Cosmic Sin

Take it off.

I've always wanted to fuck in this thing.

Wait.

Do you listen?

We're literally the only people on this fucking rock.

Baby.

Baby, the world is ours.

"Enchanté"? What is that, French?

What the fuck?

Another ship in orbit.

Something is here.

There's nothing there.

Look.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Show you more.

See, babe?

We're 100% absolutely alone.

Stay there.

Felix.

Felix?

Felix?

Niro, you up there?

Loud and clear. What?

Put me through to the Alliance Command

this is an emergency.

This is Captain Juda Sayle of the Vander Corp

mining vessel 4217.

I need to report an FC incident.

Repeat, I need to report an FC incident.

This is Alliance Command.

Did you say an FC incident?

Correct.

I think it's the first contact.

Captain, it is crucial you answer the following

was the contact positive or negative for both species?

Um... our security officer

uh, uh, uh, he's shot.

Uh, uh, uh...

Was first contact positive or negative?

Positive or negative?

Six years running

you can't ever be on time for Thanksgiving.

I can't solve everybody's goddamn problems.

Why do you even bother saying you're coming home?

I got another call coming through.

Go for Ryle.

Sir, there's been an incident on a Vander...

Handle it.

It's my one fuckin' night off all year. What is it?

A credible FC encounter was just reported.

Come again?

Survivors of the encounter are en route to McMillian Airfield.

What are your orders, sir?

I want you to tell Commander Tieve

to contact Dr Lea Goss.

Do you understand me?

Listen to me.

Get me James Ford.

- Sir? - You heard me.

Get him to the base, tell no one.

I'm 40 minutes out. Do it.

Copy that.

Thanks for meeting me.

I got a job for you.

Cash.

Quick job. But it's on...

Good evening, General.

Oh, wait.

You're just a civilian now, like the rest of us, ain't you?

See, the boys and I prefer not to share your company.

So if you could kindly take your murderous ass someplace else

we'd really appreciate it.

Once upon a time, you were a big bad motherfucker

but now...

But now?

Uh, come on, fellas. Fellas, fellas.

Get out, boys, while you're still alive.

Mr James Ford.

Ruining another Friday night for all.

What? When I hear music, I dance

and tonight, the universe is singing a tune

that will change everything.

God, you still talk so much.

Oh, well, you're listening.

How you doing, Dash?

Oh, I'm good.

Hmm. Are you still living in the shadows

of your old commander?

Hey, man, half the world wants to fight him

the other half wants to buy him a drink

so either way, I come out on top.

I'll take that as a "yes".

Uh, Mr Ford, General Ryle is requesting

your inimitable counsel

for a situation that may change the cosmos

as we humble cavemen know them.

No.

No?

Well, let nobody accuse you of being a poet.

He needs you.

The whole world needs you.

Well...

the world needs something.

They made it clear that it's not me.

Si vis pacem, para bellum.

The last time I heard that saying

you used it as an excuse to justify dropping

a Q-bomb on 70 million souls.

I was following orders from the Alliance.

Orders you issued to yourself, hmm?

But guess what Ryle told the Alliance Senate?

You want peace

you get ready for war.

He's offered to reinstate you.

Hey, we're sort of a package deal now

so, here you go.

Thank you.

Pay my tab.

Drinks are on Marcus, thank you.

Have a good night.

Make sure he knows we're serious.

Charming.

Situation status, Defcon 4.

All hands to the stations...

Um, uh, I mean, he shot our security officer.

H-he shot... um, uh.

Are you kidding me?

Oh, shit.

What is he doing here?

Relax, you two. Play nice.

Ryle simply wants you to advise.

I can't give advice if I don't know the situation.

Where is Ryle?

Incoming, to protect us.

Protect us from what?

Possible first contact.

It wasn't SETI, it wasn't NASA

just a couple of roughnecks bumping uglies in the boonies.

Is this real?

I think so.

It feels real.

Well, I mean, this changes everything.

They say that about a lot of things

but I still pay my taxes and the sun still rises

so let's see.

Hey, you guys, uh, you seem kinda chill about this.

Do you not understand the implications

of this first contact?

We may not be alone in the universe.

Do you think aliens have music?

Do you think they dance?

Do you think they pay your bar tab?

The Vandermeer is dropping out of quant space.

Landing in Bay 3.

Right now, you're on the proverbial bench.

Ryle might call you up for a Hail Mary.

So, you know the drill.

Hurry up and wait.

One thing.

If I were you

prepare a Q-bomb. Immediately.

Go for Sergeant Locke.

Give me a quant tech.

Now.

Hi, baby! I missed you.

Did you miss me?

Yeah, you did. Mwah!

- Hey, wrench! - Who's a good boy?

- Hold up! - Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Leave's been cancelled.

Come on, Sarge, don't do this to me!

You're in the parking lot, you're on base

means you're still on duty.

We got some secret squirrel shit goin' on

and they need a wrench who can work the quant port.

Hey.

I'm callin' you wrench cos you're an engineer.

Well, I have plans with friends.

Your only friend is the Alliance.

Well, now, you see

if I actually got the leave I was promised

I could, you know, have a life.

I mean, what do they need a quant tech for

at 1:00am anyway?

How the hell do I know? It's above our pay-grade

but I did see old man Ford on deck, so...

What do you want me to do?

You want me to tell 'em I couldn't get to you

before you left?

Wow. What happened to your friends?

With all due respect, Sarge, fuck you.

Quant port failure.

Error code GR-76.

Yeah, you couldn't be easy, could you, Johnny?

Who the hell is Johnny?

Oh, it's Johnny Q, the quant port.

Yeah, I get it.