Fanboy

Fuck.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, you okay?

Yeah.

Let me help you out.

Thanks man, appreciate it.

Oh, these drums are heavy.

What kind of drums do you play?

Imperial County Percussion.

- What the fuck is that, some three month old company?

Ah, just kidding, man.

I've heard of them. Reinventing the wheel,

nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, thanks man.

Wow.

Right?

Oh, is that the new one? Supposed to be like best ever.

- Oh yeah dude, it's pretty solid, smooth. I dig it, man.

Why do you play or something?

A little bit.

Hey, you're in the Xenos, huh?

- Yeah. - That's who I came to see.

- No, shit. - I love you guys.

- Thanks man. - Yeah.

- Pleasure to meet you. - You too.

I got some more shit I gotta take care of.

I'll catch you later, man.

Hey guys, I'm Freddie.

Hey.

Hi, I'm Ronnie.

Hey Ronnie.

I love this band.

Hey, I'm Sally.

Thank you.

- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too, Sally.

- Thanks for coming out. - Yeah, you too.

I love Polymorphs. I know who you are.

You're like my favorite singer of all time probably.

I love your guys' band, it's like an all-star band.

I asked all my friends to come out

but my friends are so flaky, y'know? So we'll see

I even know your old band, dude. Ex-gods right?

- This guy even knows even who Ex-gods are.

That's crazy.

Hey, at least you're here.

I'll get you a drink ticket when we get some.

Oh, fuck that.

I'll buy you guys a round

What are you guys drinking?

We don't drink before shows.

- What? But it's the first night of tour come on.

- Tomorrow's the second followed by the third,

We don't drink before shows.

We don't drink before shows

'cause you can't handle your booze.

Whoa.

- Bitch you can't handle your fucking mouth.

I'll gladly shut it for you, Goldie.

Whoa, trouble in paradise, huh?

What is up with that?

That usually goes away on tour, huh?

Or does it all get way more annoying?

What do you think Goldie?

- Hey man, y'know, thanks for the help earlier,

but don't fucking call me Goldie, dick.

- Wow, those guys really don't get along, huh?

Right now I gotta go handle these guys.

- Hi. - Hey.

Got any cold Mexican beer?

Sure do, got any drink tickets for me?

I usually just give them to the band,

places like this don't really

help out the roadie/merch dude.

- Oh, well darling, this kind of place takes care

of our roadie merch dudes, besides I'm on the wagon tonight,

so you can have my shift drink.

- Oh, thank you. Hey, uh, you know this guy?

Yeah, Freddie? Of course he's played

in like a million local bands.

Shredding drummer, weird dude.

- Besides being weird, 'sup with that fan stuff?

Yeah, definitely fan stuff for sure.

On top of super fan, he's got some serious rage issues.

Plus he's one of those like intense talks really close

to your face all the time guys.

Okay, so the worst thing I heard about him,

the last band he was in, either broke up

or he got kicked out, 'cause he lost his shit on stage,

broke a dude's arm, sent him to the ER, ambulances were here

like bad shit.

What, like some unruly fan or something?

- No, that's the best part, it was the bass player

in his own band.

I know dude, and that poor guy won't even set

foot in here now.

Fuck, were you here to see that?

No, I missed all of it.

I wasn't working that night,

but me personally, I've seen him just

go off on people like over nothing.

I have to say though, he really fucking shreds on drums.

To me, that's worth something.

Not if you're a creep.

- I don't know, he's not a creep, he's just weird.

I don't know, he's got a bad rep. Deservedly so,

kind of an asshole but he's always been super cool to me.

Plus he's walking up right now, so enjoy darling.

Pretty quiet over here.

Talking about me?

- Listen, you guys, we have to put this shit away

and concentrate on having a really good show.

This tour is either gonna be amazing,

or the last time I ever hit the road.

Look, even if there's only 10 people here tonight,

I wanna give them a show they won't forget.

So that by the end of tour,

we've got half full houses, at least.

So let's put this away, like the professionals we are.

And kick some ass tonight.

Thank you.

Hey dude.

Hey, how's it going?

Good, was a good set.

Did you guys finally get drink tickets?

We did.

- Wanna trade one of those in for something.

Have a Mexican beer, please.

I can do that for ya.

Do you take lime with your Mexican beer?

Nope.

Well, hey, thanks for being easy.

So, I've been told.

Cheers.

Thanks.

Hey, good set, bud.

Oh, hey.

I love your riffs.

Hey, would you sign that for me?

Oh, yeah, it was interesting.

- Yeah, first night of tour, what are you gonna do?

Hopefully forget about it.

- That's the thing, I'm a pretty straight up guy.

So I'm gonna say something here.

You guys need a better drummer.

That guy like a, close personal friend, related to somebody?

I mean dropping sticks, missing snare hits.

You guys could do way better.

That is straightforward.

That's me.

And well, he's an old school friend.

He's all right.

And you know it's first night of tour, he'll be okay.

Okay, but, okay for what?

You wanna just have a couple of cool stories, you know?

Maybe he's gonna be okay.

You wanna sell out some of these clubs instead

of perpetually playing for 25 people?

You guys gonna have to upgrade.

Well, I mean, even if we wanted to,

finding a drummer at the drop of a hat on tour,

just doesn't seem very likely.

But, you never know.

Anyway, where are you guys staying tonight?

- Well, considering what we made at the door,

we didn't have money for a hotel,

so, at this point, I have no idea.

- Well, you're in luck, you can stay with me.

I even have a music room in my backyard I built myself.

We can all hang out.

That sounds cool.

Let me talk with the others outside.

All right, let me know.

Thanks, man.

Hey, Lita, can I get a beer please?

You got it, Freddie.

Thank you.