Friends

Hey.

Hey. - Hey.

We're here to say goodbye. We're off to Ohio.

Oh, right, your adoption interview.

Yep. We'll meet the lady who could be carrying our baby.

I can't believe it. When you come back, you'll have a baby. That is so weird.

And so incorrect.

She's only a couple months pregnant.

She liked our application, who knows if she'll like us.

Oh, come on, she's gonna love you guys.

Oh, thank you. But we're trying not to get our hopes up.

A lot could still get in our way.

She could decide against adoption, like another couple better.

What are you gonna name it?

I could develop a condition in which I talk and talk, and no one hears a word.

But just think, okay? What if everything goes right?

What if this woman does pick you guys?

Oh, my God. She's gonna pick us!

So we're standing firm on "not getting our hopes up"?

No. I know things could still go wrong, but if they don't...

...if this works out, we're gonna have a baby. A baby!

- Yes. But... - Oh, my God. It's gonna work!

We're gonna make it work!

I'm gonna be a mommy and you're gonna be a daddy!

All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna go get me a baby!

Oh, screw it. I'm gonna be a daddy!

Hey, who's Phoebe with?

I wanna say, "Someone I'm gonna have sex with."

- Hey. - Hey.

- So, uh, who's your friend? - Oh, that's Sarah.

No. Don't you get any ideas.

I'm not setting you up with any more of my friends.

- Why? Why? - Because you'll date her once...

...sleep with her, then forget she exists.

Oh! Name one friend of yours I did that with.

- Mandy. - Mandy, huh? Uh...

Really hot blond, big boobs?

- No. - Might be why I don't remember her, huh?

Do you think I'm someone else?

Okay, look, I may not have treated your friends well in the past.

But I have grown up a lot. Really. Honest. Rach?

Yeah, believe it or not, it's true.

I mean, when Joey and I were together...

...he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature.

And for the one week that we went out...

...he didn't sleep with anybody else.

Growth.

- Fine, I'll give you her number. Okay. Thank you.

And I promise you I will not forget this one.

- Mandy. - Sarah!

Sarah.

- Hey. Hi.

- Hey. - Hey, guys, I need some fashion advice.

Oh. Huh.

How does this look?

Well, it's... It's a little low. Pick it up a little.

A little bit more.

There you go.

Now throw it away.

Come on! This looks good.

Ross, please trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month.

Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that NATO guy is...

...but I do know that you have to get far away from that hat.

Damn it. God...

I have this date tomorrow night, and I have to look cool.

If you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow.

- You're welcome to come with us. - Really? That would be great.

Uh, I mean, I have to do something.

She kind of teased me about how I dress.

I can see why. Nice shirt. Ha, ha.

You're wearing the same shirt.

Stupid Gap on every corner!

Make yourselves comfortable, and I'll be back with Erica.

Okay, thank you.

Well, this is it.

- Are you okay? - Yeah, it's just weird, you know?

It's like, uh, "Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?"

Ooh!

You're gonna be great.

Well, obviously.

Monica? Chandler? I'd like you to meet Erica.

- Hi. - Hi. It is so, so nice to meet you.

- Hi. - Thank you for agreeing to see us.

- Hi. - I'll let you get acquainted.

Okay. - So it's Monica and Chandler?

I only know you as "File CRW33815-D."

That's what our friends call us.

Gosh, you know, you're just such an amazing couple. It's...

...kind of intimidating.

Oh, ha, ha. I don't know about that.

Are you kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you're a doctor.

But on top of it, you're married to a reverend?

- I don't think that's exactly... - Let her finish, doctor.

- Hey. - Hey.

Oh, my friend Sarah had a great time last night.

- Yeah. - Yeah, so you gonna call this one back?

Ha, ha. No.

What are you talking about? Sarah's great.

Oh, really? You wanna know what your "great" friend did?

We were out to dinner, okay?

We were getting along, having a really nice time.

I was thinking she was really cool.

And then, out of nowhere...

That's it?

That's why you won't go out with her again?

So she took some fries. Big deal.

Hey, look, it's not about a few fries.

It's about what the fries represent.

- What? - All food!

Well, I'm sorry.

I can't believe I set you up with such a monster!

Hey, hey, hey, look, I take a girl out...

...she can order whatever she wants. The more the better, all right?

Just don't order a garden salad and then eat my food!

That's a good way to lose some fingers.

Oh, thank God you're here.

- Listen to this. - What?

Joey and my friend are out last night, having dinner, and she reaches over...

...and takes a few of his fries... - Oh, no!

Mm-hm. - What?

You know about the plate thing?

Oh, yeah, yeah. No, Joey doesn't share food.

I mean, just last week we were having breakfast...

...and he had a couple grapes on his plate.

- You wouldn't let her have a grape? - Oh, no, not me.

Emma.

Joey doesn't share food!

Well, I still think that is a stupid reason not to call someone again.

You are calling her, okay?

And if you need to, then just get an extra plate of fries for the table.

I like that.

A sharing buffer. Yeah.

Yeah, I'll order some extra fries. Maybe a plate of onion rings.

Yeah. Yeah.

And a shrimp cocktail.

Uh-huh. And some Buffalo wings.

Maybe... Maybe an individual pizza, huh?

And some mozzarella sticks.

What were we talking about?

Wow, this place is awesome.

We should just go. I'm not gonna find anything here.

This stuff is ridiculous.

Oh, this place is great!

Wow.

Rach, come on, I'm not gonna wear any of this. Nothing silver.

- Wha...? - Okay, nothing with hair.

- And nothing with padlocks on it! - Aw.

Ross, look. Look, I know that some of this stuff is out there.

But, I mean, come on, look at this. Look at this sweater.

I mean, this is just beautiful.

Wow, this is really soft.

Three hundred and fifty dollars?

Down from 700. You're saving like 200 bucks.

Both logic and math are taking a serious hit today.

Hey, check this out. It's totally you.

- Wow. - Yeah.

Huh.

Wow. Actually, this looks pretty good.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

"Boys will be boys"?

- What? They will be! - All right.

- That's it, I'm getting out of here. No, Ross, wait, come on.

There's other stuff here. There's some nice shirts, these nice pants.

Huh. Actually, these might look pretty good on me.

Yes, they will. You know what you should do? Go take a walk.

I know your size, and I'm gonna pick out some really good stuff for you.

- Really? - Yes.

I know what looks sexy on guys.

Just wear what I suggest, and she is gonna go nuts for you.

So you're saying, uh...

...if I wear these pants, I might be getting into hers?

Why do men keep talking to me like this?

So the fact that I'm a doctor and my wife's a reverend...

...that's important to you?

Yeah. I read some great applications...

...but I thought, "Who better than a minister to raise a child?"

Amen.

Plus, I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor.

Oh, good hands.

Healing hands.

Reverend, can I ask? Does the Bible say anything about adoption?

It says, "Do it."

"And behold, she did adopt unto them a baby.

And it was good."

- Wow. - Yeah, wow.

I was wondering... You both have such serious jobs.

Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock?

Oh, no, my flock? My flock is good.

Yeah. My flock pretty much takes care of themselves by this point.

It's a good flock. Flock, flock, flock.

But being a doctor, that must take up a lot of time.

Not for me it doesn't.

So how's everything going in here?

We're great. I think I may have asked all my questions.

Good. Do you have questions for Erica?

Yeah, actually. So you read a file that you liked...

...and then you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?

Oh, yes. Our system ensures total anonymity.

- We're very proud of it. - You should be.

You're really on top of stuff.