The Sopranos

How much blood will you shed to stay alive, Michael?

Live or die, make your choice.

Who the fuck are you?

What the fuck you doing in there?

We're gonna miss the previews.

What?

Tell me your earring went in the fucking drain again.

I'm pregnant.

I know it's my fault. I know I shouldn't have let you take off the rubber.

I thought we were okay. I was due for my period. My cycle's like clockwork.

Stop.

- I'll call the clinic tomorrow. - Stop talking.

Let's get married.

What?

We'll drive to A.C., make a day out of it.

Are you serious?

Christopher. I love you.

- My baby. - Yeah.

My ex, she couldn't have kids, and I wanted 'em so bad.

The one who ran out on you?

You can bet she's having some other asshole's kid, though.

That fucking tramp.

Elzear, patron saint of zeppoles.

Could use a shot of lacquer.

Fix that halo, too.

Hello.

Mr. Gaultieri, I'm Father Jose.

I'm Mr. Gaultieri. Where's Father Felix?

Unfortunately he's ill.

He's having bypass surgery. He asked me to fill in.

You know Mr. Russamano from the Neighborhood Association.

Sure, Paulie, Chuck, how you feeling?

He was an altar boy.

So the Feast of St. Elzear.

Father Felix brought me up to speed.

I'd like to hear your ideas for this year.

Well, there ain't much to talk about.

It's all done through our nonprofit corporation.

We close the streets for five days,

hire the food vendors, rides, etc.

Day two, we start the procession,

push the statue up and down the block.

You say a couple of prayers and that's that.

All's said and done, you get your end.

About that, as I was telling Mr. Russamano,

frankly $10,000 struck me as quite low.

It is what it is.

Look, I'm new here. I certainly don't wanna rock the boat.

I realize there are certain neighborhood traditions.

It's just that given the current costs, we feel an increase

- is long overdue. - What kind of increase?

We feel $50,000 would be a more equitable donation.

- 50? - Just this year,

we started a soup kitchen for the homeless,

a reading program for bilingual children.

There's less help than ever from the federal government.

You think this feast pays for itself?

Security, electric, sanitation.

- Not to mention fuel costs. - Yeah.

The way it seems to break down is you spend $18

for a city permit to close down the street,

charge fees to the vendors

in the thousands of dollars to lease out land

that you don't even own.

Yeah? Well, it seems to me the church has plenty in its coffers

for all those pedophilia lawsuits.

The parish's deal was negotiated since this was Johnny Soprano's feast.

These are different times, Mr. Gaultieri.

Well, some things don't change.

Couple of days, Joe Vella from the Honor Guard will be by with the float.

Transfer the statue from his niche,

pick up the hat and other stuff.

You say things don't change.

This feast was started over 100 years ago

in a spirit of giving.

Italian immigrants, the working poor

gave what little money they had to honor St. Elzear.

He's the patron saint from my grandparent's town,

Ariano di Puglia.

Many of those folks gave their gold wedding bands, which were melted

- down to make the saint's hat. - Yeah?

The Holy Society of St. Elzear,

of which you are recording secretary,

has for the past 100 years entrusted us

with the care of that habiliment.

Frankly...

I don't feel safe giving it over this year.

We use it every year. It's part of the tradition.

I understand, but I'm sorry.

Given the tenor of this conversation, I sense there's a possible

criminal element in this neighborhood

that could endanger this precious piece of local history.

But for 50 grand, you wouldn't have that sense.

It would demonstrate to me that you take this feast as seriously

as the people who began it.

Okay, Father, nice meeting you.

Fuck the hat!

It's fucking bullshit.

I got a fax from Eddie Lind, Allegheny Carting.

They wanna raise the tipping fee again on solid waste.

Just the man I wanted to see.

I gotta go down to Pennsylvania and I'm gonna need backup.

I'm busy managing the feast.

Vice president in charge of calzones.

Where the fuck you been anyway?

Is that what I think it is?

You are now looking at a newly married man.

- Holy shit! - Kelli?

What the fuck brought this on?

Visit from the stork coming up.

You never heard of pulling out?

Sweetheart, little Cristal over here.

- You know what you're having? - Boy, I hope.

I tell you, T, with the example you set,

plus the wisdom I learned from AA,

it's an inspiration, building blocks,

home, family.

Yeah, that's what it's all about, kid.

Just water for me.

My son will be my strength.

Yeah.

I did?

What are you, new in the office?

Talk to Dr. Cipolla.

I don't pay for missed appointments.

- To the baby. - To the baby.

- Salut. - Salut.

Make a note to call Freddie at DiSorbo's.

He wants to sponsor the cannoli-eating contest,

I better see an envelope by tomorrow.

Anyway, my guy at the weigh station's on board.

- You know how to get back, right? - I MapBlasted it.

All right, see you guys.

Look, Pittsburgh.

What the fuck? We're supposed to be headed east.

Are we 0.7 miles past Route 62 yet?

I gotta take a piss.

You seeing this?

Looks like bikers.

Wooden crates.

It's good wine.

- What the fuck? - Who the fuck are you guys?

- That's who I am, you mangy cocksucker. - Take it easy.

On the ground or I'll blow your greasy fucking heads off.

- You guys cops? - How's your incision, Lieutenant?

10-4.

You're fucking with the Vipers here, asshole.

Really?

What's that, your Girl Scout troop?

Just shut up, fucking douchebag.

Let's go.

Get him!

I hit him! I fucking hit him!

Fuck you!

That was fucking awesome. Fucking old-school shit.

Opportunity knocked.

Knocked? Kicked the fucking door in.

Oh, fuck!

You okay, T?

Fucking ankle, I guess I sprained it.

You smell that? It's fucking autumn.

It's like the first fall night when you're a kid, and the air's all crisp,

and you start smelling people's fireplaces.

Smells like Halloween.

Chateau Pichon-Longueville, 1986.

'86... ooh, baby.

Show me the money.

What's your corkage fee?

How about that prick's face when he saw the gat?

The Grizzly Adams motherfucker?

"Whoa, take it easy."

"We're with the Vipers."

How's that wine, good?

It really is, I gotta say.

I tell you, though,

when he pulled that trigger,

I almost shit myself.

Yeah.

I miss it sometimes. I'll be honest.

The wine.

You should toast at your wedding, at least.

Your kid.

Discipline, that's all.

Set limits for myself.

You know, on the other side, they consider wine food.

Oh, yeah?

- Salut. - Salut.

I'm gonna have to sleep on my back.

- What are you doing? - Nightcap.

There's a Swiss Army in the console.

When you think of the shit we've been through, huh?

Shit we've done.

Fucking Three Musketeers.

We got a bond.

It's very special.

You saved my life in a lot of ways.

You've been there for me, too, you know?

Don't think I don't know that.

There were times

it was hard with me and you.