

by proper human beings. We are monsters.

Everything Owen and I ever had can go to ash.

They're only human? Then it's our mistake wanting to be like them.

I'm in.

This programme contains some strong language.

'We meet people and fall in love

'and when we part they leave marks for us to remember them by.

'Our lovers sculpt us.

'They define us, for better or worse.

'Like a pinball, we slam into them and rebound in a different direction,

'propelled by the contact.

'And after the parting, we might be scarred.

'But stronger.

'Or more fragile,

'or needy, or angry,

'or guilty.

'It's never unchanged.

'Our lovers linger inside us like ghosts...

'haunting the corridors and deserted rooms.

'Sometimes whispering.

'Sometimes screaming.

'Invisible, but...

'always there.

'Waiting.'

More jam.

How many is that now?

That's...eleven jars.

I wonder what it is about us that says "we need jam."

It's a gesture. They feel guilty.

Yeah, so was writing "paedo" on the front door.

I'm going to haunt Owen. OK.

I think that's why I'm still here.

In fact I'm certain, and I thought

finding out what happened would be it, but there's clearly more to it because, well,

look, I haven't gone. Mmm.

Have you spoken to Mitchell? Chance would be a fine thing. I've barely seen him, have you?

Not since the other night, when...

well, since the accident. Do you need any help?

Um...

..yeah.

Thanks, but I don't really know what I'm going to do yet, but...

Right, well, can I just state for the record, that I understand

why you're doing this, but I don't want you to go.

Noted.

The door opens and it's the hotel manager!

And he kind of stops.

I'm having a cigarette, and Mitchell's face is like,

covered with blood, and there's this dead girl lying on the bed.

Which reminds me, she's coming by later.

So the manager is standing there, staring at this scene

and then there's this kind of silence.

And Mitchell says... LAUGHS

"Ah, tomb service."

LAUGHTER

I can't tell you how delighted I am to welcome Mitchell back.

These are exciting times, my friends,

and I know I've said it before... Look, they're rolling their eyes.

They know what I'm going to say. But it's true!

Come on, say it with me.

No-one gets left behind!

Behind. Come here.

Er...

I just want to say thank you for taking me back.

I've seen what humanity is really like and this is where I belong.

I'm home now.

Maybe you can explain something.

A funeral parlour? This has been bothering me.

Aren't we skirting a little close to a cliche here?

Well, there's a practical reason.

After they've died, the recruits, this is where they're brought.

But there's more to it than that.

Our very existence is a union of life and death.

Cemeteries, hospitals, funeral parlours,

are all places where the two worlds meet and overlap.

We feel at home here.

These are our churches.

Plus there's plenty of room for storage.

It is so great to have you back.

Owen.

Owen!

Oh, is that it?

It's rubbish, isn't it?

What would Patrick Swayze do? What do you mean?

Well, what effect do you want to have?

Maybe it would help if we knew what you wanted to achieve.

I want him to confess, I guess. So tell him.

"Confess!"

Confess!

Put a bit of a hiss on the end there - fessss!

Confessss!

Confesssss!

Yeah, that was nice. Throw in some spooky stuff as well.

You know like, "I am...

"I am darkness! I am death!"

I am darkness!

I am death!

It's not like the films, is it?

We don't even know if he's going to be able to see you.

Oh, he'll be able to see me.

Everything's different now.

I know what I'm supposed to do.

Well, maybe we're underestimating what just that will do to him.

You know what I said about making him confess.

It's not just that.

I want to scare him,

to make him...

cry and beg and scream.

It's not just about justice.

It's more jagged than that.

Is that wrong?

It's human.

Not everything about being human is nice.

You know how this works.

Come in.

Ready to spread a little joy?

Duncan Johnson. 41 years old.

AIDS related Cytomegalovirus. He's got about five weeks, tops.

What does he do?

He's an engineer.

Now, you know what I wanted to be?

An architect.

I had this little picture book when I was a kid.

Spires and castles, cathedrals.

I'd kind of dream of them, you know.

And my own buildings too, they're like...

coloured blocks,

scattered across a mountainside.

I still dream about that picture book.

And now there's this.

This...chose me.

Herrick. Don't frighten him.

He hasn't come to terms with what's happening to him yet.

He's angry and scared and...

he doesn't want to die.

Who does?

Mr Johnson?

Please don't be alarmed.

Forgive me if I dispense with the niceties.

no-one more than you knows that time is of the essence.

Now, my name is William Herrick.

And I have a proposition for you...

Yeah, it just stopped working again. Uh-huh.

Yeah, I'm turning it now.

No, not even a rattle.

Could you? That would be great.

Um, six...seven?

Yeah, well, if I'm not here, then just let yourself in. Lovely.

OK, yep, see you then.

It's done.

Owen's coming.

Black coffee.

No sugar, just a splash of cold water from the tap.

Hello, Josie.

My God. Is it really you?

You haven't changed.

Neither have you.

Liar.

What are you doing here?

I live here. I work here. You?

Oh, we moved here when my husband retired.

You're married.

Oh, he died. Five years ago.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What about you? No.

Just me. As ever.

All alone. No, I have a house I share with some friends.

Are they...?

They're not vampires, they're something else.

We came here to Bristol, one weekend, do you remember?

The Clifton Hotel. Mr and Mrs McCartney.

It was the sixties. Beatlemania. It was the first thing I could think of.

I stole my mother's wedding ring. We only left the hotel was to buy more cigarettes and chocolate.

Sorry, we need to talk. All right, George.

This is Josie. George is one of the people I talked about.

Oh, right, hi.

Yeah, hi. Josie and I dated for a while.

In the sixties.

It's fine. She knows about us, it's cool.

Right, er, yes...

Right...um...

What do you want to talk about?

Er...we can talk later.

That was mean.

What? Why? Mitchell. You just outed him.

So why are you here? Are you sick?

Lung cancer.

Can they...? No.

Look at you.

Frozen...like a photograph.

George!

Why, why bother?

Hello, you.

I hope you're not going to take that out of their deposit. Annie?

Not any more.

I am darkness.

I am death,

vengeance and fury.

Fire and blood.