Sonny with a Chance

Okay, rehearsal's up.

And, action.

Konichiwa and welcome.

To America's favorite Japanese game show:

"where's the wasabi?"

One of these pieces of Sushi.

Is loaded with super spicy Japanese wasabi mustard.

Contestants, where's the wasabi?

- Is it in the salmon? - Is it in the salmon?

Oh, it's just fishy.

Oh oh, octopus. It's in the octopus.

Is it in the octopus?

Uh... Chewy.

- Squishy. - Hmmm.

Huh... hoo ha. Ooh, that's hot.

Oh ah ah! It's hot!

Guys, why is there real wasabi in there?

- It burns! - And that's...

- How we play "where's the wasabi"? - Water water!

How do we play "where's the funny"? Because I'm not seeing it.

Oh, water!

- But you said you loved this sketch. - That was 20 minutes ago.

Oh, water water!

What's going on? You haven't liked a single sketch we've written all week.

That's because there's nothing to like.

And this sketch? This sketch stinks on rice.

See what I did there? Instead of stinks on ice, I said stinks on rice.

Because it's Sushi. That's comedy!

And I want to see some by tomorrow.

Ahhh.

So, uh, so did Marshall like the sketch?

- I'm exhausted. - Yeah.

We've been trying to come up with a sketch all night.

Okay okay, I got this.

How about this sketch? Let me just turn the camera on.

Okay.

All right, so there's a lizard, right?

And he goes to the north pole.

And then a bunch of funny stuff happens.

But at the end of it he says,

"iguana wish you a merry Christmas."

Yeah, ha ha ha!

Who's with me?

We can't send that video to Marshall.

- He's miserable enough already. - Yeah.

This is ridiculous. What is Marshall's problem?

He's been snippy for weeks. Nothing makes him happy.

I know, right? Ooh, I got it...

Who am I? Who am I? Ready?

See what I did there? See what I did there?

I changed ice to rice, 'cause it's Sushi.

And I'm Marshall pike!

See what I did there? See what I did there?

My turn, my turn!

I don't have any good ideas. I just hate all yours.

What?

'cause I'm the boss.

I'm in charge.

Okay.

Unless my mommy calls.

Marshall, it's your mother.

I want you home by 6:00.

So we can go girdle shopping.

For you.

- That's so good. - Guys, guys, guys,

Let's call it a night, all right?

Let's just send him Sonny's stupid iguana thing.

I mean, whatever we send he'll hate anyway.

You know what we should send him.

Is our Marshall impressions.

Ha! Yeah right.

Seriously though, you should delete those.

No no no, actually I'm gonna send them right now, Marshall.

Come on, you wouldn't dare.

Oh you... you don't think I would?

- No, come on. - Um, no.

- You wouldn't dare. - You don't think I'll do it?

- No! - No, we just said no.

That's really funny, 'cause I just hit send.

What'd you do?

- Are you crazy? - Relax relax. I hit delete, okay?

- Oh, trying to scare me. - Oh my gosh, I hit send!

No, unsend unsend!

Sorry. I feel like I've been called to the principal's office.

I was home-schooled. I feel like I'm in my mother's kitchen.

Get ready to move back there because none of us are keeping our jobs.

Look, relax. Nobody is losing their jobs, okay?

Not if we stick together and tell Marshall we were just fooling around.

- Yeah. - We were just blowing off steam.

- Yeah, you're right. - You're right.

- Fire Sonny! - Oh, we have no free will. She did it!

- Sonny did it. - Marshall, look,

I'm really really sorry.

We all are.

Look, I'm not happy about what you did.

But it really showed me how crabby I've been lately.

I guess it's because I turned 40-something last week.

You're 40-something?

Would that something be 50?

I always thought by the time I turned 40-something

- I'd be something. - But, Marshall, you are. You have a really great job.

Yeah, but I always wanted to perform,

To be on the stage

"my life with ma";

To hear the applause and the laughter,

Just like you kids do after every show.

Ah well.

I'll just keep bottling it up and take my anger out on you.

Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.

Now come up with a sketch that's funny!

- You see what I did there? - Yeah yeah.

All right, well, at least we still have our jobs.

Yeah, let's get out of here before somebody makes things worse.

Hey, where's Sonny?

- Sonny! - Don't make things worse!

Sonny...

Ahem.

What are you still doing here?

Marshall, I think that you should go for your dream.

And do your one-man show.

Well, I can't just leave and drop.

All my responsibilities at "so random!"

Why not? We'll be okay.

Well, I... I guess it would be a shame.

For a script like this to go to waste.

That's your one-man show?

I live with my mother. There's only one room where I have any privacy.

The first act, second act.

Come on, Marshall, you don't want to just...

Flush this dream down the toilet.

Do you? No. You wanna know why?

'cause you were born to play these "rolls."

See what I did there?

Why, yes I did.

I'm convinced.

Sonny, I'm gonna take off two weeks.

And live the dream.

Ooh ooh, I should write about this in my diary.

"dear diary, I'm taking the plunge."

It's so freeing with Marshall gone.

I can just sit around all day reading magazines.

Um, you do that when Marshall is here.

Yes, but do I do this?

Yes.

It just feels freer, okay?

You haven't even gotten dressed yet?

Oh no no no no.

I slept in my shirt and jeans.

I changed into this.

Wanna know why?

'cause I can. Marshall's not here.

So every day is jammy day.

What?

- You were doing jammy day? - Yeah.

I'm doing jammy day!

Jammy slam!

So are you wearing a diaper?

No!

Well, ahem, me neither.

But thanks to Sonny,

We could totally wear one if we wanted to.

Uh, excuse me, kids, is this "so random!"?

Yeah, it sure is. How can we help you?

I'm Stanley. I'll be filling in for Marshall.

Great, there goes our freedom.

- Yeah. - Huh.

From a guy named Stanley? Please.

You're right, stanley can be a bit of a pushover.

But you know who isn't?

Savage stan!

Are you ready to take your comedy to the extreme?

Because until Marshall comes back.

We're going to yuk it up gladiator-style!

I'm scared.

Bet you wish you were wearing a diaper now, huh?

Listen up, you comedy cream puffs.

I was the executive producer.

At "tween gladiators," but there was.

An incident.

And now I am your new executive producer.

Ah. ( Chuckles ) excuse me, Mr. Savage.

Uh, d-define incident.

The pinkie is overrated.

I knew we were one short. Now get in line!

Now here's the deal: Your sketches are weak.

Your jokes are flabby.

And your characters are as undeveloped as this guy's arms.

- I'm a 12-year-old girl. - No excuse!

It kind of is.

Zip it!

Now we are gonna put the punch.

In punchline, the slap.

In slapstick. And if we break a few bones.

In the process,

It'll be funny.

Broken funny bones.

Do you see what I did there?