The Mindy Project

Previously on The Mindy Project...

Mindy, I can't see you anymore. I don't trust you.

Wait. What?

"Dear Cliff, I'm so sorry for what I did."

Can I help you?

"I'm sorry I was so stupid and reckless with your heart."

Oh, my God. Okay, keep it coming, little Shakespeare.

I need to get Mindy back.

"You know you're right for someone

when they force you to be the best version of yourself."

I'm sorry.

I probably shouldn't have done that, right?

Look, I'm gonna count to three.

If you don't kiss me, I'll realize this

was a big mistake, and I'll return to my seat in humiliation.

One... Two... Three...

Four.

Get it off.

What are you doing?

My brother's boyfriend gave me that for Christmas.

Mm. I'm the boss now.

- No, no, no, no. - Mm, I'm the boss.

No, I don't like it. I'm the boss.

I'm the boss.

I'm the boss.

Mm.

- Oh! - Whoa!

What are you doing? What are you doing?

- Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Shut the door.

- - Ah. Ah.

This is good, Danny. I like this.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

How is this beneficial for anyone right now?

No, it's hot, it's hot, it's making me hot.

No, it's not hot. It's making me hot.

Ah, Danny!

Ah! Oh, Danny, you flushed my hair!

My arm is stuck.

I can't get it out, Danny.

Why did you do this to me? Ow! Stop!

so do you want to come inside for a drink?

I'll come inside, but I don't know about a drink.

It's 6:00 A.M.

Hey, hey, if this is gonna work, Danny,

you have to get used to my rock-and-roll lifestyle.

- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.

I think I might be able to get used to it.

Uno, dos, tres, four.

[Band plays mariachi version of in your eyes]

Cliff?

Cliff, what are you doing here?

They're playing in your eyes, a romantic gesture.

- I should have trusted you! - What?

I'll never make that mistake again.

I don't know what you're saying.

Guys, guys, guys, amigos!

Sto... it's... you got to read the room.

I was wrong, Mindy.

I-I should have trusted you.

I still want to be with you.

Oh.

Let me get a photo.

Um, well, you just... It's so... you did so much.

It's such a nice gesture, and it's first thing in the morning.

Yeah.

It would be incredibly mean of me not to.

Look at this. So beautiful.

A little more... Show some teeth.

Don't be afraid. Maybe one day we will have true love like this.

Ready?

One, two, three.

- Took it on two. - That's very nice.

I'm gonna get going.

You're gonna take off?

Yeah.

Danny, uh, you know, thank you so much for seeing Mindy home safely.

Are you tipping me?

No, no, no, no. No, well...

We're gonna get out of here, guys.

Fantastic.

- I'll get your bags. - Okay.

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro.

[Band playmamariachi version of in your eyes]

Hey, Cliff, um... I think that we need to talk.

I don't know, Mindy. I feel like your...

I feel like your email said it all.

It was surprisingly eloquent.

"Surprisingly"?

Well, yeah, most of your emails

are pretty poorly spelled, aggressively vulgar,

full of pop-culture references that no one understands.

I don't know about that. This was different.

No, I mean, this was magical.

"You know you're with the right person

when they force you to be the best version of yourself."

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I wrote the crap out of that letter real romantic-like.

- I did. - Come here.

No, see, um, I-I shouldn't.

I shouldn't kiss you or hug you.

An old man coughed up blood on me on the airplane.

I just don't want to get you sick, so...

- There. - Oh, my God. Wow.

I still feel weird from that, so I should probably rest.

Well, I'll be back.

And, Mindy...

I'm really glad we're back together.

Cliff, I think we should break up.

I'm in love with someone.

I didn't think we were gonna do this this early.

I'm in love with someone too.

No. Oh, God.

Hey.

Hey.

What's going on?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

- I'm horny for kisses. - No, no, no.

- Aren't you still with Cliff? - Technically.

He wouldn't accept my breakup

because of that stupid, beautiful letter that you wrote.

He's basically in love with you, so it's your fault.

Now french me, you idiot. No, I'm not gonna french you.

As long as you're still with Cliff, we can't kiss.

We can't touch.

We shouldn't even be in the same room together.

I'm so catholic, I don't even trust this new pope.

Catholic? There's tons of things that you're not very catholic about.

- Like what? - You're divorced.

I'm annulled.

So you did not have sex before you were married?

- I found a way. - I don't care,

'cause I'm hindu, and we can do basically anything.

I don't care what you say to that giant elephant up there.

According to my guy, this is wrong.

You have a boyfriend.

Danny, I just... I really want to kiss you, okay?

Why are your lips so scrumptious?

I don't know. They just are.

And those eyelashes... I mean, they're just so long.

- They are? - You look like a pony.

Just one kiss, and I will go away.

- One kiss? - One kiss? One's fine.

Wait. This is bad. This is bad!

No! No.

It's just very hard for me to dump guys.

It's actually a lot easier for me to get dumped by guys.

Danny, I should just get him to dump me.

Go get dumped. I'm gonna go get dumped.

So why don't you lube up those smackers?

Everyone, everyone...

I have great news.

Dr. Fishbein has had a heart attack.

How is one of our peers having a heart attack good news?

She was the OB-GYN to the New York metropolitan ballet.

Now she's gonna retire, meaning...

Oh, I can figure out what that means.

OB-GYN, heart attack,

let me just finish rearranging these letters.

It means their business is up for grabs.

And I've arranged for our practice to pitch.

I'm obviously the cultured one,

plus, I own a cape, so I will be running point.

My second will be d-d-d-Danny... He's leaving.

Mindy Lahiri, a female woman.

I'm sorry that I have to admit this,

but I'm actually banned from Lincoln center,

because apparently there is a "three strikes" policy

for falling in the fountain there.

I guess we go straight to third place.

Peter, you will be helping me. Congratulations.

Come in for the shake.

You're gonna have to at least meet me halfway.

Just come down and get it.

- Thank you. - You're the worst.

Dr. Reed, I got it.

"Treadmill peacock sings,"

and the words left over are "h," "g," and "y."

Come on in.

- Mindy? - Yep.

The door was open.

That's cool, babe. Come right in.

Okay.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Are you... whoa!

- Oh! - Hey.

You want me to close the door?

No. No need for that.

- - Hey.

- Hey. - Just got off the phone with my psychic.

- You have a psychic? - She told me

that we were gonna have eight kids.

And I said, "I think after six,

- we'll probably go snip, snip, snip." - Whoa.

Are you saying you want to break up?

I'll kill you. I'll kill all your friends.

Uh, no, I'm not saying I want to break up with you.

It's just you're talking about...

- - Hey, hey.

Kiss me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait.

Okay, all right, this...