The Suite Life on Deck

I'm down to one radium grenade.

- Cover me! - I've got your back.

Move move!

Cyber bug attack at 6:00.

Stand aside, brothers in arms!

I got him!

That was the tv remote. You just changed the channel.

Sorry, these night vision goggles.

Don't work so well with the lights on.

I still can't believe you're a part of guys' night.

Ho ho, my lounge, my tv.

Don't worry, I got him!

Eat space dust, you big-headed freak!

Whoo!

- Hey! - Did you see that?

We won! Yeah!

Zack, you just single-handedly wiped out.

The entire creplock squadron.

- Well... - Hey hey.

Thanks to our fearless Captain,

We made elite warrior status.

Ha ha, I'm an elite warrior,

The most ferocious in the galaxy.

Oh, I can't wait to tell mother.

And next Friday night we will be playing.

The undefeated team from Australia.

For the title "supreme invaders."

- We're gonna knock them into the next galaxy. - No no no no.

The next galaxy?

We're gonna knock them all the way.

To abell 1835 irl916!

- The galaxy farthest from earth is what I... - Whatever.

- The point is we're going to win. - Uh-huh.

Galactic gladiators!

Careful.

You know I have a sensitive sternum.

Oh, this is stupid.

London, it's a school requirement to do community service.

You have to pick something from this list.

Yeah, but they're all helping people.

And where's the fun in that?

Not everything in life is fun, including this conversation.

Look, I'm signed up to help in the playroom.

Oh, I know how to play! I'll do that.

London, it's not playing.

It's helping take care of the passengers' kids.

Ew! Wait, you mean I have to hang out.

With a bunch of sticky booger-eaters?

Undo undo undo.

- It's too late. - Oh rats.

Don't worry, it'll be easy.

I'm great at babysitting.

Back in kettlecorn, I used to take care.

Of this kid named ellie-may.

- Oh, was she a neighbor? - No, our goat.

So, big change on someone's online profile.

Oh, you saw I got my 10th friend?

Double digits, baby!

Yeah, it's nice that your grandma.

Finally accepted your friend request.

Actually it was my mom. Nana's still pending.

No, I'm talking about Maya's page.

Looks like she just updated her status.

To "in a relationship."

You know what this means, Zack?

Yeah, she's really into me. Can you blame her?

No...

It means you gotta change your status too.

And, well, your whole life.

No, I don't. I already got Maya.

It's smooth sailing from here.

Hah! Smooth sailing, just like the Titanic.

You have no idea how much work it takes.

To maintain a relationship with a girl.

Oh yeah? What work?

Well, they always make you put them first.

Suddenly what you want doesn't matter anymore.

When we started dating, Bailey made me join.

Her stupid quilting circle.

You were in that before she was.

Whatever. My point is...

Actually, didn't you start the quilting circle?

My point is...

You're gonna have to start making changes, my friend.

No no no.

I'm not gonna change for anybody, not even Maya.

That guy.

What does Cody know about women.

Except that he's a pedicure away from being one?

So does this mean you're not gonna change your status.

To "in a relationship"?

No way.

Just because Maya changed hers.

Doesn't mean I have to change mine.

Hi, Zack.

Did you happen to notice my status?

Of course I did.

So?

So nice of you to do that.

And?

And I was just about to change mine.

But I wanted to see your face when I did it.

Aw, Zack!

See? That's the face!

Way to hold your ground, pal.

Huh.

I just got a friend request from a Mildred fink.

Nana? Hurtful.

Hi, kids.

I'm Bailey.

And I'm beary glad to meet you.

Bear... ahem. Come on in, miss london.

No, they're all sticky and germy.

Come on.

London.

Look, an astronaut!

No no no no!

Let me go!

Whoa! Back! Hold them back.

Miss london was just playing lion tamer.

Isn't she fun?

Funner than your lame bear shirt.

Told ya.

Uh, actually, Sally,

There's no such word as "funner."

Clearly... Not in your world.

Move, grandma, so we can play with the astronaut.

Shh shh.

Look, kids. Look what I have...

Vocabulary flashcards!

Here's a vocabulary word for you: Bor-ing!

So I'm getting the arsenal ready for Friday night.

I've got fluvium Rays, pulsar bazookas, flak...

Guys, guys, look what I've got...

A new camouflage pocket hanky.

Manly, huh?

Ooh, Woody, kudos on the camouflage socks.

Oh, actually they're white.

I just haven't washed them in a month or so.

Oh, it's Maya. I gotta take this.

Hah, yes, you do.

I told you.

What does she need now?

She is coming up to the sky deck with a surprise for me.

You see? She does stuff for me.

Hi, Zack.

Oh, hello.

So what's my surprise?

You're looking at it.

Is it invisible?

You mean you don't notice anything different about me?

Of course I do. I noticed that...

Ah, her hair.

That you have hair...

Hair you have done something to.

Yes.

I don't know the technical term,

But I know that it makes you even more.

Incredibly beautiful than you were before.

- Aw, you're so sweet. - Mwah!

Yeah, you're welcome.

By the way, she had her split ends trimmed,

A hot oil treatment and subtle caramel highlights.

Congratulations.

You just went from extreme warrior to extreme hairdresser.

Thank you for sharing the giant booger.

You pulled out of your nose.

And yes, it does look a little bit like Santa.

Okay, who's next in the share share?

My turn, my turn!

Miss london has a special share to show all of you.

Ooh ooh, what's in the box, miss london?

Something really funny:

Bailey's clothes!

Check out the stripes on this thing.

I think there's a zebra running around somewhere.

With no clothes on because miss Bailey here stole them.

Okay, the little hand's on the three.

That means 3:00.

So share time is over.

Oh, don't be sad, because now it's time.

For miss Bailey to teach you all about.

One of the most fun things in the whole world...

Math!

Wow, you're making me miss that kid's Santa booger.

No no no, it'll be fun.

And here to prove it is one of my favorite math friends.

Boys and girls, meet gottfried leibniz.

Guten tag, kinder.

Leibniz? Born in leipzig, 1646?

Developed the binary system of arithmetic?

I mean... okay.

All right, who did that?

Hey, that kid was gonna throw a block.

All righty, who's ready for some arts and crafts?

- Yay! - Great!

I'll get the toothpicks and cotton balls.