Black Jesus

I thought we talked about getting high and hanging

- out with homeless dudes. - Hi, Dianne!

So, this is the life you wanted?

This is what you chose over me? I don't ever want to see you again.

Are you happy?

I'm selling everything that I got.

I see you ain't selling your fancy track suits.

This bitch, like fat, broke niggas that don't pay child support!

All right, babies,

let's make that money! Just take what you need.

I don't want to hear it. A third goes to the cholos,

a third goes to the community, and that leaves me a third.

- Mr. Maxwell. - What the devil happened here?

That's that man boss, fool. Get him out of here!

You don't want him lose his job, do you?

- Where the heck is Vic? - He runs a tight ship.

He don't want nobody to have no fun.

What the hell is this?

It's an eviction notice,

compliments of myself and the Compton city council.

You guys are bad people, especially you... Bed, Bath and

Beyond getup you've been wearing.

Dress like a man, nigga.

Look, y'all. I got some good news and some not-so-good news.

The not-so-good news is we've been served with a

notice of eviction, and we got to pack up and shake the spot

within a week.

No-no, wait. No, wait. Hold on.

Before you put your piss pants on, hold on.

The city has decided to sell the lot.

So, you know what that mean, y'all, right?

If we can raise the bread, we can own the lot.

Now we can do that! I know it. Come on, y'all!

Only $1.2 million, y'all.

Come on now! We can... go put your hand in.

We can get it. Come on, y'all.

My man Tray hooked up the little website to take the donations

and things, man. What we working with, Tray?

Uh, just the $23 I've put in.

Boo-yah! $23! We $23 up, y'all.

That's what... wait! Come on, y'all. We can do this!

We just got another $10.

See what I'm talking about?

See what I'm talking... that's what I'm... it's gonna be cool!

Um, that was me.

Jesus? I can help you save the garden.

"Gangsta's paradise."

All right, I mean,

looking at the financials, we're a little bit behind, but if we

keep, you know, raising money, we should be able to...

- Jesus Christ! - Yo! I got it!

Pops delivered the word, y'all. He gave me the game on how to save the garden.

A concert!

A concert?

- Yeah! - Wait.

You mean like a benefit concert? With who headlining?

God already told me.

Peep this, y'all. Coolio!

Cool... "fantastic voyage"?

- I love Coolio. - Wait-wait. Coolio.

Yeah. All we got to do is get him to

come down to the garden and perform "Gangsta's Paradise,"

- and we in like Flynn, pimp. - Hey-hey.

I- I don't know. You Jesus and all.

I feel you, but I'm saying. We talking Coolio.

You really think you can get him?

Come on, ye of little faith.

This me you talking about. Me and Coolio go way back, man.

If you get Coolio, I can stream the performance

- online, no problem. - Jesus, so you go handle

the Coolio situation, get him down, do what you do, and we'll

get the rest of the show ready. All right?

Hey, you got some weed?

Jesus!

What's up, "G"?

- Finally decided to show up, huh? - Man, you know I

got to come through to see what's happening with my partners.

You know, it's just that I've been praying

a lot, you know, and I didn't hear nothing.

You know, I thought you might be on vacation.

You know what?

My bad, dog. I just been so busy doing God's

work, you know, he don't even give your boy no break, man.

I just be like all the time, man, but, you know, I'm here, though.

I see you got this spot looking real proper, pimp.

Man, this place is a disaster, "G."

That's why I'm been calling you, man.

I supposed to be open next week, "G," and it's all bad, "G"!

- It's all bad! - And it's crazy

you say that, too, 'cause I'm dealing with some shit myself.

Me and the homies, look. We got this little garden

project over there in Compton, right?

We trying to get it cracking, but I promise, man, the devil

been busy throwing all kinds of adversity our way, man.

And peep this. We need a million dollars to save the garden.

For real?

A million dollars? You want a million dollars from me?

No-no. I don't need a million dollars from you.

I just need you to come down and perform.

"Gangsta's Paradise" at our benefit concert.

