The Victorville Massacre

Officer Maroney (OS): Sorry to bother ya while you finish your sandwich and all, boss.

I know how you get when you don't finish your lunch and all... but don't you think we oughta

go in and check it on out? Didn't I tell ya

to stop calling me boss, boy? Well, with all due respect

sir, shouldn't we at least go knock on the door...see if anybody

home. Or something? We will.

Don't you think we oughta do it now, boss?

Goddamn, son. What I tell ya about calling me "boss?"

Not to.

Jesus Christ. How old are you, boy?

I just turned 21 this past November. Which means I can legally

drink now. Fuckin' kids.

Gettin' younger every year. You know who lives here, son?

No, sir.

I don't. This is the old widow, Mrs. Bates' place.

Do you know how long she's lived here?

5. 6 years maybe. Bakers dozen?

Let's just say: Longer than you been on the goddamn

planet. You understand?

No, sir. I'm afraid I don't.

Old Mrs. Bates: She's 85 years old.

Now how much of a disturbance you think she possibly be causing?

Ain't that why we got called in, boss?

You bringin' your gun?

Mrs. Bates!

Mrs. Bates, it's Officer Bailey!~

She's a little hard of hearing. What did ya expect? She's 85.

Mrs. Bates?!

Mrs. Bates?! Got a call of a noise complaint...

Shit.

So, first day, huh?

Eh. I figure it makes me look professional.

Two dead cops...

a bunch of dead kids... And nobody knows a goddamn, fucking thing.

Kid: We're working on it, Chief. Yeah, we're all working on it.

Kid: We're working on it, Chief. Yeah, we're all working on it.

But what about the neighbors?! They didn't see anything or hear anything?

They're out of town for the weekend. I gotta clear my head...

Clean this mess up. Make sure you fill out the reports.

And get back to the office!

Yes, sir.

Kid...

Try and keep this out of the press, will ya?

Yes, sir.

Ria: Jesus, when was the last time we were all together like this?

Seriously, it was in like college.

Now that was good times. Hell yeah, who could forget? That was the weekend Stephanie finally caved in

to the Steve-myster!

to the Steve-myster! No way you guys! Anyways...

I was totally wasted on tequila. And that was the weekend Bobby and I broke up.

You know you still want it. In your dreams I do.

Besides, if I play my cards right this weekend...it'll be Lane and I doin' the dirty

Think about it...

...and I'll cut you. What the fuck?! Seriously though...

Of all places to spend Labor Day weekend, Victorville? Seriously.

Wait, what's wrong with Victorville? Uh, everything? Why did Matt get that place anyway?

I'm not really sure, but from what he said, it barely cost him anything. That's because

No one wants to live there. No, seriously guys... what's wrong with Victorville?

EVERYTHING! Jesus. Fine. No, but seriously,

What is the plan for this weekend? To get fucked up! Obviously.

How about a little truth or dare? No way! Not with these two

bozos. I'm done.

bozos. I'm done. Yeah, but do you go...

down? Ay ooo!

Oh, God...right in the crotch... Come on, princess...

I'm not going into the lions den alone. Ok, fine! I'm just not going to show them boobs.

Come on. We've all seen your tits. God...

You guys are perverted. Come on. We have to play truth or dare.

It's like a cliche for a co-ed weekend. Ok Ms. Too Cool for School, what were you planning on doing?

A ghost story by the camp fire. Nah uh, no way...

What's wrong princess? Nothing. I'm not

scared I just don't think it's appropriate. That's all. Uh, it's totally appropriate.

What with, the dozen killings in Victorville in the last

6 weeks. Ok, the police say they're completely unrelated.

That's stupid. How could they not be related?

It's still disrespectful. Lighten up princess. We're just trying to have a good time.

Feel free to join in. Who else is coming up this weekend?

Matt and LIsa should already be at the house. And Andrew is picking up Mary.

Isn't that gonna be a little...awkward? Why?

Uh, having the three of them in the same house for the whole weekend? Look, if Matt hasn't made a move by now

He never will. I mean, he's had a crush on her since high school. Yeah, there's that...

And Andrew would beat his ass!

It's not a problem. Lisa is completely naive. She doesn't even know that Matt is in love with her.

Andrew must have her wrapped around his little finger. Andrew wouldn't be

getting any without Lisa. Ok. Somehow I highly doubt that.

Wait! We should toast.

You wanna toast? Yeah! Ok. To what?

Um. To friendship.

To friendship. Cheers! Cheers!

This place is awesome. How long have you lived here? It's kinda funny...

I was working for the guy who used to own this place just doing odd jobs here and there.

And the bank was going to foreclose on it.

So, he just sold it to me. So you went from working on the roof to owning the house.

Damn. Not too shabby.

So... how are things between

you and Andrew? Since my birthday? It's ok. I mean, he's been working a lot.

