Good Timing with Jo Firestone

Whoops, sorry.

Oh, geeze.

What's this one called?

I lost my.

Ridiculous.

We're healthy, but we're desperately unhappy.

Right, okay.

Orlando, are you going to do it?

I guess. Oh yeah.

We must do our exercises.

Oh shoot.

What's this called?

Stretching the muscles.

Stretching the muscles, okay great.

Oh yeah, this is good, really important.

Now you have to sit down again, sorry.

Okay, sorry, Helen, you got to go back down.

I gotta sit down?

- Yes. - I just got up.

Could you just say your name and how old you are?

Ziggy Susser 71.

Barbara Bova 72, soon to be 73.

My name's Alix Elias.

And Richard Marshall.

She tells, she says to me-

Don't tell your age.

Don't tell anybody.

Don't tell your age.

Tom Padovano 66.

Helaine Witt.

My age? 71.

- 71. - And a half.

- Oh? - In the few months.

Like a kindergartner.

You could say, generally speaking.

Yeah, generally speaking.

Generally speaking, a hundred.

My name is Evana Lewis and I am 73 years old.

My name is Teresa Hommel and I'm 76.

And you are, you're wearing a mask.

I'm wearing three masks.

Hi, I'm Helen Yalof and I am, ew, 86 years old.

My name is Nicki Cochrane.

My date of birth is May 10th, 1938.

My name is Bill Burke and I'm 68 years old.

Will you tell me your name and if you want to,

you could tell me how old you are.

I'm Rebecca Dole, I'm 75.

I'm Orlando Dole, not 75.

Lynne Fetch, I will be 71.

And I'm still playing singles.

How do you like them apples?

Oh, I'm Bibi Elvers.

And am I comfortable saying my age?

Of course, I'm proud of it.

I'm 88 and a half and going strong.

So this is pretty much like

the comedy workshop we do on Zoom

but it's going to be in person.

And we're gonna do some exercises to get material going

and then we'll do a show in four days.

No big deal.

We're going to do a quick just a roundup of ideas

for what's the worst thing to have on a T-shirt?

- Bill. - Cream cheese.

I love me, not you.

A naked baby on a T-shirt trying to wee wee.

What? A naked baby on a T-shirt trying to shoot?

Holding his little wee-wee.

Yeah, that's a really bad T-shirt.

I saw this T-shirt yesterday

Eat pussy, it's organic.

I couldn't hear. What was it?

Eat pussy, it's organic.

Eat what?

Pussy.

Come on Barbara, make her say it again.

Everybody make her say it again.

Did you have you done like

- performing arts or anything? - No.

So, what got you to sign up for the class?

Oh, I saw that and I said right away,

"I just, I would love to do that".

And you've never done it before?

No. In elementary school I was always the one

who like laughed and said funny things.

Got in trouble for laughing all the time.

Once the teacher wrote "giggles"

on my report card or whatever.

So, what do you like about the comedy class?

I just like that we're all together.

We all contribute.

It's just fantastic.

Sometimes I am so awed by the answers that people give.

Really, they're fantastic.

I love those bar jokes, oh God.

Who do you think would play you in a movie?

Oh, you know who just came into my mind?

I don't know if it was because I thought of it

or I just got it, Sandra Bullock.

She funny?

So what does everybody prefer if you had the choice

food jokes or sex jokes?

- Food, did you say food? - Yeah.

- Food. - Okay.

- Sex. - Okay.

- Food, - Food.

Sex.

Orlando, you have not voted.

No, I go for sex jokes.

Barbara, you got one?

I got one a quick one

and then I need help with the second.

Two peanuts were in a bar, one was a salted.

- One was a what? - A salted.

- Two penises? - Peanuts. Peanuts.

So, the other one is that if you get lox in the morning,

a pop will freeze you at night.

Soda pop lox bagel in the morning freezer pop at night.

I told you it needs work.

Okay.

Well. Anybody has any anything to add

about bagels and lox or freezer pops?

Oh well, I said, "I tried to push it up, to get the lip

"but it went back down".

Oh that is good.

That's how it's supposed to be.

Whoa.

The cook made a cheeseburger.

I told him, "I needed a hamburger."

And he said, "Do something with the cheeseburger."

So, I threw it at him.

Is that a glad to see me in your pocket?

Making sex on a Sunday is a bad choice.

Sex makes my hair curly.

A good pastrami sandwich is as good as an orgasm.

I worked for a few jobs,

but my biggest, longest job was a social security.

I was a claims representative.

I interviewed people to see if they qualified

for like an SSI program, things like that.

And the best, the best story I have from work is

that I interviewed a woman who told me she worked

at a Whole Foods and I said,

"I used to go to the one on Houston Street.

I loved their bread pudding."

And she said, "Oh my God, I made their bread pudding".

35 years at work and that's the most exciting thing

that ever happened to me.

Meeting a person who makes bread pudding at a Whole Foods.

Why did you decide to take this comedy class?

I've always been funny, like my whole life kind of,

but you know, never formally funny.

I would always crack people up,

make jokes with friends or whatnot, but I never pursued it.

Like I thought of it, but I was too scared, you know.

Like you really have to give up a lot to pursue it,

to really make a career of it and everything.

I used to have a dream to end up on TV, you know,

like the big thing, you know,

to be on the "Tonight Show"

blah, blah, blah.

Umm, now I know that it'll never happen.

You know, it it it's a fulfillment.

It's part of me that I can tap into now.

And it's great that I have that opportunity to do it.

Alix, you got one?

Is it food or sex?

Well, I was trying to do both,

but tomatoes having sex equals ketchup.

Let's see, Lynn, you got one?

Is this okay from when Mayor Lindsay was mayor?

That's when I heard it.

I do have an encyclopedic memory for jokes.

Something will trigger it off

and it's just in the back in the Rolodex.

So, do you know what joke about a cat?

The one about the little boy goes to school and he's late.

So, the teacher says, "Why are you late?"

He says, "I stopped to look at a dead cat

by the side of the road".

She said, "Well, how'd, you know, it was dead?".

He says, "I pissed in its ear and it didn't move".

"You did what?"

"You know, I went psst and it didn't move".

Dinosaurs.

Two dinosaurs were on the edge of a cliff

and they see Noah's Ark sailing away with all the animals.

So, one says to the other, "Oh, is that today?".

Can you tell me the dirtiest joke, you've heard?

The man goes to the doctor for his annual physical.

And he says, "You know, you have to stop masturbating".

He goes, "Why?".

He says, "Cause I'm trying to examine you.".

- 30 wow. - Wow.

For other ways to describe dog feces.

Poodle noodles.

Poodle noodles.

Oh that's cute.

Digestive ex-cremation.