Torrente 5: Operación Eurovegas

Omsynkad av misterkuk

Take it easy!

One at a time!

Stand back! Come on, stand back!

You'll knock over the railing!

Get back!

Let us in!

My papers are in order!

Three robberies! Two rapes! What else do I have to do?

We told you, it's full! No one else can come in!

It can't be full!

That guy just came out!

This is prison, not a parking lot! Fire a round in the air.

Torrente!

Great to see you!

What did they do to you in there?

You look worn out, older, like somebody else.

So do you, Cuco. Did I say a damn word?

Cuco is somebody else, Mr. Torrente.

He spent a year in detox on my ranch. He's a new man.

Who the fuck is this?

My cousin Jesusin. I told you about him

when we were in Marbella.

He looks pretty damn stupid.

He's a good person.

Got a suitcase or something?

The clothes on my back.

Let's hit the road!

I really missed you, Torrente! I thought about you a lot

while you were in jail.

Hey, nothing wrong with being in jail, okay?

Not everyone can say they had an experience like that.

You're a free man now. We can go anywhere you want.

Must have been the Catalonians.

Things got out of hand when they got their independence last year.

But we can clean it up and it'll be like new.

Cheer up!

Sir... sir...

Fresh flowers for tomb, 2,000 pesetas. For baby.

Have you got 2,000 pesetas, kid?

I can't even look at it!

Let's go, I can't be here.

Come on, Torrente. It's okay.

Where do you want to go now?

I want to get my car back.

I left it with Peladilla to watch it.

Wait until you see it, cuz. A collector's edition.

A tuned-UP machine!

There's a man living in your car.

- It's a black guy! as the night.

Is nothing sacred in this country?

Nobody respects anything!

No!

Damn you!

You destroyed it! Damn you all!

Damn you!

VICENTE CALDERON STADIUM

- It's okay, Mr. Torrente. - Get up, you'll get dirty.

Besides, they built it somewhere else.

No.

It can't be. My whole life dedicated

to upholding and serving the law.

Handing out justice

with criteria and "Spartanian" discipline!

My only goal was to help Spain achieve greatness!

And after being unjustly incarcerated,

I get out and witness this infamy! This misery!

This moral and ethical decadence! This disgrace! This godlessness!

Keep it together, Torrente.

It's over. No more Mister Perfect Citizen.

No more Mister Example of Model Behavior and Civility.

They better get ready, because from now on,

from this moment on, they can consider me...

an outlaw.

OPERATION EUROVEGAS

Tonight's news is brought to you by Cascajares Chicken Roast.

This morning President Mariano Rajoy

met with opposition leader Pablo Iglesias

to sign the new salary reduction agreement into law.

The new average salary will be 98,000 pesetas.

We went into the street to ask the public

how they're managing since our expulsion from the European Union,

the disappearance of the euro

and the return of the peseta.

The peseta? Spanish, as usual.

Great, great. It's fine.

The peseta? Of course.

Our dear peseta.

Total disaster. We're not conscious of the debt we have to pay,

which is in euros, with pesetas, losing their value...

Viva España! Dubari dubari doo, Andalusia I love you.

The new pesetas once again are a part of our daily lives.

As you can see, some people still have their doubts.

AH euro accounts have been automatically turned to pesetas,

while 16% of those accounts have been confiscated by the government

to reduce the national debt.

Valencia has been chosen for the world's largest radioactive dump.

The dump, which will open in 2020

and will be built on the Mediterranean coast,

will be a goldmine for the area...

Ben appetit, NH. Torrente.

Thanks.

That's more like it.

I'm starting to feel better.

Some fried churros.

Are you gonna eat those?

No, they're for the road. Our mission is starting. Let's go.

The best way to tune up your intellect.

Human relations.

Okay, Okay-

- Your turn, kid. - I can't. I have a girlfriend now.

Besides, I'm against exploiting women.

Exploiting women? What bullshit.

Your cousin is paying this whore good money.

This South American has a family to feed.

Hey, I'm Spanish!

I'm paying off my master's degree in renewable energy.

That's it, keep studying.

Wanna give it a shot?

I'm against exploiting women too.

But hey, as long as I'm the one paying for it...

Find anything down there?

What a disgrace. People don't get high in these places anymore.

Not quite, Torrente. You can still find something.

People are back since official said the crisis is over.

- I thought you quit. - I did, I'm clean now.

Well, a little Diazepam, Clorazepam, Ketamine,

Vicodine, Roipnol...

and children's aspirin.

Look, Torrente!

What the fuck is that?

My Mortadelo collection.

My cousin is awesome.

When a chick falls asleep, he gives her a Mortadelo.

He puts his balls over her eyes with a pair of glasses

and his dick covering her nose, then he takes a photo.

Young people have degenerated beyond belief.

Out of the way, kid.

The stuff accumulates on the edge of the lid.

This is where you can find some.

I got something there, I just don't know what.

Juan Carlos!

The laws have ignored us, treated us like trash.

But it's time to rebel.

Yeah, we should hold up a bank or something.

A bank? That's for low-lifes.

We have class, style!

We're going to rob three Eurovegas casinos in one night.

That's impossible, Mr. Torrente.

Why impossible?

Because only one is finished and operational.

Damn, that's even better!

Your cousin's a real ball buster.

Here... I feel free here.

This is where I fit in.

- Eurovegas? - No, damn it.

The nightlife, the hookers, the vice, the casino...

I'm an outlaw.

But Mr. Torrente.

Why do I have to pay for all three of us?

Look, kid. Consider it an investment...

You'll have to give me that bottle. No drinking outside the gambling area.

- Says who? - Says me.

Look, little man.

The other six dwarfs are looking all over for you.

It's a surprise party and they're all there:

David the Gnome, the Smurfs... You're the only one missing.

Maybe you'd rather talk to my friend.

I don't understand why they still call this Eurovegas.

They've thrown us out of the European Community.

I would call it Spanish Las Vegas.

Sure. Prettier, sounds better, more Spanish...

Or maybe the Francisco Franco Grand Hotel Casino.

At first they called it Hispavegas.

Adelson fell through and the city took over the project.

Yeah, I remember. Well, then?

Then the ex-president's relatives got involved,

and ex Terra Mitica executives,

ex El Palau consultants...

Say no more.

Finally they ended up buying the name back from Adelson.

- For a shitload of cash. - Some things never change.

Come on, handouts for everyone!

Know who else is a good kid? He was in my block.

- Who? - Urdangarin.

We played handball

in the yard with Barcenas. The bastard always stole the ball.

Chink! What's the problem?

Scram!

We give them all the retail stores and now we can't get rid of them.

I didn't waste any time in jail.

I made great contacts.

Special friends.

Sure, little buddies.

That happens in jail.

The more the merrier.

Are you stupid?

Hey, I think it's great.

I'm a meat and fish lover too. Anything to pass the time.

Professional contacts!