So I don't get to see him very much. We haven't had sex in months.

...We're friends right?

...And my birthday?

Look. I think our friendship can pretty much withstand...

any thing. At this point... Really?

Good. Me too.

Anyway. Enough about all that. What about you?!

Are you seeing someone or? Uh, no.

No, not at the moment. Why not?! I mean, Matt, you're a great guy.

Any girl would be lucky to have you. Yeah, you know, I'm just waiting

for any girl to figure that out. Shut up! Come on.

Matt, they will. Don't worry. They will.

You'll meet a great girl.

Officer Gates (OS): Is that enough proof for you? That's enough, Officer Gates.

I've been Chief of Police of Victorville for 20 years.

We ain't never had a serial killer in this town.

We're sure as hell not gonna start now. The last thing everybody needs if for everybody to panic.

With all due respect, Chief...

The last thing we need to do is take this lightly. Look at the photos!

Look at 'em!

Officer Gates (OS): Is that proof enough?

What we need to do is we need to setup a mandatory curfew.

We need to setup a hotline so if anyone has any information.

can call in, cause we sure as shit don't. That's enough, Gates!

What do you think, Bailey?

You know what I think, Chief.

Look. I understand the need to...

avenge your partners death, Officer Bailey. But the last thing we need right now

Is to be chasing obscure hunches. I told you...

All of the victims were either on the verge of having their homes foreclosed

or are the new owners to homes that recently foreclosed.

Practically every fucking house in Victorville is on the verge of foreclosure. Let alone the nation!

That'll do Gates! Jesus Christ give it a rest.

Alert the media.

Call the newstations and set something up. If anyone

is gonna break it to this town it might as well be me. Yes sir.

Besides, I'm sure the news station is gonna chalk it up to some outsider anyway.

Besides, I'm sure the news station are gonna chalk it up

to some outsider anyway.

Bailey, hold it a minute.

Take a seat.

You know you should consider taking some time off...

You look like shit. I'm fine.

I know how important this case is to you. He killed...

He killed my partner, Chief.

No one's blaming you for Maroney's death, Bailey.

Hell, no one could have anticipated that sick son of a bitch.

Not even Gates.

Effective immediately, you're going to take a leave absence.

But Chief! No buts Bailey. Go home.

Have a cold beer. Have a cream soda. Do some fuckin' thing.

Gates is on it. You got nothing to worry about.

I don't trust him. Gates?

He's your boy. He's not my boy.

Bailey, gonna need your badge.

Seriously, I had no idea.

Come on, Matt. You can't be that naive.

Come on, Matt. You can't be that naive.

Really?

That must be the crew.

Ria?

Come on you guys...

Hey! So good to see you!

Ria: Hey, sexy bitch! Lisa: How was the drive?

Horrible with those two. Stephanie: Lane had the worst gas ever.

Sorry, snowflake. Not all of farts can smell like potpourri.

Ma You guys are stacked. Some more than others.

Ma You guys are stacked. Some more than others. Shut up you guys!

Steven: Time for some good stuff. We got a tradition to uphold. Tradition?

We did it once six years ago. Yeah, that hardly makes it a tradition.

Oh my God. I hate beer. Let's just do this shit.

Steven: Ria, why don't you start us off. Ok. A toast to...

A great weekend. To reunions.

And like, new beginnings. To the unknown.

To who give a fuck? Steven/Landen: To pussy!

Officer Bailey: This is all of it?

Sally: All the homes foreclosed in the past two years and their former owners. As requested.

Thanks, Sally. I can't tell ya how much I appreciate this. Is it true?

That there's a serial killer on the loose?

I heard about your partner.

It's sickening to think what happened to that poor boy.

Thanks again, Sal.

Hey!

How are you? Good! Traffic was miserable.

That Vegas traffic. Definitely. Hey buddy. Oh, nice shot.

Steven (OS): Speaking of shot?! Lisa/Ria: I'll do one!

Hey Matt, where can I put my stuff.

Matt (OS): Guest bedroom is down the hall on the left. I'll show him.

Lane: Who's ready for the hot tub? Mary: We just go here. Let's have a few drinks first.

Matt (OS): Mary, it's alright. We'll make a fire, sit down, and relax.

Lane: Come on, baby doll.

Stephanie: Okay. Hey Matt, where can I use the bathroom?

Matt (OS): Down the hall.

I guess we're going to the hot tub! Yes sir.

Ohhh, dude. Stephanie AND Lane. I know, man.

I'm already starting to chub.

Thank you so much

for joining me in the hot tub. I so wouldn't want to go out there with those guys alone...

Yeah. It's no problem.

You know what?

Do you know what this is?

Yeah, I think I know what that is.

Have you used one of these before? Nooo. I haven't used one. Here...

If a guy ever tries