For real?

You want me to do a show? Seriously?

You don't even act like Jesus is supposed to act!

Oh, come on, Coolio!

Come on, man. You know I'm gonna help you with the restaurant.

That's done.

Man, you know, I got you, man. But it's pops.

He's serious, man. He needs you come down and do

this, man. I mean, he's so serious, he put

you in my dream, dog. What's this you working with right here, though?

Ooh, way too much oregano.

Whoo-hoo-hoo! I can't believe you guys got Coolio!

This is huge.

I know. It's so exciting, right?

All right, y'all, we actually got a lot of work to

take care of if we're gonna pull this off.

Mags, you handle the tickets. Me and the fellas will handle security.

Hey-hey, and I'm the

DJ, man. Let them hos see my face so I

- can get them to my place. - Okay, Boonie.

We know. We know. You the DJ. It's cool.

Hey, man, y'all should let my boy, Munchie-T, open up.

Ooh, no.

No offense, man. He's just kind of whack.

More like that nigga sucks.

Hey, man, no, man.

He went triple plastic 'cause the first song was slow and everybody's...

Man, we ain't gonna

have nothing popping off if we don't have a sound system.

You talk to your moms? She feel like the garden over.

She ain't trying to put no more paper in it, man.

We'd have a system if I ain't

had to sell mine for child support.

Hey, who'd you sell it to?

Pussy-ass, suburban-ass Greg, man.

He was happy as hell. He got it for a steal.

Wait a minute. Greg who just had a baby?

Why don't we just call him up and ask to borrow it?

Man, Greg wouldn't even let us play with his toys as a kid.

He was scared we was gonna break them.

That mother is gonna say no.

We can Jack him for it.

- Yep. - No-no.

- No, we cannot steal from Greg. - Okay, we won't steal it.

We'll bring it back.

Come on, everybody. Bring it in.

"Thug life" on 3. One, two, three...

- Thug life! - Yeah.

Hey, Vic. Thanks for meeting me.

Yeah-yeah. Let's make this quick, all right?

Well, I wanted to

- talk about our mutual adversary. - The con man?

- Yeah. Uh, Jesus. - Yeah-yeah, the con man.

I think we can both agree that he's dangerous.

Oh, yeah, he is dangerous.

- Mm-hmm. - Unfortunately, I'm not

going to be able to help you, see.

I don't like the nigga, either, but I ain't no snitch.

Look, I-I understand that, Vic, but this isn't official business.

Oh it's not official business?

Well, okay, then, why don't you get your boys

to turn their back, I go over there, and whip

his ass, him up, and make him leave town.

Vic-Vic, I don't need you to help me get him off the streets.

I already have enough to get him on a 5150.

5150... that's a psychiatric evaluation?

Exactly.

That's real smart.

What you need me for, though?

Someone needs to stop that concert.

- What concert? - The concert they're

giving to save the garden. You didn't know?

They've got Coolio.

- Coolio?! - Mm-hmm.

Don't nobody give a about Coolio.

You don't like Cooli...

How do you not like Coolio?

'Cause I don't listen to that bullshit.

I listen to real music... Earth, Wind & Fire, Barry White,

the Stylistics, people like that.

The point is, a lot of people love Coolio.

It's an online fund-raiser. They don't have to sell tickets.

People from all over the world will donate.

If they do that show, that garden will become permanent.

See, that's why I don't even like that Internet bullshit.

Stop the show, Vic.

- Stop the show. - Stop the show!

I'll stop the show right now.

Yeah, hello? Yeah, I like to speak to the councilman.

Tell him it's Vic from Compton.

Vic! Vic, as in victorious!

Uh, here comes one of them.

- Hey, Vic! - That's a business

associate of mine, an entrepreneur.

Lloyd. Lloyd, meet the Compton city councilman.

So, listen, a concert.

You need a permit to do something like that, right?

Well, the problem is, they're paying everybody off.

The community, I'm saying. You know, they're donating

money to churches and schools. They're sucking up to the locals.