The Carrie Diaries

Before there was sex, before there was the city,

there was just me... Carrie. Carrie Bradshaw.

And lots of things were changing...

For all of us. I'm here for you, Carrie.

I know. Just, all I can think in my head is, "for how long?"

I know I don't say it as much as you do,

but I'm kinda terrified, too.

I'm number two behind that idiot jock west.

Wave good-bye to Princeton and Harvard,

because those are mine.

Looks like you were still having fun

even without Walt here.

That's someone who works for my dad.

And is part of his job description

screwing his boss' daughter?

We don't exist anymore. Now you're my boyfriend.

I won't say anything, Walt, I promise,

but are you gay?

I don't know what I am.

I've had a change of heart about Manhattan

and "interview" magazine.

I want you to pursue your dreams.

I had tried to run. I had tried to hide,

but finally I had to accept all roads led to Sebastian...

Or, to be more precise, to Sebastian's lips.

Aw. You guys are the cutest.

Aren't they the cutest?

No, no, no. Don't stop on my account.

Okay, we won't. Don't you dare.

Oh, now you've done it.

...Captions by vitac...

Kissing Sebastian was so good, I thought I'd never get enough.

But it turned out I had gotten too much.

Oh!

Oh.

Beard burn.

That's what you get from marathon make-out sessions.

Should I put something on it?

Hair of the dog. With Walt, I just got used to it.

Of course, now I have to get used to Walt

never talking to me again.

You can't keep avoiding Walt. Yes, I can.

Maybe it won't be so bad now that he and Donna broke up.

Thank god I don't have to see that anymore.

Ugh. There are some things I can never UN-see.

I know we're never getting back together.

I just wish things could be the way they used to be,

the four of us, that we could be friends. You know what?

I want that, too, for my birthday.

That's on Friday. I can't fix things with Walt by Friday.

Just try. Talk to him. It won't be the same

if I can't spend my birthday with all of you.

You're forgetting that you have a mega-hot boyfriend.

That is who you should be spending your birthday with.

Well, yes, he's invited, too.

And why not?

You and Sebastian are so gonna have sex.

Bye-bye, virginity.

It's my birthday. I don't give gifts. I get them.

And I just wanna keep it small this year,

you know, and spend it with the people I love.

I really need you guys...

And cupcakes. Got to have cupcakes.

You're smart not to have sex.

My relationship with Seth ruined everything for me.

Ah, here we go again.

"The b+ that destroyed my life," starring mouse.

It did. I'm no longer number one in the class.

I may not achieve my lifelong dream of going to Harvard.

I'm pretty sure that's your parents' dream.

Well, they drummed it into my head

for 16 years, so now I can't tell the difference.

Harvard isn't the only school. Yes, it is.

I've been riding this train

since the first day of kindergarten.

I can't get off now.

Sure, you can. Tuck and roll.

I'm meeting this woman from castlebury

who went to Harvard.

Where I stand now, I'm going to need connections.

I'm sure you'll charm the pants off her.

Well, that would only really work if she was a lesbian.

Is she a lesbian? She's from Harvard.

She can be anything she wants to be. Well, you'll be great, mouse.

And then she'll write me a glowing recommendation.

Right? Yes.

I can get Walt to forgive me for cheating on him, right?

Yes. It's my birthday, and I say everyone will get their wish.

What's yours?

Hmm. You know, I'm good.

I've got you guys...

Sebastian...

"Interview."

So you have everything you want?

Am I allowed to hate you just a little?

Yeah, a little bit.

Let me try this again.

Ahem.

Listen, I don't know if you girls have noticed.

I've been going through a tough time lately.

Yeah, because it's hard to see Sebastian

with that bitch Carrie Bradshaw.

What? No.

Because things didn't work out with Walt.

No. I can always get another guy.

What I can't get is this purse.

The coach leather duffle bag in red.

It's beautiful. It's so you.

It is, and it's already sold out.

But I know I can count on you two to find me one.

How?

That's your problem. I can't do everything.

Because, hello, this...

Is a full-time job.

Now get to it.

You like Pascal's triangle?

I love Pascal's triangle.

Especially the rows with the catalan numbers.

Oh, my god.

I got a shiver just now when you said that.

Stacy, it's so great to meet you.

Mouse, I wish I had a friend like you

when I was at castlebury...

Or even one friend when I was at castlebury.

Mouse was having the greatest date of her life

with a future version of herself...

one that had a degree from Harvard.

Can I show you one last thing?

You really don't have to.

I definitely feel like I know you.

My debate trophy.

East coast speech and debate invitational.

First place.

You kind of have to bend down to see it.

Of course, they give all the best spots to the jocks.

Who's Thomas west?

His name is on, like, every trophy.

Ah, just your run-of-the-mill jock.

Oh, now that's cold.

I'm Thomas west. Most people just call me "west."

Stacy ling.

Mouse realized she had taken a wrong turn

when she steered her Harvard connection

over to the trophy case,

but by then, it was too late to back up.

What brings you to castlebury?

Oh, mouse invited me to visit because I used to go here,

before I went to college... in Cambridge.

You mean Harvard? Sounds so braggy.

You got game. You might as well brag about it.

I guess.

And that's where you wanna go, isn't it?

Yes.

Mouse is an excellent candidate...

number two in the class.

Number two? I assumed you were number one.

I'm number one, unless something's changed.

Has anything changed?

No.

You're an athlete and a scholar?

We should talk. We should.

I'm also very interested in... Cambridge.

Are you free this Friday night? It's spirit night.

And watch a bunch of jocks get hammered

and make asses of themselves? No, thank you.

Sounds like fun. I'd love to go.

Me, too. Never miss it.

Hey!

Hey.

Oh, you probably don't wanna talk to me.

No. Actually, I do.

I've been wanting to talk.

Well, if it's to say how much you hate me, go ahead.

I deserve it. Maggie, I don't hate you.

Walt, don't be a w.A.S.P. About this.

Come on. Let it out.

I was angry and hurt...

But mostly confused.

You were always saying how much you loved me.

I do. I-I did.

I don't know why I did it.

I do.

I've thought about it a lot,

and I think it's because you weren't feeling loved by me,

not the way you wanna be loved.

I mean, that's not an excuse.

Maggie, it wasn't all your fault.

I wasn't a very good boyfriend.

So it's not just about me forgiving you.

This conversation is not at all going the way I expected.

Suddenly, for Maggie,

there was a light at the end of the tunnel...

While dorrit was enjoying the solitude in her cave.

You could knock!

I could set myself on fire,

and I'm not sure you'd notice.

What do you want?

Just to remind you that it's Carrie's birthday on Friday.

What?

I'm sorry. I stopped listening at "Carrie."