School of Rock

- Three sodas, and one is primed to explode.

Lawrence, I have to admit,

soda roulette is pure genius.

Thanks.

- This will be the coolest viral video ever!

- Cooler than "Monkey Smelling Butt"?

Yes.

You flatter me, sir.

- So I'll start filming, and you can start popping tops.

- Whoa, um, I was kind of thinking I'd film and you'd pop.

What made you think that?

- Well, so far, I've starred in "Spaghetti Head,"

"Pie Face," and "Soccer Ball Surprise."

- For some reason, it's funnier when bad things happen to you.

You have a gift.

Really?

Wow! Thanks!

Let's do it.

And...

Action.

I guess this'll be fun.

I mean, how much soda can shoot out of one can?

Ahh.

The answer-- a truly surprising amount.

That was amazing!

Hey, don't ask me how,

but I got us an audition for our first gig

with a very important music bigwig.

So dry off and meet me in class.

- Aren't you at all curious why I'm covered in soda?

- No. I know soda roulette when I see it.

Nailed it!

But it doesn't matter what I think.

Our fate rests in the musical tastes of Mr. Big.

What do you think?

Meh.

We just melted your face.

- No, you didn't. My face is fine.

I'm telling you, Alison,

this band is going to rock your birthday party.

- We're playing a seven-year-old's birthday party?

I thought we weren't supposed to hit rock bottom

until our mid-20s.

At least we're headlining.

- Actually, I'm thinking of getting

a magic princess instead.

I spoke too soon.

- Princess Oliviana-- who's that?

Are you serious?

She's the princess from the movie "Everyone's A Princess."

- She sings "Tell Me Something True."

You know...

Stop that terrible song!

Alison, what do you say?

Can we play your party?

- Okay, but only because you agreed to be paid in cake.

Yes!

We got a gig! We got a gig!

Oh, sweet mother of--

I mean, thank you.

Uh-huh.

Now, what's your band's name, so I can put it on the invitations?

Uh...

- Uh, we don't have a name yet.

- Well, you better come up with one by next week,

or I'm going with The Princess Party Band.

Now, juice box me for the road.

Juice box me.

Amateurs.

- Hey, Zack, here's my share of our video game subscription.

- Oh, thanks. The last time I didn't pay my dad back,

he repo'd my bike.

- Since it's my turn to pick next,

I want to get the new Dr. Timewarp game--

"Wormhole of Justice."

It's my destiny.

- Oh, sorry, no can do, "broseph."

I already ordered "Legions of Horror" last night.

That's brutal.

I've been waiting my whole life for this game.

- That's why I thought you should hear it from a friend.

Good talk.

- Why do you let Zack boss you around like that?

Nobody bosses me around.

- Tie my shoe. - Double-knotted or single?

- Stop.

Just because I say something doesn't mean you have to do it.

Same goes for Zack.

He's my best friend.

- Your friendship seems a little one-sided.

You're better than that, Lawrence.

- I am? - In theory.

- Tomika, I know what you're getting at.

You want to be my best friend too.

- That's not my-- - Sorry.

Call me old-fashioned,

but I can only have one best friend.

- Lawrence, I think you're missing--

Shh.

Shh.

Shh!

- Today's lesson is on the importance of our first gig.

Our group needs to be road tested

for Battle of the Bands.

The Beatles had Hamburg.

We have Alison's princess party--

totally the same thing.

- What about our band name? - Excellent question, Summer.

Finding the right band name

is the second most difficult task in rock.

The first is how to not look stupid doing this.

Keep working on it.

Luckily for you kids,

I've already come up with the perfect name...

Paradoxx!

Oxx, oxx, oxx.

Crowd noise.

I sense some hesitation.

Paradoxx?

- Does anybody have any better names?

All right, fine. Let's hear some band names

that are probably not as good as Paradoxx.

- Smog Check. -

- T.H.B.-- Totally Harvard Bound.

Totally no.

Tomika? - Don't care.

- Hmm. - Great name.

No, I mean I don't care.

You can't force a name. When it's right, it'll happen.

Great point.

I like the name Timewarp.

Shocker.

- I'm torn between two awesome names--

Metal Death Fire Skulls or Skulls of Fire Death Metal.

It's a tough one.

It's pretty clear to me

none of those are as good as Paradoxx.

So we'll just go with that.

- No! Totally Harvard Bound.

- Smog Check! - Timewarp!

- Skull Fire-- whatever mine was!

Okay.

Okay!

This is natural.

Bands need to disagree

and get their frustrations out early on,

or they'll just break up.

Pete Townshend once hit Roger Daltrey with his guitar,

and The Who are still together.

Hmm, gotcha, Mr. Finn.

Who do I get to hit with my guitar?

Nobody.

We'll vote on this tomorrow.

Settle this like adults--

rationally and calmly.

Mm, right.

And after that I get to start bashing people?

Are you singing a princess song?

- No. How much did you hear?

Enough to make this weird.

Look, I told you

to get these boxes of Paradoxx T-shirts

out of the garage over a year ago.

How many failed bands is it now?

- Dad, there's no such thing as failure.

That's what you always used to tell me

when I struck out in little league.

- I was lying to you. You were eight.

Just get the boxes out of the garage.

And, son, if you're gonna sing a princess song in my house,

you do it in the shower like a man.

Dang it! You got me singing it.

Now I have to bathe.

- Zack, "Gamer Magazine" gave "Wormhole of Justice"

five thumb blisters up.

I can't wait!

And since it's my turn--

Oh, forgot to tell you--

I ordered the next six "Legions of Horror."

It should only take two or three months

to get to your game.

That's cool, right?

Yeah, okay.

Excuse me.

No problem there.