Amélie (Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain)

On September 3, 1973,

a blue fly capable of flapping 70 beats a minute

landed on St. Vincent street in Montmartre.

At that moment, on a restaurant terrace nearby,

the wind magically made two glasses dance unseen on a tablecloth.

Meanwhile, in a 5th-floor flat on Avenue Trudaine, Paris 9,

returning from his best friend's funeral,

Eugène Colére erased him from his address book.

At the same moment, a sperm with one X chromosome

belonging to Raphael Poulain

made a dash for an egg in his wife Amandine.

Nine months later,

Amélie Poulain was born.

Amélie from Montmartre…

Her father, an ex-Army doctor,

works at a spa at Enghien Les Bains,

Tight lips, hard heart…

Raphael Poulain dislikes peeing next to someone else,

He also dislikes

catching scornful glances at his sandals…

…clingy wet swimming trunks…

…Raphael Poulain likes

peeling large strips of wallpaper.

Lining up and shining his shoes

emptying his toolbox,

cleaning it out,

and putting everything back,

Amélie's mother, a schoolmistress from Grugeon,

has always had shaky nerves,

Facial twitch, weak nerves…

She dislikes puckered fingers in the bath,

having her hands touched by strangers…

…pillow marks on her cheek in the morning,

Amandine Poulain likes figure skaters' costumes on TV,

polishing the parquet,

emptying her handbag,

cleaning it out,

and putting everything back…

…Amélie is 6

Like all little girls, she'd like to be hugged by her daddy.

But he never touches her, except for a monthly checkup,

The thrill of this rare contact

makes her heart beat like a drum,

As a result, he thinks she has a heart defect,

Declared unfit for school,

Amélie is taught by her mother

The hens brood here henceforth,

Four hens brood…

Very good,

Hens fourth,

No!

Deprived of playmates,

slung between a neurotic and an iceberg,

Amélie retreats into her imagination,

In this world, LPs are made like pancakes,

The neighbor's comatose wife

has chosen to get all her life's sleep in one go,

After this, I can stay awake day and night…

Amélie has one friend: Blubber

Alas, the home environment has made Blubber suicidal

Blubber's suicide attempts destroy Mother's nerves,

A decision is made,

Enough!

To comfort Amélie,

her mother gives her a used Instamatic,

Little girl, look what you did!

A neighbor fools her.,

into thinking her camera causes accidents.

Having taken pictures all afternoon,

Amélie is petrified

She stares at the TV, racked by the guilt

of causing a huge fire,

two derailments,

a jumbo jet crash,

A few days later,

realizing she'd been had,

Amélie gets her revenge,

[SPORTSCASTER ANNOUNCING SOCCER GAME]

What?!

- -

One day, tragedy strikes,

Amandine takes Amélie to Notre Dame to pray for a baby brother

Minutes later, heaven sends,

alas, not a baby boy,

but Marguerite, a tourist from Quebec

bent on ending her life,

Amandine dies instantly

After her mother's death, Amélie lives alone with her father

His unsociable tendencies increase.

He's obsessed with building a miniature shrine

to house his wife's ashes,

Days, months, and years go by…

In such a dead world, Amélie prefers to dream

she'll earn enough to leave home…

Five years later, she's a waitress in Montmartre

at the Two Windmills,

It's August 29th,

In 48 hours, her life will change forever…

…but she doesn't know it yet.

She lives quietly among her coworkers and regulars,

Suzanne, the owner,

limps a little but never spills a drink,

A former bareback artiste, she likes

athletes who cry with disappointment,

She dislikes seeing men

humiliated in front of their kids,

Georgette, the tobacconist, is a hypochondriac…

Migraines one day, sciatica the next.

She hates the words, "fruit of thy womb."

Gina works with Amélie,

Her grandma was a healer

She likes cracking bones,

She brings a Kir to Hipolito, a failed writer

He likes seeing bullfighters gored on TV.

Scowling at them is Joseph, Gina's rejected lover

He's always jealously spying on her

All he likes is popping bubble wrap,

Here's Philomène, an air hostess.

Amélie keeps her cat when she's away,

Philomène likes

the sound of the cat's bowl on the tiles.

The cat likes overhearing children's stories.

No, thanks, ma'am, I never work Sundays,

On weekends, Amélie often takes a train

to see her father

Why not use your retirement? To do what?

Travel. You've never been away,

When we were young,

your mother and I longed to travel,

We couldn't, because of your heart,

Yes, I know,

So, now

now…

Some Fridays, Amélie sees a movie.

I like looking back at people's faces in the dark,

AMÉLIE: I like noticing details that no one else sees,

But I hate it in old movies

when drivers don't watch the road,

You know, you're a very beautiful woman, Ellie,

Why, Stan! A very, very beautiful woman,

- Amélie has no boyfriend

She tried once or twice, but the results were a letdown,

Instead, she cultivates a taste for small pleasures…

Dipping her hand into sacks of grain…

Cracking crème brûlée with a teaspoon…

And skipping stones at St. Martin's Canal

They call him "The Glass Man."

He was born with bones as brittle as crystal

All his furniture is padded

A handshake could crush his fingers.

He's stayed inside for 20 years.

Time has changed nothing.

Amélie still seeks solitude.

She amuses herself with silly questions

about the world below..

Such as, "How many couples are having an orgasm now?"

Oh!

Fifteen!

Finally on August 30, 1997,

comes the event that changes her life forever

Lady Di, Princess of Wales,

died in a car crash last night

with her companion Dodi Al-Fayed

[NEWSCASTER CONTINUES REPORTING]

Only the discoverer of Tutankhamen's tomb

would know how she felt

upon finding this treasure

hidden by a little boy 40 years ago,