West Michigan

Jesus Christ, Hannah,

you've been in there for hours.

Hannah?

Hannah?

Hannah?

It hasn't been hours.

It's been three hours.

I'm taking a massive shit.

I don't believe you.

What are you doing?

Confronting the realization that the term microscopic

is relative, and through a different perspective

the Earth itself is microscopic,

and everything people choose to do

is just an activity to pass time

until we all just eventually die.

Could you say that again?

I couldn't really hear you.

I'm just reading.

Can you unlock the door?

Mom's worried about you, too.

You called mom?

Yeah, I mean you're going on hour three in here,

I thought she should know.

Mom and dad have a lot to worry about

with grandpa right now.

I don't want them coming back for some bullshit,

because you made them worry about me.

I don't think you have to worry about that,

they're pretty busy up there.

Oh.

Hey, you hungry?

Want to get a Pronto Pup?

Yeah.

Pronto Pup, Pronto Pup, Pronto Pup!

Hey, imagine retirement.

You're still in college.

No, it's something to look forward to.

- I want to leave. - Hmm?

I want to leave.

Wait wait, that's on a movie.

No no, there's a bunch of guys sitting around,

they just graduated college.

And one of them says,

"I wish I was retiring after years of hard labor."

Charlie let's walk to the car.

Wait wait, what is it?

No, I,

God this is gonna bother me all day.

Come on, Charlie, I'm not.

God, what is it?

Okay, I'm leaving.

Hannah.

Hannah!

Hey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How's he doing?

God, that's, that's awful.

Yeah, we can head up tomorrow.

Okay.

Yeah, I love you too.

Mom?

Yeah.

Grandpa's in the hospital.

Damn.

She wants us to go up as soon as we can.

Gotta get work off.

Me too.

Is he gonna be all right?

We'll see.

He'll probably die.

Don't say that.

It's true.

He's old and in the hospital,

and all of my friends' grandparents are already dead,

so it's only a matter of time.

He could pull through.

No, no.

Come on.

I quit being so optimistic.

What's wrong with optimism?

Charlie, think of it this way.

What if you set a cookie next to a hungry dog,

and then you told me that I could have the cookie.

In fact, this cookie was mine.

The only reason I wouldn't have the cookie

was if it was eaten by the hungry dog.

I would probably be confused because

you're so confident that I would get this cookie,

but the hungry dog is right, right there.

Grandpa's the cookie?

The cookie's a metaphor for all unrealistic expectations.

So grandpa's life?

Fine, grandpa's the cookie.

You know, we could make this a fun trip.

We could pack the camping gear.

No, I hate camping, we're not going camping.

Camping's fun.

Camping is literally Satan as an activity.

Oh come one, we could go to Tahquamenon.

Oh, shut up.

No, shut up, I got to get work off.

I'm sorry.

Oh, it's all right, I'll be fine.

He was getting pretty old.

No, I'm sorry but I cannot let you leave.

Oh, excuse me?

Have you found someone to cover your shift?

It's such short notice.

It is.

I'm sorry, Lady, but this is a family emergency.

Did you just call her lady?

Oh no.

Yes, but that's actually her name.

Don't talk to our customers like that, Hannah.

Jesus.

Don't take the Lord's name in vain.

Listen Lady, I've enjoyed working here

but this is a family emergency.

We've tried to foster a family for you right here.

Okay, I'm out.

You get work off?

No.

No?

No, I either quit or was fired, I'm not quite sure.

You got everything in here?

What time should we leave tomorrow, nine, 10?

Let's do 10.

Come on, we should get some sleep.

Howdy.

Renting a kayak?

Yeah.

Have fun.

Thanks.

Tyler, listen to me.

I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you.

You need to leave me alone.

What are you putting back there?

Oh, I just forgot to pack something last night.

Tina's a bitch.

Who's Tina?

My best friend.

Oh yeah, Tina.

No, I got ya.

You don't remember Tina, do you?

No.

Never mind.

Well, hold on, just because I don't know Tina

doesn't mean I can't recognize if she's being a bitch.

You're not friends with Tina.

You're not allowed to talk shit about her.

Okay, well what'd she do?

She's just giving me hell

about not being able to hang out this weekend.

Because you're visiting your dying relative?

Yes.

Does she not understand?

She's not great at picking up

on other people's existences.

You said, "dying relative."

No, I said dying, I didn't say going to die.

That's the exact same thing.

There's literally no difference

between dying and going to die.

There is totally a difference,

one is much more definitive than the other.

Stop it.

Just turn off your phone.

I've tried.

It's not a permanent solution.

When have you tried?

Every time I go to the movies or church or take a nap.

Church?

Yeah, you shouldn't have your phone on in church.

When do you go to church?

Oh, I see, thank you for the judgment.

No, I'm not judging you.

You can believe in whatever you want, I don't care.

If you really believe that

you wouldn't have reacted that way.

Okay, I see it.

Now you're judging me, for judging you.

Now you're judging me for judging you.

What?

You know, the river runs both ways.

That's definitely not how the expression goes.

It's not even possible.

You want to make a stop?

Sure.

Hey, what do you think?

Okay, Mister Rogers.

No, Mister Rogers wears cardigans.

They're not the same.

Selsun Blue.

What?

Yeah, that's what your sweater reminds me of,

a bottle of Selsun Blue.

The dandruff shampoo?

Yes.