Qarib Qarib Singlle (करीब करीब सिंगल)

The same complaints, amma!

How do you expect dad to not eat your pudding?

Just keep the sweet stuff out of the fridge.

Do I need to come to Trivandrum to deal with this?

And please, for God's sake, don't put my picture on the Whatsapp group.

Aunty fried my brains for a good half hour today.

"You're looking so beautiful. Are you seeing someone?"

Jaya!

Hi!

Come... come.

Mum, I'll call you later. Bye!

I'm so excited!

Congratulations!

Thank you!

How lovely you're looking!

God! Can you imagine?

This is happening!

I am actually getting married.

I know... I know.

Who'd have thought I'd find a husband on Tinder?

So cute, isn't he?

Especially in this suit.

I know.

Ronnie... come here.

You remember, I told you about that college senior whose husband died...

I'm so sorry.

No, no... It's okay. It's alright.

He was in the Army.

I'm so sorw. - It's okay. It's been 10 years now.

It's alright.

Are you eating well?

Just because there's no one to chase after you...

Bro, chill.

And what's this act about being sick?

Just admit it sis, that you're missing me. And that's why you're in my room.

Oh, please!

Get lost, kid!

I've finally got my freedom. - Yeah, right!

I have the whole house to myself.

I' In this big of' world, I'

'Just About Single'

Good morning!

Mukesh, the report... in an hour.

Listina.

Scan every page in this file.

Yes, ma'am.

Er... ma'am... - Right now!

Your brother was around all this while.

Eventually your friends' kids will leave the nest too.

And Komal's cat...

What's her name?

Zinky?

Zinky.

She'll pop it in a few years, too.

I'm just calculating. How many more excuses?

You need action, woman.

If you turn virgin again?

What?

I'm telling you...

the gates can grow back, girl!

What gatesm?

That guy, Saurabh. Remember?

He's still single.

Meet him, will you?

He wants to remain single.

There's a new girl on his profile picture every week.

Oh, you've already stalked him?

Who's asking you to fall in love with him?

Just get some 'extracurriculafl action.

Now the house is empty, too.

But, the diary is chock-a-block.

Yes, of course.

What a blemish on your record!

Two years without a single day off.

Go ahead, spend your whole life insuring others' lives.

Forget about some fun in your own!

Okay... let's do this.

Name... Jaya Shashidharan.

Jaya Kumaari?

Jayashree TK... yes!

Age...

Come on.

Work...

Health sector.

Web development.

Cooking.

No.

Sculpture.

Literature.

Sky-diving.

Oh!

Bloody!

Exciting eyes, can I see some more?

This is Abkar.

- A Masters? Will you teach me a thing or two?

Ass!

Babes, wanna get a good workout?

Do you wear Indian or western clothes?

Are you from the upper castes, madam?

Hobbies... sculpture?

Do erotic poses interest you?

Good evening, Ms. Jayashree.

Your profile is very different from the others.

If possible, I'd like to meet you.

If you find my profile acceptable, let me know.

We can give a coffee shop some business.

Yogi.

Chemical Engineer. Never married.

Hobbies... poetry... poetry... poetry.

Hello, Mr.Yogi.

Where would you like to meet?

Meena!

Hi! ~ Hi!

I have to attend an event.

Didn't you recommend a hair treatment?

Hey, Jaya!

Hi! ~ Hi!

Weren't you here last week, too?

Yes.

What's cooking?

You seem to be visiting the salon a lot.

Some important office meeting?

No. I'm just learning a thing or two from you, Mrs. Saluja.

Aw... so sweet!

Meena... - Yes, ma'am.

My eyebrows and upper lip as well.

But, didn't you do your upper lip just last week?

Fast growth?

Yes.

In Mumbai?

About 12 years.

My brother's studying at Princeton.

Of course... I love partying.

Who doesn't?

I have a lot of friends.

Yeah... yeah... of course.

Just the most amazing friends.

Komal, I'm so sorry.

I won't be able to baby-sit today.

Don't worry. I'll take them shopping tomorrow.

Ms. Jayashree.

This is so mean of you.

The others get turned off looking at me.

You were leaving without even seeing me.

You are?

I'm Yogi from abtaksingllesom.

Didn't you recognize me?

I recognized you from your eyes. Come... come.

These limbs have worked out a lot today.

Please.

Let's go in.

Come.

Here?

This table, please?

You made me run an extra 50 meters today.

Do you go for a run everyday?

Yes, ma'am.

I take one round of Carter road everyday.

Training for the marathon.

Marathon? - Yes.

But, Carter road is barely two kilometers.

Who wants to run the whole marathon, Ms. Jayashree?

I've not been punished.

I'll run a little.

After that, back home.

Then watch the results on TV.

Find out who that person is who ran so much!

Please come, mate.

What will you have to eat?

I'll have a latte. - Latte?

Get us two lattes.

That's two mugs of lattes, but don't mug us.

You are a chemical engineer?

Yes, people would say that.

What do you mean?

I've studied cylinders and pipes,

but, I don't work with them.

So, what do you do?

I don't do anything.

Something I've just written...

To their chosen profession, people are tortured slaves.

If I may recite, with your permission. - Excuse me?

To their chosen profession, people are tortured slaves.

But lovers like me, to verse are willing slaves.

Kudos to me!

Oh. I thought poetry was just a hobby.

My first girlfriend would call me Sir Poet, Ms. Jayashree.

I go by the pseudonym of Viyogi.

I have published six books.

Really? - Yes.

Self published.

Oh. - Not one sold.

I gave them for free to friends.