Connecting...

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‐

‐ Is there a game tonight?

It's not cool having secret games

you don't tell me about, Rufus‐‐

‐ I'm not here for the poker.

I'm just here to hide from Garrett

and his incessant planning.

He keeps sending me emails

to see if I got his emails.

‐ I know! It's a trip to Big Bear,

not the plot to "Inception."

I love these piña coladas.

You know, it's the only way I can get lit

and still make my deliveries. ‐ Hey,

you don't need to fake drink to have a fake good time.

‐ Disagree.

Ugh, I cannot wait for this trip.

I'm so sick of my apartment.

I miss people.

For a while the deliveries were taking the edge off,

but now people don't even come to the door.

They just leave a little sign

that says "leave food on porch."

‐ Mine just says "no."

Speaking of, uh, human interaction,

you heard from Annie?

She's been radio silent lately.

‐ Huh.

You know, Ben's been strangely nonparticipatory as well.

You don't think they're being strangely nonparticipatory

together, do you?

‐ I mean, I kinda do now.

‐ Ugh, I wish they would just get it over with and smash.

Cis sexual tension just tires me.

‐ You know? Me too.

‐ What, what!

‐ Hey! ‐ Whoo!

‐ We think Ben and Annie hooked up!

‐ What? Yes!

Finally! Bannie!

Wait, are we all hiding from Garrett in here?

‐ 100%. ‐ Hiding, drinking...

‐ Look, after watching Amy Cooper almost kill a Black man

and a dog today, I could sit through

100 Garrett PowerPoint presentations

just to escape the madness for a bit.

Rufus! You're too far away.

Come give me a hug. ‐ No, no, no, no, no.

Michelle, you know how I feel about hugs.

‐ Yes, and I'm actively choosing to ignore you.

Hugs, hugs, hugs.

Hugs with people.

Hugs, hugs, hugs. ‐ For real?

‐ No. For virtual.

‐ You've been hiding from me?

That's not why I got you these headsets.

‐ Yes, but it is a wonderful bonus.

‐ Big Bear PowerPoint starts in five.

I need everyone to be present and focused.

I have planned this trip to the last detail.

One misstep, one person messes up,

and the whole thing is ruined.

Traveling during a pandemic is not fun and games.

I need everyone to take this seriously.

‐

‐ Uh‐oh! Uh‐oh!

‐ In a world where it's unsafe to leave your homes,

one group of friends would redefine our notions

of extra‐precautionary measures

in order to prepare for...

Operation Big Bear.

Yes! We made it!

In 24 hours, our safe bubble commences.

‐ Yes! Human contact!

‐ Adult, non‐husband human contact.

‐ Anxiety‐inducing human contact.

‐ I need this so bad.

2020 has been like a constant steady stream of body blows,

and this trip is giving me something to live for!

‐ Can I renew my strenuous objections?

None of us have Type O blood;

if we get this thing, we're all dead.

‐ Wait, are you backing out?

‐ No, I'm backing in...

to my sealed and sterilized tent I'll be setting up in New York.

If any of you need me,

I'll join all group activities from my phone.

‐ Rufus, you still think it's dangerous?

Come on, we've been so good!

‐ No, I don't think. I know.

‐ Well, this is actually a good segue

into my first slide.

And y'all have, so give yourselves a pat on the back.

Now, I know that it's been hard

doing my ultra‐tight 14‐day quarantine,

but now it is time to reap the rewards.

‐ Yes! ‐ Oh, come to papa.

‐ Seven beds, nine baths,

a pool and a hot tub overlooking the lake.

And it would not be

Scandinavian design without a sauna.

Your sacrifices have not been in vain.

Tomorrow, we will escape our dystopian existence,

flee this city,

and give each other hugs for realsies.

Except for Rufus who hates hugs

and will be in a tent.

Now, supplies.

Who has brought forth the Lysol Wipes?

See? This is why I didn't want

to start without Ben and Annie.

This is their department.

What's going on, guys? Where's Ben and Annie?

‐ We have our suspicions.

‐ Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.

‐ Apology accepted. Where are the Lysol Wipes?

Annie's got them. I talked to her earlier.

‐

‐ Was she not supposed to get them?

‐ You got your hair done.

‐ Oh! Yeah, I did.

I‐I did it myself.

You know, it took a long time, but I got it done‐‐

‐ Brother man, you went from Tim Meadows to Allen Iverson.

You did not do that yourself. ‐ And you got lined up.

You know you can't use your left hand.

‐ Yes, I can! I've been practicing.

‐ There is no way you did that by yourself!

If you don't tell all of us what is going on,

I will start a podcast until I solve this mystery.

‐ Ben, did you maybe get some help?

‐ Yeah, maybe someone did it for you?

‐ We haven't really heard from you or Annie recently.

Did you maybe‐‐ ‐ Okay, fine! You got me.

All right, we went to the barbershop,

but they were extra‐‐ ‐ Wait, I heard a "we" in there!

Guys, I‐‐ ‐ Oh, "we"!

‐ Wait!

Together: A barbershop?

‐ Michelle, did your brother just say

he broke my very clear quarantine instructions

to go to the barbershop? ‐ Relax!

Okay, everything was outdoors.

They never took the mask off. I'm good.

‐ Typical B‐positive.

You are the Pisces of blood types!

‐ Breathe, baby.

‐ Do you smell pennies?

‐ Ben, how dare you pollute my extreme excitement for you

with my extreme disappointment in you?

Were the rules strict? Yes.

Yes, they were,

but we all followed them anyway

because this was important to Garrett.

And more importantly, to me. ‐ And more importantly for me!

I needed this, and you wrecked it with your mysterious "we,"

which I'm also excited about,

and your weird, celebratory haircut afterwards.

‐ Very excited and very disappointed.

‐ Pradeep, are you really doing this right now?

‐ Yes! I call out injustice when I see it‐‐

‐ When you know good and damn well

you brought your housekeeper back.

‐ Oh!

‐ This is really about Ben, Garrett.

I want you to remember that.

‐ Pradeep, is this true?

‐ I had a weak moment. Okay?

One time, like two weeks ago.

Which is when

we scheduled weekly visits, so...

‐ Oh, God. ‐ A weekly weak moment.

‐ Three times! I got one haircut once.

‐ Wha‐‐ men are just so selfish.

‐ I‐I'm sorry.

Truly, Garrett, I tried, but‐‐

you know, you guys don't have kids.

And we needed help.

Our housekeeper, our nanny, our gardener‐‐

together: Nanny? ‐ Whoa.

‐ That's right!

Our occasional nanny.

They are barely keeping me and Richie above water.

‐ Does anybody else see black spots?

‐ In and out, baby. ‐ Garrett,

we took every precaution.

We wore masks.

We took each other's temperatures.

We broke your quarantine rules respectfully and responsibly.

‐ How could you?

And the lying makes it worse, Pradeep.

The lying makes it worse.

‐ Oh, does it, Ellis?

Does the lying make it worse?

‐ Yes, it does. It makes it sting.

‐ Ellis goes to an illegal SoulCycle speakeasy.

‐ ‐ What?

‐ They won't let me cancel my membership

and I need to work off all that dumb sourdough