The Simpsons

How's the ice cream, kids? - Great!

Who's ready for a kitten?

- I am! - Make mine calico!

Here you go.

this whole morning has been wonderful.

Too wonderful.

You're right; this is it.

They're selling us to be crash test dummies!

Oh, please let it be volvo.

Oh, you children are too suspicious.

It's go time.

it's shot day!

welcome to hell... man avenue medical plaza.

children, you should be grateful you live in a country

where childhood diseases have been practically...

Karate!

That hobo skeleton is not a toy!

This is ridiculous.

Only babies and ex-junkies are afraid of needles.

Stick me, chuckles!

can I have a lollipop?

Well, that just leaves bart.

Don't forget maggie!

I got her when your heads were turned.

Got her good!

Now, bart, just look out the window.

It'll take your mind off the pain.

And when you're done, I've got more lollies!

No, thanks.

I already helped myself.

see you later, inoculator!

he can run, but nobody escapes the needle.

Darlene, cancel all my appointments.

But I need that kidney now.

black-on-black violence must end.

That was for dr. King.

Don't feel bad, doc.

I won't even let my mom clip my toenails.

I guess you're just too smart for me, bart.

What?

thanks, barney.

Moe, we won't need you now.

Okay, well, I really enjoyed being you, dr. Hibbert.

Oh, by the way,

you're not welcome in the library no more.

I'm sorry.

Now, that wasn't so bad, was it, bart?

You know, sometimes the fear of...

whoa, something's wrong!

Ah, ah, I can't hear!

Doctor! Perform a diagnosis!

I'm afraid the inoculation has swollen his ear holes shut.

Maybe this would be a good time to talk about side effects.

The boy's hearing should clear up in a day.

If it doesn't, call me in the bahamas.

For now, he can express himself with this complimentary pen.

Cool!

Oh, it's a good pen. Try it out.

That was a malpractice waiver, fool!

Stop it, homer!

Give your wallet, kid!

We're gonna identity theft your ass!

he's just standing his ground!

He knows that deep down, all bullies are cowards!

We're undone!

I know what you're hiding, lad.

Willie's been deaf since the boiler explosion of '88.

But I taught myself to read lips.

Mornin', willie!

What'd you say about me mother?!

For your information,

her feet stink 'cause she works in manure all day!

But it's still the best darn starbucks in glasgow!

Bart, pass the ketchup.

Bart, pass the ketchup!

Dad, he's deaf.

Oh, sorry, right.

Bart, pass the corn.

Bart, pass the corn!

I think you should stay home from school tomorrow.

But mom, tomorrow's the big donkey basketball game.

The kids are gonna play the teachers.

Donkey basketball?

Now I've heard everything.

Unlike you!

everybody, remember that for when his hearing comes back.

Switch!

welcome, everyone, to the annual donkey basketball classic.

I'm sure that "mule" enjoy it.

man, tough crowd.

Would everyone just rise for our national anthem?

hey, donkey, want a carrot?

psyche!

good lord!

Bart's mooning the flag!

Don't look, buttermilk.

how dare he?!

That's the flag my grandpappy rebelled against!

When you insult the flag,

you insult my flag tattoo!

what'd ye say about me mother?

you'll fry up nice tonight!

Your child's behavior appalls me,

not just as a principal,

but as a veteran of america's only losing war.

To date.

I swear, bart didn't know what he was doing.

He was deaf.

Oh, sure, marge--

just like "blind bart,"

"wheelchair bart,"

"pregnant bart,"

and my personal favorite,

"railroad-spike- through-head bart."

kids love trains.

Hey, fellas, my hearing's back.

Congratulations...

traitor!

Thank you-- and let me say,

I missed your sweet, sweet voices.

Cram it, iraqi!

Why'd you dis the flag?

It partied on the moon!

Weren't we afraid of him just a few days ago?

We're complex!

All right, who can take a story and blow it way out of proportion?

I'm your man, boss!

I want you to overhype this story so much,

it makes the new york post look like the new york times.

Or the new york times look like the new york post.

I forget which one the good one is.

I did not come to this country illegally to see it mocked.

There's the boy who bared his bottom to old glory.

And the family that applauds his every moonery.

They hate our country,

but they love our soapy water!

Hey, benedict arnold,

our cups don't want your colorful balls.

No one calls me unpatriotic.

hey, guys.

Oh, cold shoulder, huh?

Well, I'll just talk to myself.

Hey, how ya doing, homer?

Oh, not too bad. How about you?

Oh, I'm fine. Your wife was great in bed last night.

You keep your hands off my wife!

Oh, yeah? Well, I give her what she needs.

And she like...

homer! Stop it!

This bar's only for real americans.

And people on permanent visas, like me.

What? What are you all looking at? I'm dutch.

Eh, forget all of you.

I'm leaving, too--

I'm gonna go listen to the president's weekly radio address.

And not the rebuttal!

Good-bye, homer.

I can't get drunk and vomit next to a guy I don't respect.

Even my best friends have left me.

I'm all alone!

We've become pariahs!

In the last two hours, I've gotten 1,000 hate spams.

y'ello.

Appear on your tv show?

Tell our side of the story?

You'll see us there?!

Good-bye?!

Dial tone?!

If there's one way to get the truth out,

it's on a cable news channel.

When we explain our side of the story,

the hate calls will end.

I won't have to hear, "suck my such and such"

or "hell this" and "bitch that"...

we get it, mom.

No, no, let her finish...

Look, what should I say to make people not hate me?

Son, I've learned one thing in this life:

To stay out of trouble, just say nothing.

Don't rock the boat.

Don't even get in the boat.

Just buy some ice cream and walk around the pier.

But don't go in the bathrooms,

they're filthy.

Dad, I am going on a talk show.

I have to say something.

Talk about boats!

Then when he asks you if you hate this country,

you just start crying and pretend you don't.

But I don't hate this country.

There, there, save your lies for the american public.

I'm nash castor, and it's time to butt heads.

Bart simpson, what do you hate most about this country?

Is it the freedom?

Nash, I've realized something.

I'm the worst kid in the world,

and the last thing I deserve is forgiveness.

But with a little help from jesus

and our fighting men and women overseas...

all right, so if I hear you correctly,